I’m going to bed. It’s just my husband and I in our first house before we had kids and we just finished watching one of the shows we love. My husband says “I’ll be right up.”
I know what this “right up”means. It means he’s going to stay up for another hour and I will have to go to sleep on my own. This is not what I pictured a marriage to look like. We are supposed to go upstairs together, brush our teeth together, read books in bed together and then snuggle up and go to sleep together. Isn’t this what every marriage should look like?
Many years pass when I’m learning about relationships and how our spouses job is only to be there so we can love them.
My whole world changes in that moment.
What? His job is not to make me happy by going to bed at the same time as me?
I can just let him be him and I can take care of me? .
In fact the only way I can ever be happy is by thinking thoughts that create that for me ? .
He can’t do that for me?
Why hasn’t anyone told me that before ?
I would’ve loved to know that when we got married!
Would’ve saved me years of feeling lonely and fighting !
His only job is to be there so I can love him.
I sincerely love it when he comes to bed now later than I am. I am reminded that I have a husband and I am happy he is here. That’s all I need. Our relationship is not all perfect but that part is.
P.S. Are you thinking “but, but, but… then I won’t need anyone if that’s the case … how does that work?” It works beautifully. Imagine not needing anything from your husband and being happy to see him, how would that feel ??? Let me help you get there sooner and cheaper !