Shame is an option.
Here’s how it plays out.
You can either hide and pretend that everything is fine after having a rough morning with the kids but inside you are crying.
You are so ashamed of your own behaviour that you can’t possibly imagine sharing it with anyone.
The extent to how much you lost it on them is so embarrassing and for sure something is wrong with you because you just can’t seem to break the cycle.
Shame doesn’t come from yelling, it comes from making it mean that something is wrong with you because you yell.
If the problem is inherently in YOU then there’s nothing you can do about it.
There is no growth, no change that comes from shame, there’s just more of the same.
Another way of looking at it is that there’s nothing wrong with YOU, it is simply your actions that you messed up with.
YOU are still a good mom.
SO, if you are still a good mom and the problem is your actions, then is that a problem that you can solve?
DO you notice a shift in openness to solutions if the problem is NOT YOU?
Shame is an optional feeling. You don’t have to think and believe that something is wrong with you.
You could stop believing that today! Did you know that?
You have full permission to believe ANYTHING you want to believe. Nobody can stop you.
P.S. What if I’m right on this one? What if this COULD really work? What if you are sick of hating yourself and are ready to do this for you? This is what I do, I work with moms who think something is wrong with them and I help them get unstuck. Forward this to a mom who needs to hear this or email me back if you are stuck and believe you are a lost cause.