The other day I was driving the car with my 2 toddlers in the back and one of them needed help wiping his finger.
He kept asking me ‘mama wipe my finger, wipe my finger’. I explained that I’m driving and I can’t help him right now but when we stop I can help him. He didn’t love my answer and kept asking in hopes of a different answer.
Finally something clicked in my head and I said “ Cade, can you help Cade wipe your finger?”
This brought on a big smile to his face and I really wonder what he was thinking. May be he never thought of it that way, and I don’t think I have either.
When you think of asking for help, it usually implies you will be asking somebody or something outside of you.
You never think ‘ hm, let me ask MYSELF for help’ .
But who is the one person who’s always with us all our life and knows what we need better than anyone?
US, of course.
WE can be the ones who are there to help us when we need help, when we need anything.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel so safe no matter where you go and what you do knowing that YOU are there for yourself.
You will make sure your needs are met.
As grown ups we already do a lot of our own care.
But I want to take this past the feeding and the sleeping!
What if you were the person to take care of your own approval, your own excitement, tantrums, your own mental and emotional needs.
You will make sure your schedule isn’t overloaded or if it is then you will find time to rest.
You messed up, no problem: you got your back, no beating yourself up.
You freaked out, so you take yourself aside and listen to everything you have to say, no exceptions.
Wouldn’t it be so fun to go through life knowing that you always, always have YOURSELF there for you?
I can already hear the arguments that it’s not healthy to not need anyone, you will become a recluse and live alone, you need to have a support network, etc. etc.
But I want to suggest that it is healthy to meet your own needs.
Imagine that when you are with your friends and family and you don’t need anything from them, you can enjoy their company so much more and also are a lot more able to meet their needs when they come up.
Lets be honest – others suck at meeting our needs! No matter how many times we tell them they still get it wrong or say the wrong thing or do it at the wrong time.
And what if they are not there?
Then what?
You got YOU.
That’s what.
Of course there’ll be times when we rely on others and that is a beautiful thing.
I am only suggesting that you make yourself your first go to person for emotional comfort.
You can do it so much better than others if you practice.
Then all that’s left to do with other people in your life is love them, and enjoy their company.
What could you take over doing for yourself that you usually get others to do for you?
And how can that feel amazing?
How would that change your relationship with that person and yourself?
Would love to read your thoughts in the comments below.
Natalia
