Tag stopfighting

Unsupervised Questions

We all do this.
“Is this the right thing to do?”
”What if I’m wrong?”
”What if they are right?”
”What if it’s not worth it?”
The list goes on and on.

Ask a better question and the quality of answers will change. “If there is no right decision which one sounds more fun?”
“If we are both right, what do I want to do?”
”Why do I want to do this?”
What do you guys think about this subtle yet powerful shift?

Natalia

P.S. This is what one of my client said after working with me:
“Once I got control of my life back I felt awesome, free, lighter. It got me back to my confidence definitely, it got me back to who I really am.” So the question is not “can that be you” because it absolutely can but a better question is what do you want out of your life? What do you want to feel on the other side? It is possible for you now.

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“All families are NOBLE and TRASHY”.- Brooke Castillo


If we accept that about our family we no longer have to hide the trashy part and really make peace with it;)

we all have a bit of both, agree?


@lifecoachschool #families #trashy #embrace #hide #shame

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Brains are fascinating!


I woke up this morning from a dream where I thought that my little guy was drowning!

I pulled him out and it was over in seconds but that scared face coming out of the water WOKE me up early and I was so shaken up! Here’s what I find so interesting, I’m always so amazed how an image in my head from a dream can create such strong emotion!!!

NOTHING has happened, I was sleeping! Yet my brain thinks my son was drowning! And now I’m picturing strapping on a life jacket on him for the future to make sure he doesn’t drown!

And trying to prevent that from happening NOT because he was drowning but because I had a dream of him drowning ! So fascinating !

This is what our brain does when we are awake too- it imagines stuff and then goes to solve for that imaginary scenario, because we think it’s real! Or potentially real in the future! Or realistic!

It’s so crazy and cool to realize that none of it is real, it’s all our perception and when we think it’s real we go down the rabbit hole and believe something we don’t have to beleive. We suffer unnecessarily.

What a powerful beautiful software we have in our brain, we can use it for worry or we can use it to imagine a wonderful future for ourselves.

Both are imagining, worry is just imagining something terrible happening in the future and the other is imagining something great happening in the future.

So thanks to that dream I got yo spend extra quiet time with myself this morning, with a coffee, NOT being afraid that my son will drown. I read and watched a scholars video on money.

#brainsatefascinating


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YOU HAVE TO BECOME A DISASTER BEFORE YOU BECOME THE MASTER

 I really, really want to start a podcast!

And the reason I like the best for starting it is !

To learn and practice so that one day it can help hundreds and thousands of people.


But first I have to become a disaster at it haha I don’t think it’ll be that bad! Let’s find out !


I guess the same is true with loving yourself – we have to first see what a disaster we are at it to then become a master of it.

#podcats#patflynn#master#failure#success#loveyourself#yellingatkids#stopyelling#momoftwins#momof4#momofboys

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I AM ENOUGH

Because I am. And you are too.


And when you think you would be better with more discipline or less weight, it’s a lie.


More patient with your kids or more loving with your mom and then you are will acceptable. Not true.


You are enough already – impatient and snappy. Why?


Because it FEELS good to think “I am enough” and from that feeling – we are a lot more loving to ourselves and others, which is what we want, right?


You are enough.

#iamenough#youareenough#mom#momof4#momoftwins#yyc#acceptingyourself#talknicetoyoueself

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Confidence is knowing you will talk nice to yourself, always


Make a deal with yourself that no matter what is going on externally or internally you will talk nice to yourself through it and after it. Then do exactly that. Have your own back.

That starts now with exactly what your life looks like already, no matter how far it is from what you want it to be- don’t use it against yourself. .
Be on your side about everything.

I snapped at the twins this morning while trying to do work, and I came right back and apologized, I didn’t beat myself up for it. I said sorry and moved on.


I ate tacos with tortillas yesterday even thought I don’t really like eating bread things (IG makes me feel bloated), but I did and I moved on. I made it mean that yes I had a taco, but it doesn’t mean anything about me or my future. That is how I’m having my back every single situation in life.

And I fuck up a lot, that’s why I’m practicing this.


But what I know for sure it feels so much better to be nice to myself no matter what. And safer.


#safe #talknice #haveyourback #confidence

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BE MORE YOU

I’m working on ‘cultivating’ being me because that is what gets me the life i want by attracting people who want my help.

Yes i want to help people but i also want this for ME, helping people is FOR ME, i have fun with it, i feel good when i do it, i expand my comfort zone and skills and push myself. ALL of it is for me. 

I want you to do the same.

Because really what you and I both want is not that much different.  

We both want to feel in control of our life, to feel love, to be confident, to have FUN,  to have all the things we want in life.  

The path there is being the most US we can be. 

If I am the most ME I can be then that also means i have accepted all of my flaws, and i am loving all the great parts of me. I am USING them to create and build the life i want.

If you are the MOST YOU you can be then that means the exact same thing – showing the world ALL parts of you. 

And i don’t mean showing everyone on instagram like I do, no, it may mean coming to terms with being judgmental of your husband and no longer blaming him for how you feel. Saying to him ‘i have this thing i’m insecure about and it often comes out when i think of you, i am working on it. it has nothing to do with you, it’s all me and my work.’

Now that is super powerful, you are not beating yourself up for doing it and you are also NOT hiding it.  

It is what it is and you know you are working on it and it’s okay. 

That is what i mean when i say you love ALL of you, all of your judgements, all of the mess ups, all of it. It also means you get better at seeing all the amazing sides you. 

We often wait to get rid of our flaws to fully embrace our strengths but that only dulls them.  Embracing both is MAGIC.

Because you are not shaming yourself about judging you are so much lighter and you laugh and enjoy yourself when you feel great! nothing is holding you back! You are YOU at all times. 

So cultivate being YOU in all the ways. 

If you see me share something vulnerable do the same with yourself – share one thing you wish was different about you – even with just yourself – just so you make peace with it. 

I hear ‘love yourself’ a lot.
But here’s the specific how – take one thing you don’t like about yourself now and chose it as part of your brand, that’s what makes you YOU and that is what the world needs – your husband and kids need you EXACTLY the way you are.  THAT is the way to loving yourself.

WE need you to be MORE YOUl

DO THAT.

Natalia 

P.S.  My mom and I used to fight like crazy all our life UNTIL i did this work and changed our relationship dramatically!  So dramatically that i was able to coach her without judgement! 

Here’s what my mom says about working with me one on one: 

“Natalia helped me solve little problems in life but by doing that work I got my confidence in my life that I have always wanted. I started trusting myself, others, my work, and it’s a big deal for me. 

Natalia showed me where I was not being honest with myself. 
My relationship with myself is the most important to me.  And all the things I am able to do now are the result of that.
Natalia was the catalyst in learning to trust myself and be more confident.  I had all the knowledge and read all the books. What she gave me made it all work.”

Click here to sign up for one on one coaching with me and be MORE of YOU with me.  

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I love me anyway!

I love me anyway.
.
This is what I practiced all through out the Christmas break.
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As my brain continued to tell me how bad I am at taking care of the kids, or being in social situations, or showing love for my husband, or stuffing my face with desert. .
“I love me anyway.”
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Because, what’s the alternative? .
Agree with everything and keep beating myself up. Well that will just create more of horrible feelings and more of the same behaviour. .
So I went all in on having my own back no matter what.
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Sure I wasn’t able to do it perfectly always and I got really frustrated with myself but as soon as I remembered to love myself anyway I tried to do just that. .
And you know what, giving myself that space to be bad at things and love myself anyway felt so good. It gave me space to be ‘not good’ and not act it out on others. I was just okay with being ‘any quality’ Natalia. .
Doing this for me made it so much easier to love others when they were not at their best. I loved them anyway. .
Fail, Fail, fail. I Love me anyway. .
Happy Monday my friends!
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P.S. This is exactly what you can expect to learn and apply when you work with me on your relationships. This is THE best work ever that pays off tenfold. Trust me, it’s worth it!!! I invite you to schedule your free mini sessions with me where we get on the phone and talk about what relationship you want to work on and why. I guarantee you it will change your life. Just message me on here.

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One more thing

I have added one more thing to my morning routine and it is gratitude, and already I am seeing the world through a different lense.
This a moment from a dance party we have each night after dinner (while one of the boys does the dishes and I put away the food).
I found myself wanting to go join the party and watch the kids dance last few nights. Before I would’ve been happy they are out of the kitchen and enjoyed the peace.
Now I am so impressed with the routine we’ve made with the kids: boys doing the dishes and us enjoying 5-10 min of kids dancing and really having that release each night. How fun! We often join them.
Last night Tyler and I were in the kitchen and the party was downstairs and I told Tyler I want to go downstairs to see if papa is dancing! Because not only is it fun to watch the kids but Doug is a good dancer !
So thanks for this practice I am now being able to be more present and enjoy the family and have fun! Thanks @kalina_malina for helping me add this to my day! .

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I have SO much more time!

Breakthrough
An amazing thing has happened ! I feel now that I have more time then ever with my little twins !!! Which is incredible considering where I started.
I used to be home with them and then working part time. I took them grocery shopping with me , to their gymnastics, put them for nap and all the other million things I did as a mom ( and still do ). But back then I was so convinced that I must be with them as much as I can or it will not be enough !!!!
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I felt I didn’t have enough time for my work and for my twins!
I felt I was stuck and this was an impossible problem to solve!
I had such struggle going to work full time because I thought I would be taking the time away from my time with the boys.
And here I was sitting in the hot tub with them yesterday at 3:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I thought “ how lucky am I that I get so much time with them !”
How can spending less time with them and feel like I have SO much more time with them ???
It all goes back to really thinking a thought and believing it and finding evidence for it and then living the results of it.

I imagined that it was possible for me and I went to work in my head believing it. .
And now it is true.
So what do you want to believe about you and your life ?
P.S. one way to start this is to write down a sentence of something you want as being true today. For example “I am a great mom” or “ I am a 100k earner” and then work on believing it each day. Believing is not enough if you are not willing to take action and fail. I can help with all of it, keeping you in action to make it true. I can do that but you still have to show up for yourself. .

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