Pick a situation or 2 where you feel comfortable using this and ask yourself how would you say this to him if he was a grown up, who takes care of himself, whom you trust to make decisions for himself, who knows what’s best for him.
Little baby – trust that fi they are hungry they will eat. If not they will not.
Putting on a jacket for a 3,4, 5 year old. If they are cold they will put it on. The COLD will get them to do it, NOT YOU.
Getting himself ready by a certain time and being willing to have consequences in real life if he doesn’t. As if he was a grown man.
Negotiable things – that don’t matter as much to you – like the time they go to bed 10 and 11. Willing to sacrifice a bit of their sleeping time for the sake of PEACE and sanity.
Homework – trust he can manage it and it is good practice to let him manage it and if he doesn’t – they are consequences, he will have too catch up on work and get lower mark.
I trust him to figure this out.
I trust him to make the right decision.
I trust him to be ready.
I trust him to handle the consequences if he doesn’t.
I trust myself to handle the consequences if he doesn’t.
He can handle this and I can also handle this.
Start SMALL. Add on. Carry on.
I am ok if he makes a mistake. I can handle it. I can guide him.
I am at peace. I let him live his life. I let life teach him. I let him figure it out.
I am not yelling, reminding, nagging or stressing out.
AND to my amazement he DOES and it Is glorious. I ge too be at peace AND he gets to be his own person.
AND as they grow you will only need to practice this MORE of the time with more of the things and the goal is that you let him do him 100% of the time when is all grown up. SO start small and start now.
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