I’m 100% worthy.
I did not believe that.
I used to beat myself up after yelling at my son.
I thought I must be a horrible, horrible person.
How can anyone be a good person when they get so angry at their kid.
I used to be so angry at myself for yelling at them that I would snap at them more and more just by staying in that spin cycle.
Until this summer.
I embraced the impossible goal of having the best relationship with my son.
I admitted it could be possible for me to have that.
So I hired a relationship coach.
3 months ago I was crying on the phone telling her “ I need to do this work because I don’t want to be this person anymore. I’m so sad.”
A few weeks ago I was telling her how a miracle has happened ( of course it was all my hard work ) and I had the best bed time routine with my son ever.
I was looking forward to seeing him, I didn’t feel guilty or not good enough for something I have done earlier that day.
I was feeling more love towards myself and him and finally being there on his side! Seeing life through his eyes and not getting mad at him.
The other part of the breakthrough is that i did yell at him that day.
The difference was what I made it mean when I yelled.
I did not make it mean that I’m a horrible person.
Instead I made it mean that that was a fluke and not at all reflective on my relationship with him.
Not at all.
In fact our relationship is so strong and good that we can handle these fights.
(and by the way i do yell a lot less coming from the belief our relationship is solid.)
No problem .
Because you see what I realized is that when I have a good relationship with my son it doesn’t mean that I never yell at him, it means that I am not focusing on it solely.
My focus is on the rest of the 98% of my time with him that is all good and filled with good stuff. I am still a good mom.
I am still 100 % worthy.
I don’t need to beat myself up.
I can still enjoy my connection with him.
I have transformed my relationship with my son and my son did not have to change at all.
All I had to do is work on my mind.
If you are struggling with your relationship with your child and are worried about how yelling is effecting them you can reach out to me and sign up for a free mini session where I can explain exactly how I can help.