Over two years ago, when my twins were born, it was a very busy time for us.
As our family grew to 6 people, the demand for my attention also grew. This is no news to any parent. Mothers of multiple kids know this really well.
And so i had to adjust to being constantly pulled in a million directions.
A year later with the twins becoming more independent, I started to gain my freedom back. I could leave the twins with our helper and take the big boys to school, or just take some time for myself to recharge. I could have her babysit and do any of the jobs around the house that needed to be done.
That year I also felt a nagging feeling of something being wrong all the time.
Going through my life everything seemed to be right on paper, so why did i keep feeling guilty, or just not right?
I’ve tried solving this many different ways, trying to figure out the perfect formula for how much time to give to the twins, the big boys, myself, my husband, the house. Nothing seemed to work. I was stuck.
What helped me get out of that funk was narrowing down my focus to ONE thought. One sentence that was making me feel that way. On repeat. Always there in the background: “I should be doing something else”.
If I was taking care of the twins then I would think I should be leaving them with the helper and running errands, or taking care of myself.
If I was running errands or taking the big boys somewhere, I would think “I should be with the twins now”. There was no winning in my head.
Whatever I was doing, I felt I should be doing something else.
The reason i’m sharing this long story with you is because the answer to my struggle was finding that one culprit thought that was causing me all the pain.
My life circumstance was : i have 4 kids.
The thought about it was: “i’m never doing the right thing”.
That thought created a feeling of being not good enough.
No wonder i found such relief in coaching myself and choosing a better belief for myself.
What I chose was:
“I am exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want and need to be doing”.
I spent months walking around practicing it in my head, and slowly my life became to fall under that premise.
It was a lot of work and it was also great.
I began to trust myself more.
My decisions started to mean more to me.
I was able to enjoy my babies and my big kids without feeling guilty that I’m not doing jobs.
I could do my errands, or take some me time without feeling guilty that I wasn’t taking care of my babies at that moment.
Guilt free parenting? For me, the difference between that and guilty parenting was what I chose to think.
I felt guilty all the time because I kept this one sentence on loop – I should be doing something else now. I felt free and started enjoying the moment by changing my sentence to “I’m doing exactly what I need to be doing now”.
Thoughts create your feelings. Negative thoughts will create negative feelings.
What feelings are you carrying around with you all the time that you can’t shake?
Finding that one belief that’s causing the feeling is your first step to feeling better.
What is that one thought for you?
Is it serving you?
What can you change it to, and are you willing to be uncomfortable to get there?
Thoughts create your feelings. Did you know that?