What I learned from Cesar Millan.
That my energy matters when I’m with the boys. If I am indicisive they will feel it and be anxious if I have not given them direction or expectations.
I am their leader. Bad one, so so one, tired one, whatever one but I am still their leader so oi can step up to the task and just decide either way – It doesn’t matter what I decide, I just have to decide to lead.
Exercise first then everything else. Cesar teaches: exercise discipline affection.
He teaches that is the best way to take care of a dog is meet their needs. Those are their needs. But exercise first. So they are not anxious bored, pent up energy.
Well the exact same thing applies to us and how do I expect myself to feel good if I have not exercised.
Discipline – lovingly set boundaries.
Affection only afterwards those two.
Walking is exercise for the dog and the man. Confirmed my love for walking , mental benefits and physical.
The front of the pack, middle of the pack and back of the pack.
Front are leaders, aggressive, alpha males. Middle of the pack are happy go lucky energy, want to help and make everyone happy energy, happy to follow.
Back of the pack are a more sensitive bunch, scanning for danger, a little paranoid , not happy go lucky. They are the packs emergency alarm system. Everyone has its job.
If the back of the pack has no leader their anxiety goes through the roof as they are scanning for danger and leading is not their strongest skill., hit makes them more anxious.
So knowing which part of the pack you belong tooo and your kids will help you accommodate them better.
For me I feel I am def more the back of the pack, more sensitive, more anxious, more alert and scanning for danger – but knowing this I am the adult and ii I can take charge of leading myself and my pack. Talking to myself, comforting, giving myself safety and care and direction that I need.
The same goes for the kids – some of he kids I know are back of the pack , generalizing here- so they need strong leadership, decisions made, no flailing, – also leading to othe3rs addressing their questions, worries, needs.
Being back of the pack – I would be overwhelmed by the amount of questions requests, people taking to me – and being overwhelmed and it kept coming would feel unsafe, threatened and bite back – feel attacked and feel aggressive back towards the kids.
I would not make decisions, I would run away from them, be mad at the kids for putting me ini this position . This would make things. Worse. Other kids would step up and be leaders, better leaders Than I am. Sometimes the sensitive kid would step up and be the leader and not a good one. Not fair one. Not kinds.
Learning from my husband and middle child I have seen the calm and kind leadership and have been following my husbands lead with pleasure.
When he is around we all happily follow, he is calm, decisive, kind and an unquestionable alpha leader in our 6 person pack.
We respectfully put requests up to him, ask him for advice. Being the wife of a leader def has its privileges- as he wants to make the wife happy. Too I simply ask for what ii want.