Our large family of 6 recently attended a Christmas party at a friends house.
It was everything a party should be: food, music, kids running around and grown ups chatting away.
We really enjoyed it. So much so that I came home wondering why I don’t host as much these days.
The wondering turned into feeling like something is wrong with me for not hosting parties and also not WANTING to host them.
What is wrong with me?
This was so fun, why wouldn’t I want to create that same experience?
After a bit of self loathing i turned to my husband and asked him what he thought on the subject.
He is the best and reminded me that we have 4 little kids and hosting is a lot of work so it makes sense that we are not jumping at the first chance to host any gathering.
And of course he was right, i just forgot that in the middle of comparing myself with this other awesome family who is able to do that and enjoy the hosting.
So, what does hosting a party have to do with making the right decision?
Well, I could decide to host a party because I feel like something is wrong with me for not wanting to host a party, so I should host one and finally be normal.
I could host a party because I want to be just as awesome as this other family who invited us over.
I could host a party because I think some social time would do us good.
OR I could simply host a party because I really want to.
After being honest with myself about whether I want to entertain or not I realized that right now, in the season of life I am in right now I have no dying desire to do so (and that explains why I haven’t hosted one in a while).
It then became clear to me that I was considering throwing a party for reasons that weren’t serving me.
Trying to be as good as others, trying not to miss out on something, trying to be someone who I am not.
Those are all the reason that would cause me to have a tough time enjoying the party if I decided to have one. (And wouldn’t solve the issue of feeling inadequate)
And so when I make a decision I always ask ‘What is my reason for making this particular choice?’
Is it coming from a place of being happy with myself or is it coming out of fear or avoidance.
If I am coming from a place of being at peace with myself, without trying to avoid anything then I know that decision will serve me.
When the reason is coming out of fear – I question making that choice explore other options.
Exploring the reasons always help me make the perfect decision! And even if I miss and make the wrong one, my reason behind it always helps me understand why I did what I did.
Exploring the reasons always help me make the perfect decision! And even if I miss and make the wrong one, my reason behind it always helps me understand why I did what I did.
So whether you are deciding something small like whether to host a party or to change career paths, I recommend asking yourself to be honest about the reasons for wanting that change.
If you don’t like your reason it can be a great opportunity to align yourself with the reason that will bring you the results you want.
Happy New Years Everyone!
-Natalia