The other day my oldest son and I were discussing his day, and he said he was cold during recess at school.
I asked him why, and he said it was because he only put on his sweater and not his winter jacket.
Instantly, I recalled myself freezing for many, many years as a child; and for no reason other than being lazy or rebelling against my parents.
I just didn’t want to bother putting on that extra layer despite knowing it would make a difference….despite my parents constantly reminding me to do so.
Now, as an adult and a parent, I’ve finally discovered the amazing feeling of being warm outside, IN THE WINTER. It’s the best!
Of course I want to save my son from freezing, so I told him ‘save yourself from years of being cold by just listening to me, and put on all your winter clothes!”
“HUH?” Was his response.
He didn’t get it at all.
But I did.
I didn’t listen to my parents, so why should I expect him to always listen to me?
Perhaps, I should expect him NOT to listen to me.
All of a sudden I felt relieved.
The pressure was off.
He won’t listen anyway.
So the next time you find yourself frustrated, wondering why your child won’t do or not do something that is in his best interest, something that you specifically asked him to do or not do, hear my voice in your head:
“This is supposed to be happening! He should be doing exactly that! Yep. You heard me. He was never meant to do as he was told. Everything is going exactly right!”
I do expect us all to forget this simple truth.
We WILL forget, and will get frustrated by the fact that our kids won’t listen to us.
But then we can go right ahead and remind ourselves – RIGHT!
This WAS MEANT to happen this way.
THEY were not supposed to listen, and it’s okay if they do the opposite.
SO that’s quite alright with me.
I should send this as a reminder to myself in a few years when they are getting into their teens and I REALLY need my own advice.
Until then I’m happy to be dealing with JUST a winter jacket problem! Hoping the same for you!
I would love to hear from you in the comments below!