Showing up!

Showing up!

Here’s what I see.

The clients that show up for themselves get results.
The clients that don’t show up for themselves don’t get results.
The clients that don’t show up for themselves also struggle to show up for others.
This creates a cycle of overwhelm and more of not showing up for anyone.
I definitely see this in my life when I neglect myself and when I hold myself through it all.
How hard are you willing to work to feel like you can handle anything life brings your way?
What is ‘showing up’?
For me it’s writing down my thoughts every day for at least 5 mins.
For some it’s meditating.
For some it’s taking a walk by themselves.
But for so many there is nothing that they do just for themselves and so they come to me saying they put everyone else first and tears swell up in their eyes.    There is NO ONE there for them. Not even themselves. They only have me showing up for them, but that’s still not the same as them doing it for themselves.
So if you could pick one thing today what would it be?
Make it extremely easy for yourself to do each day?
2 mins of journaling? 10 min walk? 5 min meditation?
Commit to do the minimum each day and don’t give yourself an ‘I’ll try’.
“I’ll try” is a great out. Fail before even trying.
“I am committed to do this for myself. Period.”
Have a lovely Tuesday guys!!!
P.S.  This is one of the best parts of working with me: setting yourself up so you don’t need me or anyone else to take care of yourself.  It is the best gift you can give yourself and I love being part of it!!! Email me back if you want help figuring out what ‘showing up’ looks like for you!

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Cure for ‘cancer’.

You guys,

I literally feel as If I have a cure for cancer because when someone comes to me and says ‘I don’t think I have the ability to love or have good relationships’  – I CAN HELP THEM.

They think it’s terminal and they are born that way and nothing can change and I HAVE a solution for them that will cure them of that “inability to love”.

Seriously.

This is what I told that person:  Your first step is to imagine that it is POSSIBLE for you to love and have a good relationship.

How would you feel if you imagined its possible for you?

How would you act when you felt that way?

What life would you create by acting that way?

It all starts with possibility.

It is Monday and anything is possible!!!

Natalia

P.S.  I am here if you ever have questions or are just curious about HOW I cure the ‘cancer’ – email me back or DM me.  I will be so happy to talk to you!!!

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Drops in the ocean

My mom told me long time ago when I was a kid that

 “all the people in our lives are like drops from the ocean, and those drops are little mirrors that show our reflections back to us”.

I can see now how that has served me in my relationships.
Whenever I would have a fight or disagreement with anyone in my life I would always walk away thinking ‘where am I wrong here, what is the lesson here for me?’
So often I see people walking away justified, ‘right’, convinced that it is not ‘them’, it’s the other guy.
Being right feels good.
But that’s about it.
They stay a victim of their story and continue to blame the other guy for their misfortunes.
This creates only more of the same.
There is no growth.
There is same judgments, feelings, and actions.
Same lives.
I am not interested in creating more of the same when it comes to victimhood, are you?
Look at all the people in your life and see yourself in them.
Have a beautiful weekend my friends!
Natalia
P.S. What’s the worst that can happen for you? You hire me and it doesn’t work and you are out some money? I don’t think so.  I think the worst that can happen is you NOT doing this work and staying exactly where you are.  I cannot wait to see what you create with the information and coaching I give you! It has blown my mind and it will for sure blow yours!!!

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I’M SO BUSY!

What if we eliminated ‘so busy’ from our vocabulary???

Whenever I tell anyone I have 4 boys, 99% of people react “wow, you must be so busy!”.
Although there is definitely truth in it, I never choose to say that about my life.
Why? Because I feel extremely overwhelmed when I think that and there is no good coming out of that.
Instead you know what I do, I simply state the ONE thing I am doing right now.
In fact I made it a habit, whenever one of my boys asks for my help and I am already helping the other boy, I always say ‘I can’t right now, I am helping this guy with his mittens, when I’m done with him I will help you.’
Instead of ‘I can’t help you, can’t you see I’m BUSY!!!” (Roll your eyes)
Notice how right away with that one word you tell the whole story of your life: that you always have something or someone who needs you, you have no time to yourself, victim mode, victim mode, victim mode” cry me a river!
I can find the truth in the ‘I’m busy’ and I can also find the truth in the ‘I’m doing this one thing right now.”
The truth is we are always doing just that one thing, even when we are interrupted a million times, we still pay attention to only one thing at a time.
So I want to challenge you to eliminate ‘I”M BUSY” from your vocabulary and see how hard it is. For some of us it is such a habit to say it to anyone, all the time, every day.  What that creates is a habit of feeling overwhelmed all the time.
If you were to choose from two very true things, one could make you feel overwhelmed and the other calm and focused, what would it be?
Have a fantastic Wednesday everybody!
If you ever wonder what I’m doing: it’s only one of the two things: working or with my family.  I’m not busy, I only have 2 things(wink).
Natalia
P.S. Feeling overwhelmed with life and especially holidays coming up I cannot suggest strongly enough to come work with me as I have eliminated overwhelm in my life and I help you do the same.  Imagine a calm and relaxed December? It is possible. IF you just read to the end of this email then why don’t we continue this conversation over coffee?! You got this!

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You don’t HAVE to LIVE!

Did you know you don’t HAVE to do anything??

You don’t have to go to work.
You don’t have to take care of your family.
You DON’T have to pay taxes, contrary to popular belief.
You don’t have to be a good person.
You don’t have to brush your teeth.
Sure, there will be consequences, with gingivitis, loss of relationships, going broke, feeling bad about being mean to others, etc.
All of the above have consequences to them.
Which you may not like.
But to say you HAVE TO DO them – is a LIE.
We CHOOSE to do them because we DON’T like the consequences that come from  NOT DOING Them.
I’ll take it ever further.
You don’t have to eat.
You also don’t have to shower.
 
You don’t even have to live.
This is the crazy part but stay with me.
You have free will that you can exercise on anything.
NOBODY can make you do anything, NOT EVEN stay alive.
People can take their own lives, because they even have a say in that!!!
I’m not trying to convince you to end your own life, not at all, on the contrary, take your life back!
What I’m saying is that we think we HAVE to do all these things, but we don’t, we just forgot that we get to CHOOSE them.
 
SO, if we don’t HAVE to do any of it – then what do we WANT to do???
DO you want to take care of your kids, pay taxes and brush your teeth? Oh and LIVE?
Saying I WANT TO (because I prefer to do them over the negative consequences that follow when I don’t do them) do all those things CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!!
This is YOUR life – you don’t HAVE to do anything!! So what will you do if you have the ultimate freedom?
I’m guessing you will still CHOOSE to live and be a good person and pay taxes, and take care of your family.
BUT you will do it from a much different place than you would thinking that you have to.
So what will it be for YOU? What do you WANT ?
Natalia
P.S. What? You say you want to work with a life coach but afraid of what others will think?  That is such a common response that I get and I say what a more reason to do it!!!  Lots of people who want to work with me want to work on their confidence.  Telling people you work with a life coach takes balls.  What if they disapprove, judge or think you are weird and will never succeed?  You get your first taste of being confident just by declaring to the world that you work with a life coach, because you are OKAY with peoples’ judgements, and that is the ultimate confidence I see in my clients.  But before you can declare you are working with a life coach I invite you to email me back to set up a time to talk about what you want!!!

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Let’s grab a drink after work!

How are you feeling today my friend?

I bet you have so much to tell me.  How your weekend went, how you got some stuff done, you were tired, and now the new week is here and you still have lots to get done on your xmas list, the in laws need to know this and that, and you just wish you had a break, December is already here, time is flying by, and what you also want to tell me is how anxious you feel about something coming up at work etc etc etc.

If you and I made a plan to meet up today after work for a glass of wine (or a non alcoholic beer for me), you would feel may be a sense of relief, something to look forward to. I know I would.

You would arrange for child care and know that THAT TIME IS FOR YOU.

You will get to vent, and share and laugh and relax with a good friend.

Now picture the exact same scenario but except for ME being on the other side of the table you had a piece of paper and a pen.

You could still meet yourself for a refreshing beverage and ask the hubby or whoever to pick up the kids.

YES, it does look dorky and weird but just stay with me.

How AMAZING would it feel to know that you GOT YOU????

You don’t need a friend or whoever to be available for you get to feel that way.

If they are that’s great, but SO SO SO often we are left waiting for the magical moment when everything aligns so we can pop out of our routine to feel heard and cared for with a friend.

And while waiting we carry everything around with us and feel unheard and alone.

There is no reason to wait!  I MUST share this with all of you.  

What you imagine you will feel after meeting with a friend and sharing your heart out is the feeling you CAN and in fact you always DO create for yourself, whether your friend is listening or not.

You create it by thinking “I GOT ME, I am here for me” and then acting that way. TODAY.

SO why don’t you give it a try and take yourself our of your routine, even if its just for a 15 min coffee.

Sit yourself down and tell yourself everything you would tell your friend, and listen, and ask ‘what else?’ , ‘how’s work?’, ask all the questions your friend would ask and answer them.

Tell yourself your biggest worries and fears and what’s on your mind.

“But then I won’t need any friends’ you are thinking, ‘and that’s unhealthy’.

I must tell you that when you do this for YOURSELF, you will still want to see your friends and in fact you will be able to show up as a better friend for them.

You won’t be fighting for your turn to talk! You will listen and really BE there for your friend.

Don’t worry, you will still want to see your friends and love them. But you won’t feel needy and unstable because you GOT YOU.

What if it was your job to listen to yourself whenever you need it and your friends ONLY job was to be there(or even somewhere else) so you can love them?

Happy Monday my friends! Take yourself out for a date with yourself, you will love that feeling SO much you will treasure it forever!!!

Natalia

P.S. have some questions about this awkward exercise, shoot them my way I am happy to guide you through it. After all, you are worth it!!!

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The Universe is friendly.

This morning I had a perfect window between groceries and the dentist to pick up my new glasses.

I arrived early, before the glasses office was open and I sat in the car happily listening to my podcast.

I knew I had 15 minutes from when the store opens to when my dentist appointment begins.  The drive is 7 minutes from one place to the other.

I sat there and I had a thought of worry come up, what if they don’t open in time and I’ll have to leave before I get my glasses.

But since I know that the universe is friendly, I was sitting there and I was certain that everything will work out just in time.

10:00 am came, no-one.
10:01 nobody there.
10:02 nothing yet
10:03 still no-one . I’ll still get them, I thought. I’ll sit here till 10:07 and then go.
10:04 sure enough the person pulled in and I got my glasses in and out and made it to the dentist right on time. (thanks Karen!)

IT would’ve been so easy to give up and leave and assume I won’t be able to get the glasses.  But I knew believing it will work out will always pay off.

Your universe wants you to succeed.  Will you join the universe and make it easy for it to help you?

I truly believe it is friendly.
Happy Friday ya’ll!!!

P.S. “but what if I believe and nothing happens?”  what a great questions.  That means you didn’t believe hard enough.   This is where I come in and help you believe BEFORE you have the proof of the result.  Whoa? yes. It’s true. We must start believing FIRST before we have done it.  Ready to start believing? Setting up a call with me is always a great sign of you believing.  Keep going and grow you belief by hitting reply. I’ll see you on the other side.

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This is what success feels like.

Friday, I get off the call with my client and I am overcome with this awe of what just happened.
My client tells me how their life has changed, their relationship with themselves has shifted, it has become better.
The relationships with their close ones has changed.
Their life is not perfect but what once seemed impossible is now a reality.
I drive with my husband in the car and I can’t get over how amazing it feels to be someone who helped that person and to witness those results.
And I tell him ‘this is what success feels like’.
Skip to Monday and I am driving to a school, where I will present to high school students about my job and career.
I am also in awe of what I have accomplished and what once seemed impossible (to find a career that I love) is now a reality.
But I can’t feel this awe as I am scared and nervous to public speak in front of anyone right now.
I haven’t done it in 10 months.
And amidst of the fear and nervousness my brain says ‘this is what success feels like’.
And it makes me smile.
The two days could not feel any different.
Yet they are both part of one success.
It is beautiful and uncomfortable at the same time.
And I love it.
P.S. This is also what I do with my clients, I help them set impossible goals (dream jobs or results) and I help them stay out of their own way so they can actually do the work to get there.  It is not some magic, woo woo or rocket science. I simple work with them to make sure their excuses and discomfort don’t come in the way of their goals. That’s it.   What better way to go into December and the new year knowing that you have a personal champion there for you to work for you and YOUR dreams.  I invite you to sign up for a free call with me to discuss your big goals!

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What am I missing here?

What am I missing here?

As opposed to ‘what’s wrong with me?’

Notice how differently you would approach yourself and your day when you ask the first question.

This was me this morning.  I snapped at the kids.

Then I proceeded to call my husband and my friend and ask them about how THEY do it? I also got coached on that as well. All in one morning.

Yes I was frustrated, but I also admitted that I am definitely missing something and I CAN figure it out, I just have to find out what it is.

I probably did the ‘something is wrong with me’ bit for a minute but it was so quick that I can’t even remember it now.

SO, the words of wisdom are these today….

What am I missing here? 

Creates openness and space for answers.

What is your question today that you are looking to answer?

P.S. If your question is how do I make things better between me and so and so then I am the person for you.  I have worked on so many relationships in my life that whatever it is I have seen it.  You might be thinking ‘it doesn’t apply to me because my situation is different’ I challenge you to question that story.  What if it is not that different in your situation and what if you could just work with me for 6 months and enjoy the REST of your life living in what’s possible for you??? What’s the downside in trying? The only downside I see here is NOT finding out for yourself. Email me back, would love to hear from you !

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What I told high school students …

Most of my life I did not know what it is that I am passionate about.  And then I read this article by Mark Manson.

He says that if we have to look for what we are passionate about then we are probably NOT passionate about it.

He suggest that what we love doing is something that we ALWAYS FIND Time for every single day.

You just don’t realize it’s a thing and you do it and you love it.

And then he said something that completely changed my life.

HE says the way you know what it is that you already love doing is by asking yourself this questions:

WHAT is it that You do during your day that you get so caught up in that you forget to go pee?

WHAT is it that You do during your day that YOU get so caught up in that I forget to go pee?

That is how I have found my passion and I love life coaching.

Life coaching may not be for all of you,  it may be for some of you. .

But finding what you are passionate about is something that you can start doing right now.  This article is what helped me and it may help you.

Here are the links to 2 articles:
https://markmanson.net/passion
https://markmanson.net/life-purpose

P.S.
“I’m too overwhelmed with my own life right now just trying to keep these little humans alive, I’m not even close to thinking about my ‘passion’ in life”.  I get it, and I want to offer to help you get out of the survival mode.  What would it feel like for you to be able to handle ANYTHING that comes up in your life?  Email me back, what have you got to lose? Looking forward to talking to you!

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