I have a long manual for my kids and 2 mornings ago I found out that in that manual I have “My son must eat egg salad(he refused to take it for his lunch). He used to eat it and like it and so he must eat it and like it now”.
Have you guys had one of those mornings where you had a tantrum because of something idiotic as your child refusing EGG SALAD????
Yep, that was me.
Afterwards, when the kids have left for school and I was left alone with my own crazy, I sat down to work.
I filled out my manual and shook my head at the ridiculousness of it all.
Did I just really flip out and get super upset over my son saying no to whatever I offered him for lunch.
If I was to picture myself reacting that same way if my husband, or friend refused an egg salad then that sounds absurd and also I would never do that!.
But don’t we all have that with our kids sometimes???
“They used to eat this! I went through all the trouble of making this for them and now they tell me they don’t want it” . Rage. Full on rage.
I’m happy to say that I never run out of personal examples that help me relate to my clients. This is what we do. We do this to ourselves. Not our kids.
We say to ourselves: “ my kids should do this, or shouldn’t do that” and that causes ALL of our unnecessary suffering when they don’t follow our ‘manual’.
After all it is our MANUAL for them.
This is what they should do and how they should do it so that WE can feel good.
Don’t they know this by now?
We have only told them 50 million times!
Yet they still don’t want to eat the cursed egg salad!
This is the reason why I do what I do!
After that horrible morning fo screaming and fighting I coached myself, looked at what thoughts created that for myself, sat there, and looked at them, and really saw how ridiculous it all was, and from seeing it all on paper I had enough distance from it to really let go of that one manual item that was not serving me AT all.
Before I discovered coaching I would have had a day full of self loathing, may be even some more screaming, a bad mood and no end in sight, no way out, no real answers, no tools to feel better, truly better.
What a relief and how exciting to know exactly WHAT to do when life happens.
Do you ever find yourself hopeless and not doing well?
Let me help you!!!
I love, love, love sharing my story and what I’ve learned so that you can feel better!
May be a little hard for you but so fun for me!
So! Egg salad! You no longer are on my manual for my kids. I am all good whether they eat it or not.
See you all next week!