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I AM ENOUGH

Because I am. And you are too.


And when you think you would be better with more discipline or less weight, it’s a lie.


More patient with your kids or more loving with your mom and then you are will acceptable. Not true.


You are enough already – impatient and snappy. Why?


Because it FEELS good to think “I am enough” and from that feeling – we are a lot more loving to ourselves and others, which is what we want, right?


You are enough.

#iamenough#youareenough#mom#momof4#momoftwins#yyc#acceptingyourself#talknicetoyoueself

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Confidence is knowing you will talk nice to yourself, always


Make a deal with yourself that no matter what is going on externally or internally you will talk nice to yourself through it and after it. Then do exactly that. Have your own back.

That starts now with exactly what your life looks like already, no matter how far it is from what you want it to be- don’t use it against yourself. .
Be on your side about everything.

I snapped at the twins this morning while trying to do work, and I came right back and apologized, I didn’t beat myself up for it. I said sorry and moved on.


I ate tacos with tortillas yesterday even thought I don’t really like eating bread things (IG makes me feel bloated), but I did and I moved on. I made it mean that yes I had a taco, but it doesn’t mean anything about me or my future. That is how I’m having my back every single situation in life.

And I fuck up a lot, that’s why I’m practicing this.


But what I know for sure it feels so much better to be nice to myself no matter what. And safer.


#safe #talknice #haveyourback #confidence

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Falling off of ripstik, failing in life

I did a thing this weekend.  I learned how to ride a ripstik. 


What is it? It’s like a skateboard but only with 2 wheels, one at the back, one at the front. (I’ll post a video on IG so proud!)

As I watched my oldest son try and fail, try and fail, try, try, try, fail and get slightly better each time I really wanted to try. 

So I did.  It was scary.

What was soooo interesting to me was to watch my own reaction. My first attempt I was so scared to fall. I couldn’t even get up on it. 

After that I didn’t want to try again.  My brain just told me I can’t do it. It’s for the kids. It’s not for adults.  I’m too big, I won’t be able to do it.  Don’t worry about it. You’re a mama, your job is to make sure kids are safe. Why are you bothering me with that stuff?!

But I DID want to ride it. I DID.  What my brain was offering me was just a way out because I was scared. 

What I have learned from starting a business is that what it takes to be successful in business is willingness to FAIL.  If I am willing to fail unlimited amount of times then I will eventually succeed.  That’s it.

And I think it applies to everything in our life. What do we want? Well to get that we just have to be willing to FAIL infinity times to get it. 

Here’s what I have learned: is that I was so resistant and scared of falling that I almost didn’t try at all. ALSO after my FIRST failure I almost didn’t try at all. ONLY 1 FAIL and I was never going to try again. 

We as adults are so afraid to fail, be embarrassed, humiliated, FALL down, get hurt, etc, etc.  We avoid that at all cost.

Unless of course we are onto ourselves and we keep trying and KNOW that failing IS what it takes to get there. 

I watched my son go at it again and again, falling, getting hurt and trying again. Stealing every free moment he has to attempt it again.  Failing was fun to him! He didn’t think of it as failing.  He thought of it as getting a little better each time and doing a wheelie ( life one wheel up). 

So fail on purpose and fail often.  Fail more than once.  Try and try again. Think of the fun trick you will make once you get it. Think of the fun.

If you are working on being nice to yourself and find yourself talking nasty to yourself again, great you are failing, great – you are actually attempting something again.  Choose to not beat yourself up over it and choose to just try again.  

Go do what you want to do and fail as many times as necessary.  Get hurt, physically and emotionally, be embarrassed, feel sad.  Great work. Do it again. 

Natalia 

P.S.  This is where a skill set of a coach is very useful.  You will fail and you will want to quit.  Your brain will offer you a million reasons to stop trying.  And if you are not surrounded by people who are attempting the same thing you will believe it and quit.  All a coach does is not let the person quit on themselves, no matter what a brain tells them. Not holding you accountable but helping you understand how your brain works and that it takes 100 fails to get there.  You are doing it right. I work one on one with my clients so when you are ready this work is here for you. 
P.S.S. is what one of my clients(mom of 2) says: “For anyone who is on the fence about doing this work I would say that for me it was definitely the key help, so it does work. 
And it does change you, it doesn’t just help you it changes you in a positive way.
You are not just resolving whatever problem you have you are actually get a new key to open up the door you couldn’t open before so you can actually achieve even more. So it is worth it, it’s really worth it.   Everybody should know the stuff that you have to share.”

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AND IT’S OKAY.

Here’s a fun thing to try on this weekend.

Whenever you catch yourself sharing or complaining or straight out stating a problem – add. “AND IT’S OKAY” at the end.
Just try it on for fun.
I am tired. And it’s okay.
It’s been such a long week. And it’s okay.
I’m single parenting this weekend. And it’s okay.
They are fighting again. And it’s okay.
They don’t like me. And it’s okay.
I’m not suggesting you actually be okay with all those things.
You can keep being not okay with them.
I just want to show you that you do have an option of making that subtle change of feeling for yourself without actually changing your life.
I know for sure that when you need it and use it will give us a sigh of relief.
This is the truth of my life right now AND IT’S OKAY. 
Have a wonderful weekend!
Love you all!
And yes I am single parenting this weekend, and it’s okay!!!
N

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I love me anyway!

I love me anyway.
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This is what I practiced all through out the Christmas break.
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As my brain continued to tell me how bad I am at taking care of the kids, or being in social situations, or showing love for my husband, or stuffing my face with desert. .
“I love me anyway.”
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Because, what’s the alternative? .
Agree with everything and keep beating myself up. Well that will just create more of horrible feelings and more of the same behaviour. .
So I went all in on having my own back no matter what.
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Sure I wasn’t able to do it perfectly always and I got really frustrated with myself but as soon as I remembered to love myself anyway I tried to do just that. .
And you know what, giving myself that space to be bad at things and love myself anyway felt so good. It gave me space to be ‘not good’ and not act it out on others. I was just okay with being ‘any quality’ Natalia. .
Doing this for me made it so much easier to love others when they were not at their best. I loved them anyway. .
Fail, Fail, fail. I Love me anyway. .
Happy Monday my friends!
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P.S. This is exactly what you can expect to learn and apply when you work with me on your relationships. This is THE best work ever that pays off tenfold. Trust me, it’s worth it!!! I invite you to schedule your free mini sessions with me where we get on the phone and talk about what relationship you want to work on and why. I guarantee you it will change your life. Just message me on here.

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One more thing

I have added one more thing to my morning routine and it is gratitude, and already I am seeing the world through a different lense.
This a moment from a dance party we have each night after dinner (while one of the boys does the dishes and I put away the food).
I found myself wanting to go join the party and watch the kids dance last few nights. Before I would’ve been happy they are out of the kitchen and enjoyed the peace.
Now I am so impressed with the routine we’ve made with the kids: boys doing the dishes and us enjoying 5-10 min of kids dancing and really having that release each night. How fun! We often join them.
Last night Tyler and I were in the kitchen and the party was downstairs and I told Tyler I want to go downstairs to see if papa is dancing! Because not only is it fun to watch the kids but Doug is a good dancer !
So thanks for this practice I am now being able to be more present and enjoy the family and have fun! Thanks @kalina_malina for helping me add this to my day! .

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I have SO much more time!

Breakthrough
An amazing thing has happened ! I feel now that I have more time then ever with my little twins !!! Which is incredible considering where I started.
I used to be home with them and then working part time. I took them grocery shopping with me , to their gymnastics, put them for nap and all the other million things I did as a mom ( and still do ). But back then I was so convinced that I must be with them as much as I can or it will not be enough !!!!
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I felt I didn’t have enough time for my work and for my twins!
I felt I was stuck and this was an impossible problem to solve!
I had such struggle going to work full time because I thought I would be taking the time away from my time with the boys.
And here I was sitting in the hot tub with them yesterday at 3:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I thought “ how lucky am I that I get so much time with them !”
How can spending less time with them and feel like I have SO much more time with them ???
It all goes back to really thinking a thought and believing it and finding evidence for it and then living the results of it.

I imagined that it was possible for me and I went to work in my head believing it. .
And now it is true.
So what do you want to believe about you and your life ?
P.S. one way to start this is to write down a sentence of something you want as being true today. For example “I am a great mom” or “ I am a 100k earner” and then work on believing it each day. Believing is not enough if you are not willing to take action and fail. I can help with all of it, keeping you in action to make it true. I can do that but you still have to show up for yourself. .

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What is his job?

I’m going to bed. It’s just my husband and I in our first house before we had kids and we just finished watching one of the shows we love. My husband says “I’ll be right up.”
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I know what this “right up”means. It means he’s going to stay up for another hour and I will have to go to sleep on my own. This is not what I pictured a marriage to look like. We are supposed to go upstairs together, brush our teeth together, read books in bed together and then snuggle up and go to sleep together. Isn’t this what every marriage should look like?
Many years pass when I’m learning about relationships and how our spouses job is only to be there so we can love them.
My whole world changes in that moment.

What? His job is not to make me happy by going to bed at the same time as me?
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I can just let him be him and I can take care of me? .
In fact the only way I can ever be happy is by thinking thoughts that create that for me ? .
He can’t do that for me?
Why hasn’t anyone told me that before ?
I would’ve loved to know that when we got married!
Would’ve saved me years of feeling lonely and fighting !
His only job is to be there so I can love him.
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I sincerely love it when he comes to bed now later than I am. I am reminded that I have a husband and I am happy he is here. That’s all I need. Our relationship is not all perfect but that part is.
P.S. Are you thinking “but, but, but… then I won’t need anyone if that’s the case … how does that work?” It works beautifully. Imagine not needing anything from your husband and being happy to see him, how would that feel ??? Let me help you get there sooner and cheaper !

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It’s Okay to want what you want!

What if you can just be happy with what you have AND want more? And it’s okay to want more ? And you don’t need a reason or justification for wanting it. You can just want it because you want it. That’s it. Because it’s fun and you want to experience it.
Enjoy what you have AND get more of what you want .)

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You can’t feel other people’s love.

Did you know you can’t feel other people’s love?
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I know it’s crazy but also amazing!! .
Here is how it works.
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Your kid says “I love you mama” with his puppy eyes. .
You don’t feel anything until you think “aaaawe he really loves me”.
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Thinking this creates a feeling of love for you. .
I know this is the exact opposite of what we have all been taught all our life. We have been taught that others can make you happy and others can make you upset. When we believe this we are only left trying to change what others say or do. This doesn’t really work, or works but only short term, until the next time when it doesn’t.
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So I want you to consider me being right about this. .
This could be true. .
What would it mean for you if it was?
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For me it means that’s I can feel loved any time I want by thinking “they really love me”. .
I can feel appreciated by thinking “they appreciate what I do.”
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And when they say mean things like “I hate you mommy” I am the one who picks to think “ what a silly kid, he loves me!”. .
What if your thought really created your feeling for you? Regardless of what others do or say? How would your life change?
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P.S. but, but, but … I bet you have a perfect example for me where this is not true ! Bring it to me and I would love to work it through with you and see what we find out! Challenge me! And best of all your life might never be the same… message me to sign up for a free session where we can discuss all of it !!! .

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