Tag stopyellingfeelbetter

Feeling good intolerance

Here’s a thought i heard today you might like: “I’m learning to trust the good in my life”.

You know when you go to check on your kids when they are sleeping and they look so amazing and beautiful that it becomes too much for you to handle,  you get scared that something will happen to them?

Your feeling of love turns into fear and loosing this fortune. 

I call this being uncomfortable with feeling good. Really. 

We are intolerant to feeling good. 

We can’t take too much of it, at some point we get very uncomfortable with feeling THAT good. 

To avoid that discomfort we have thoughts like ‘it’s irresponsible to not worry, i don’t want to brag, this is white people problems; adding complaining at the end to make us seem more normal’.

Those are the ways we bring ourselves back where it’s more comfortable: some good and some problems.

I’m definitely a believer that we can grow our capacity to have and feel good in our life. 

Practice feeling good without guilt, excuses, fear or shame. (and i do that with that sentence : “i’m learning ot trust the good in my life” and i lean in and feel the love without being afraid. just adding a second here and there)

It’s not a mystery, it’s intentional brain management. 

Natalia

P.S.

My job is just like the job of a fridge technician.  He comes in and adjusts the way the fridge works SO that the food doesn’t rot. We need the food to stay cold so that we can be healthy and have a great life. 
I come in and adjust the way your brain works SO that your THOUGHTS (food) don’t get rotten and make you sick.  IF we let the fridge do it’s thing without setting the thermostat and maintaining it, keeping the door closed our food will get rotten and we will get sick.

The exact same thing happens with our brain.  If we keep the door open and LET every opinion into brain well we will feel sick- sad, unsure, ashamed.
If we don’t set the temperature- which is what thoughts are acceptable to achieve the life we want – if we don’t set that then again we will get sick.

Food fuels our body. Thoughts fuel our mind, which creates our life.  Keep your food cold and manage your thoughts.  – your friendly neighbourhood life coach:) 

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Unsupervised Questions

We all do this.
“Is this the right thing to do?”
”What if I’m wrong?”
”What if they are right?”
”What if it’s not worth it?”
The list goes on and on.

Ask a better question and the quality of answers will change. “If there is no right decision which one sounds more fun?”
“If we are both right, what do I want to do?”
”Why do I want to do this?”
What do you guys think about this subtle yet powerful shift?

Natalia

P.S. This is what one of my client said after working with me:
“Once I got control of my life back I felt awesome, free, lighter. It got me back to my confidence definitely, it got me back to who I really am.” So the question is not “can that be you” because it absolutely can but a better question is what do you want out of your life? What do you want to feel on the other side? It is possible for you now.

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This is just what happens


  • So you know how we are born, we go to school, get married, get a job, have kids. It’s a thing that we all do or try to do if we can. We may do it in a different order, skip some steps or take longer but it’s just what we do.

    So when I came across my life coach who was offering her help I ignored it completely because it’s not what we do, I didn’t know anybody who was doing it so I didn’t even hear her offer at first.

    Then when I heard some of her clients talk about their lives and what changed for them from working with her I was SOLD, I wanted some of that for me, hearing real people talk about how they could lose weight and start a business and make money, be confident- did it for me. I wanted all of those things! FOR ME!

    But at the same time I thought this is just a scam, she just wants my money, may be I’m a fool, may be I can’t do this, and I definitely don’t want to spend money on this, nobody is doing it and they will definitely think I’m such a fool for paying money for this.

    This is not what people do!

    Hiring a life coach is not part of the plan!
    But I wanted to feel confident so badly, I wanted to be doing all those things those people were doing!
    So I had to literally convince myself that I can Become confident and be just like her clients who achieved all those things.
    I will admit it took me months to convince myself To even try it.

    It wasn’t a gym membership, which is easy to share about with friends.
    It wasn’t even the same as going to a psychologist, which is more commonly done but not so commonly shared.

    This was brand new and there was a big chance of it not working.
    Doing something that nobody is doing is scary.

    But from my experience I gained my whole life by doing something that nobody is doing, I gained my confidence, my fun in life, I gained all the things I thought were impossible for me.

    I lost the safety of being liked by everyone but I can’t even remember why that mattered now.

    So I think it is so worth it to let yourself convince yourself to do something you want. Have a real conversation with yourself and negotiate.
    What do you want and what are the risks, and are you willing to work hard to get that.

    Have a real conversation with yourself and negotiate.
    What do you want and what are the risks, and are you willing to work hard to get that result no matter what.

    -Natalia
    P.S. Now I will share with you what my client said here so watch what your brain says and be curious about why it says that, does it say “it’s not for me” or “I wish I could have that” and be curious.

    If you have been convincing yourself to do this I think you are ready, what is your one doubt that’s stopping you? I can help you overcome it so that you can also get what you like.

    P.s.s. she says: “What you told me in our first chat blew my mind.
    I never really saw things the way that you described it and I knew the awareness was there but its kind of like you helped me recall it and you put it in a logical way which I am not able to do. I’m a very emotional person and you explained it so well that it was easy to understand and it made so much sense that it changed completely the way I was in control gain, I was no longer the passenger, I was the driver. I was in control again.”

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Brains are fascinating!


I woke up this morning from a dream where I thought that my little guy was drowning!

I pulled him out and it was over in seconds but that scared face coming out of the water WOKE me up early and I was so shaken up! Here’s what I find so interesting, I’m always so amazed how an image in my head from a dream can create such strong emotion!!!

NOTHING has happened, I was sleeping! Yet my brain thinks my son was drowning! And now I’m picturing strapping on a life jacket on him for the future to make sure he doesn’t drown!

And trying to prevent that from happening NOT because he was drowning but because I had a dream of him drowning ! So fascinating !

This is what our brain does when we are awake too- it imagines stuff and then goes to solve for that imaginary scenario, because we think it’s real! Or potentially real in the future! Or realistic!

It’s so crazy and cool to realize that none of it is real, it’s all our perception and when we think it’s real we go down the rabbit hole and believe something we don’t have to beleive. We suffer unnecessarily.

What a powerful beautiful software we have in our brain, we can use it for worry or we can use it to imagine a wonderful future for ourselves.

Both are imagining, worry is just imagining something terrible happening in the future and the other is imagining something great happening in the future.

So thanks to that dream I got yo spend extra quiet time with myself this morning, with a coffee, NOT being afraid that my son will drown. I read and watched a scholars video on money.

#brainsatefascinating


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I AM ENOUGH

Because I am. And you are too.


And when you think you would be better with more discipline or less weight, it’s a lie.


More patient with your kids or more loving with your mom and then you are will acceptable. Not true.


You are enough already – impatient and snappy. Why?


Because it FEELS good to think “I am enough” and from that feeling – we are a lot more loving to ourselves and others, which is what we want, right?


You are enough.

#iamenough#youareenough#mom#momof4#momoftwins#yyc#acceptingyourself#talknicetoyoueself

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Confidence is knowing you will talk nice to yourself, always


Make a deal with yourself that no matter what is going on externally or internally you will talk nice to yourself through it and after it. Then do exactly that. Have your own back.

That starts now with exactly what your life looks like already, no matter how far it is from what you want it to be- don’t use it against yourself. .
Be on your side about everything.

I snapped at the twins this morning while trying to do work, and I came right back and apologized, I didn’t beat myself up for it. I said sorry and moved on.


I ate tacos with tortillas yesterday even thought I don’t really like eating bread things (IG makes me feel bloated), but I did and I moved on. I made it mean that yes I had a taco, but it doesn’t mean anything about me or my future. That is how I’m having my back every single situation in life.

And I fuck up a lot, that’s why I’m practicing this.


But what I know for sure it feels so much better to be nice to myself no matter what. And safer.


#safe #talknice #haveyourback #confidence

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BE MORE YOU

I’m working on ‘cultivating’ being me because that is what gets me the life i want by attracting people who want my help.

Yes i want to help people but i also want this for ME, helping people is FOR ME, i have fun with it, i feel good when i do it, i expand my comfort zone and skills and push myself. ALL of it is for me. 

I want you to do the same.

Because really what you and I both want is not that much different.  

We both want to feel in control of our life, to feel love, to be confident, to have FUN,  to have all the things we want in life.  

The path there is being the most US we can be. 

If I am the most ME I can be then that also means i have accepted all of my flaws, and i am loving all the great parts of me. I am USING them to create and build the life i want.

If you are the MOST YOU you can be then that means the exact same thing – showing the world ALL parts of you. 

And i don’t mean showing everyone on instagram like I do, no, it may mean coming to terms with being judgmental of your husband and no longer blaming him for how you feel. Saying to him ‘i have this thing i’m insecure about and it often comes out when i think of you, i am working on it. it has nothing to do with you, it’s all me and my work.’

Now that is super powerful, you are not beating yourself up for doing it and you are also NOT hiding it.  

It is what it is and you know you are working on it and it’s okay. 

That is what i mean when i say you love ALL of you, all of your judgements, all of the mess ups, all of it. It also means you get better at seeing all the amazing sides you. 

We often wait to get rid of our flaws to fully embrace our strengths but that only dulls them.  Embracing both is MAGIC.

Because you are not shaming yourself about judging you are so much lighter and you laugh and enjoy yourself when you feel great! nothing is holding you back! You are YOU at all times. 

So cultivate being YOU in all the ways. 

If you see me share something vulnerable do the same with yourself – share one thing you wish was different about you – even with just yourself – just so you make peace with it. 

I hear ‘love yourself’ a lot.
But here’s the specific how – take one thing you don’t like about yourself now and chose it as part of your brand, that’s what makes you YOU and that is what the world needs – your husband and kids need you EXACTLY the way you are.  THAT is the way to loving yourself.

WE need you to be MORE YOUl

DO THAT.

Natalia 

P.S.  My mom and I used to fight like crazy all our life UNTIL i did this work and changed our relationship dramatically!  So dramatically that i was able to coach her without judgement! 

Here’s what my mom says about working with me one on one: 

“Natalia helped me solve little problems in life but by doing that work I got my confidence in my life that I have always wanted. I started trusting myself, others, my work, and it’s a big deal for me. 

Natalia showed me where I was not being honest with myself. 
My relationship with myself is the most important to me.  And all the things I am able to do now are the result of that.
Natalia was the catalyst in learning to trust myself and be more confident.  I had all the knowledge and read all the books. What she gave me made it all work.”

Click here to sign up for one on one coaching with me and be MORE of YOU with me.  

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Life Results

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she reminded me of all the non business related results that I’ve created in my life. 

Oh right, those. I am so focused on my business that I forgot about those. 

Here are a few:

Certainty that I can figure it out. 

Feeling connected with my husband. Moving towards him always.

Brave enough to create time for me and what I want, outside of kids and family.  Willing to feel guilty and deal with guilt and still do it. 

Enjoying my kids more than I have ever before (except for those time when I just don’t lol).  

The body that I love, that I feel proud to be in.  That one is probably one of the things I’m most proud of, that and my relationship wth my husband. 

Proud of myself for sharing my ideas with the world, feeling exposed and vulnerable and doing it anyway.

Being understanding and accepting with my mom.  Huge shift there.

My next one that I’m working on is my relationship with myself.   

I feel like all the road lead there.  So I’m standing at the doors of that final destination and figuring out what that looks like, loving myself and having my own back always. 

So far it feels a lot like hitting my head against the door and hurting and not getting anywhere. But I feel I am close.

In fact I know it is only a decision we make in each moment – how we react to ourselves. 

What non tangible results do you want for yourself?

Go get those results. Do anything necessary to get them. 

It feels amazing.

P.S.  Doubt it would work for you? That’s normal. Doubt is part of our survival instinct, it’s doing its job. Doubt doesn’t mean we are doing something wrong or we shouldn’t be doing it.  Trust me I know. I have had doubt every step of the way and here I am with a bag full of results I have always wanted. And I still have doubts every single day. It’s normal and part of the process.  So come chat with me despite your doubts, bring me your doubts.  Let’s go!
P.S.S.  here’s what my clients say: “Working with Natalia made my feel like I’m not just another number in the psychologist book.  I felt I was finally reconnecting with myself even while having anxiety.  I was able to get personal with myself.  You gave me the access key to get personal with myself and understand what is going on in my brain.”

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I love me anyway!

I love me anyway.
.
This is what I practiced all through out the Christmas break.
.
As my brain continued to tell me how bad I am at taking care of the kids, or being in social situations, or showing love for my husband, or stuffing my face with desert. .
“I love me anyway.”
.
Because, what’s the alternative? .
Agree with everything and keep beating myself up. Well that will just create more of horrible feelings and more of the same behaviour. .
So I went all in on having my own back no matter what.
.
Sure I wasn’t able to do it perfectly always and I got really frustrated with myself but as soon as I remembered to love myself anyway I tried to do just that. .
And you know what, giving myself that space to be bad at things and love myself anyway felt so good. It gave me space to be ‘not good’ and not act it out on others. I was just okay with being ‘any quality’ Natalia. .
Doing this for me made it so much easier to love others when they were not at their best. I loved them anyway. .
Fail, Fail, fail. I Love me anyway. .
Happy Monday my friends!
.
P.S. This is exactly what you can expect to learn and apply when you work with me on your relationships. This is THE best work ever that pays off tenfold. Trust me, it’s worth it!!! I invite you to schedule your free mini sessions with me where we get on the phone and talk about what relationship you want to work on and why. I guarantee you it will change your life. Just message me on here.

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The Universe is friendly.

This morning I had a perfect window between groceries and the dentist to pick up my new glasses.

I arrived early, before the glasses office was open and I sat in the car happily listening to my podcast.

I knew I had 15 minutes from when the store opens to when my dentist appointment begins.  The drive is 7 minutes from one place to the other.

I sat there and I had a thought of worry come up, what if they don’t open in time and I’ll have to leave before I get my glasses.

But since I know that the universe is friendly, I was sitting there and I was certain that everything will work out just in time.

10:00 am came, no-one.
10:01 nobody there.
10:02 nothing yet
10:03 still no-one . I’ll still get them, I thought. I’ll sit here till 10:07 and then go.
10:04 sure enough the person pulled in and I got my glasses in and out and made it to the dentist right on time. (thanks Karen!)

IT would’ve been so easy to give up and leave and assume I won’t be able to get the glasses.  But I knew believing it will work out will always pay off.

Your universe wants you to succeed.  Will you join the universe and make it easy for it to help you?

I truly believe it is friendly.
Happy Friday ya’ll!!!

P.S. “but what if I believe and nothing happens?”  what a great questions.  That means you didn’t believe hard enough.   This is where I come in and help you believe BEFORE you have the proof of the result.  Whoa? yes. It’s true. We must start believing FIRST before we have done it.  Ready to start believing? Setting up a call with me is always a great sign of you believing.  Keep going and grow you belief by hitting reply. I’ll see you on the other side.

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