Tag stopbeatingyourselfup

Feeling good intolerance

Here’s a thought i heard today you might like: “I’m learning to trust the good in my life”.

You know when you go to check on your kids when they are sleeping and they look so amazing and beautiful that it becomes too much for you to handle,  you get scared that something will happen to them?

Your feeling of love turns into fear and loosing this fortune. 

I call this being uncomfortable with feeling good. Really. 

We are intolerant to feeling good. 

We can’t take too much of it, at some point we get very uncomfortable with feeling THAT good. 

To avoid that discomfort we have thoughts like ‘it’s irresponsible to not worry, i don’t want to brag, this is white people problems; adding complaining at the end to make us seem more normal’.

Those are the ways we bring ourselves back where it’s more comfortable: some good and some problems.

I’m definitely a believer that we can grow our capacity to have and feel good in our life. 

Practice feeling good without guilt, excuses, fear or shame. (and i do that with that sentence : “i’m learning ot trust the good in my life” and i lean in and feel the love without being afraid. just adding a second here and there)

It’s not a mystery, it’s intentional brain management. 



My job is just like the job of a fridge technician.  He comes in and adjusts the way the fridge works SO that the food doesn’t rot. We need the food to stay cold so that we can be healthy and have a great life. 
I come in and adjust the way your brain works SO that your THOUGHTS (food) don’t get rotten and make you sick.  IF we let the fridge do it’s thing without setting the thermostat and maintaining it, keeping the door closed our food will get rotten and we will get sick.

The exact same thing happens with our brain.  If we keep the door open and LET every opinion into brain well we will feel sick- sad, unsure, ashamed.
If we don’t set the temperature- which is what thoughts are acceptable to achieve the life we want – if we don’t set that then again we will get sick.

Food fuels our body. Thoughts fuel our mind, which creates our life.  Keep your food cold and manage your thoughts.  – your friendly neighbourhood life coach:) 

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Brains are fascinating!

I woke up this morning from a dream where I thought that my little guy was drowning!

I pulled him out and it was over in seconds but that scared face coming out of the water WOKE me up early and I was so shaken up! Here’s what I find so interesting, I’m always so amazed how an image in my head from a dream can create such strong emotion!!!

NOTHING has happened, I was sleeping! Yet my brain thinks my son was drowning! And now I’m picturing strapping on a life jacket on him for the future to make sure he doesn’t drown!

And trying to prevent that from happening NOT because he was drowning but because I had a dream of him drowning ! So fascinating !

This is what our brain does when we are awake too- it imagines stuff and then goes to solve for that imaginary scenario, because we think it’s real! Or potentially real in the future! Or realistic!

It’s so crazy and cool to realize that none of it is real, it’s all our perception and when we think it’s real we go down the rabbit hole and believe something we don’t have to beleive. We suffer unnecessarily.

What a powerful beautiful software we have in our brain, we can use it for worry or we can use it to imagine a wonderful future for ourselves.

Both are imagining, worry is just imagining something terrible happening in the future and the other is imagining something great happening in the future.

So thanks to that dream I got yo spend extra quiet time with myself this morning, with a coffee, NOT being afraid that my son will drown. I read and watched a scholars video on money.


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I’m working on ‘cultivating’ being me because that is what gets me the life i want by attracting people who want my help.

Yes i want to help people but i also want this for ME, helping people is FOR ME, i have fun with it, i feel good when i do it, i expand my comfort zone and skills and push myself. ALL of it is for me. 

I want you to do the same.

Because really what you and I both want is not that much different.  

We both want to feel in control of our life, to feel love, to be confident, to have FUN,  to have all the things we want in life.  

The path there is being the most US we can be. 

If I am the most ME I can be then that also means i have accepted all of my flaws, and i am loving all the great parts of me. I am USING them to create and build the life i want.

If you are the MOST YOU you can be then that means the exact same thing – showing the world ALL parts of you. 

And i don’t mean showing everyone on instagram like I do, no, it may mean coming to terms with being judgmental of your husband and no longer blaming him for how you feel. Saying to him ‘i have this thing i’m insecure about and it often comes out when i think of you, i am working on it. it has nothing to do with you, it’s all me and my work.’

Now that is super powerful, you are not beating yourself up for doing it and you are also NOT hiding it.  

It is what it is and you know you are working on it and it’s okay. 

That is what i mean when i say you love ALL of you, all of your judgements, all of the mess ups, all of it. It also means you get better at seeing all the amazing sides you. 

We often wait to get rid of our flaws to fully embrace our strengths but that only dulls them.  Embracing both is MAGIC.

Because you are not shaming yourself about judging you are so much lighter and you laugh and enjoy yourself when you feel great! nothing is holding you back! You are YOU at all times. 

So cultivate being YOU in all the ways. 

If you see me share something vulnerable do the same with yourself – share one thing you wish was different about you – even with just yourself – just so you make peace with it. 

I hear ‘love yourself’ a lot.
But here’s the specific how – take one thing you don’t like about yourself now and chose it as part of your brand, that’s what makes you YOU and that is what the world needs – your husband and kids need you EXACTLY the way you are.  THAT is the way to loving yourself.

WE need you to be MORE YOUl



P.S.  My mom and I used to fight like crazy all our life UNTIL i did this work and changed our relationship dramatically!  So dramatically that i was able to coach her without judgement! 

Here’s what my mom says about working with me one on one: 

“Natalia helped me solve little problems in life but by doing that work I got my confidence in my life that I have always wanted. I started trusting myself, others, my work, and it’s a big deal for me. 

Natalia showed me where I was not being honest with myself. 
My relationship with myself is the most important to me.  And all the things I am able to do now are the result of that.
Natalia was the catalyst in learning to trust myself and be more confident.  I had all the knowledge and read all the books. What she gave me made it all work.”

Click here to sign up for one on one coaching with me and be MORE of YOU with me.  

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Life Results

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she reminded me of all the non business related results that I’ve created in my life. 

Oh right, those. I am so focused on my business that I forgot about those. 

Here are a few:

Certainty that I can figure it out. 

Feeling connected with my husband. Moving towards him always.

Brave enough to create time for me and what I want, outside of kids and family.  Willing to feel guilty and deal with guilt and still do it. 

Enjoying my kids more than I have ever before (except for those time when I just don’t lol).  

The body that I love, that I feel proud to be in.  That one is probably one of the things I’m most proud of, that and my relationship wth my husband. 

Proud of myself for sharing my ideas with the world, feeling exposed and vulnerable and doing it anyway.

Being understanding and accepting with my mom.  Huge shift there.

My next one that I’m working on is my relationship with myself.   

I feel like all the road lead there.  So I’m standing at the doors of that final destination and figuring out what that looks like, loving myself and having my own back always. 

So far it feels a lot like hitting my head against the door and hurting and not getting anywhere. But I feel I am close.

In fact I know it is only a decision we make in each moment – how we react to ourselves. 

What non tangible results do you want for yourself?

Go get those results. Do anything necessary to get them. 

It feels amazing.

P.S.  Doubt it would work for you? That’s normal. Doubt is part of our survival instinct, it’s doing its job. Doubt doesn’t mean we are doing something wrong or we shouldn’t be doing it.  Trust me I know. I have had doubt every step of the way and here I am with a bag full of results I have always wanted. And I still have doubts every single day. It’s normal and part of the process.  So come chat with me despite your doubts, bring me your doubts.  Let’s go!
P.S.S.  here’s what my clients say: “Working with Natalia made my feel like I’m not just another number in the psychologist book.  I felt I was finally reconnecting with myself even while having anxiety.  I was able to get personal with myself.  You gave me the access key to get personal with myself and understand what is going on in my brain.”

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Let’s grab a drink after work!

How are you feeling today my friend?

I bet you have so much to tell me.  How your weekend went, how you got some stuff done, you were tired, and now the new week is here and you still have lots to get done on your xmas list, the in laws need to know this and that, and you just wish you had a break, December is already here, time is flying by, and what you also want to tell me is how anxious you feel about something coming up at work etc etc etc.

If you and I made a plan to meet up today after work for a glass of wine (or a non alcoholic beer for me), you would feel may be a sense of relief, something to look forward to. I know I would.

You would arrange for child care and know that THAT TIME IS FOR YOU.

You will get to vent, and share and laugh and relax with a good friend.

Now picture the exact same scenario but except for ME being on the other side of the table you had a piece of paper and a pen.

You could still meet yourself for a refreshing beverage and ask the hubby or whoever to pick up the kids.

YES, it does look dorky and weird but just stay with me.

How AMAZING would it feel to know that you GOT YOU????

You don’t need a friend or whoever to be available for you get to feel that way.

If they are that’s great, but SO SO SO often we are left waiting for the magical moment when everything aligns so we can pop out of our routine to feel heard and cared for with a friend.

And while waiting we carry everything around with us and feel unheard and alone.

There is no reason to wait!  I MUST share this with all of you.  

What you imagine you will feel after meeting with a friend and sharing your heart out is the feeling you CAN and in fact you always DO create for yourself, whether your friend is listening or not.

You create it by thinking “I GOT ME, I am here for me” and then acting that way. TODAY.

SO why don’t you give it a try and take yourself our of your routine, even if its just for a 15 min coffee.

Sit yourself down and tell yourself everything you would tell your friend, and listen, and ask ‘what else?’ , ‘how’s work?’, ask all the questions your friend would ask and answer them.

Tell yourself your biggest worries and fears and what’s on your mind.

“But then I won’t need any friends’ you are thinking, ‘and that’s unhealthy’.

I must tell you that when you do this for YOURSELF, you will still want to see your friends and in fact you will be able to show up as a better friend for them.

You won’t be fighting for your turn to talk! You will listen and really BE there for your friend.

Don’t worry, you will still want to see your friends and love them. But you won’t feel needy and unstable because you GOT YOU.

What if it was your job to listen to yourself whenever you need it and your friends ONLY job was to be there(or even somewhere else) so you can love them?

Happy Monday my friends! Take yourself out for a date with yourself, you will love that feeling SO much you will treasure it forever!!!


P.S. have some questions about this awkward exercise, shoot them my way I am happy to guide you through it. After all, you are worth it!!!

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What am I missing here?

What am I missing here?

As opposed to ‘what’s wrong with me?’

Notice how differently you would approach yourself and your day when you ask the first question.

This was me this morning.  I snapped at the kids.

Then I proceeded to call my husband and my friend and ask them about how THEY do it? I also got coached on that as well. All in one morning.

Yes I was frustrated, but I also admitted that I am definitely missing something and I CAN figure it out, I just have to find out what it is.

I probably did the ‘something is wrong with me’ bit for a minute but it was so quick that I can’t even remember it now.

SO, the words of wisdom are these today….

What am I missing here? 

Creates openness and space for answers.

What is your question today that you are looking to answer?

P.S. If your question is how do I make things better between me and so and so then I am the person for you.  I have worked on so many relationships in my life that whatever it is I have seen it.  You might be thinking ‘it doesn’t apply to me because my situation is different’ I challenge you to question that story.  What if it is not that different in your situation and what if you could just work with me for 6 months and enjoy the REST of your life living in what’s possible for you??? What’s the downside in trying? The only downside I see here is NOT finding out for yourself. Email me back, would love to hear from you !

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What specifically do you help with? I get this question a lot and so I decided to share that here with you.

I can help you if you:

  • Are struggling in a relationship with your kid/parent/spouse/sibling/close one.


  • You tried everything but nothing works and you are feeling sad and hopeless whenever you think about your relationship with that person.


  • You love that person so much it brings you to tears when you think about how mean you are to them.


  • You want more than anything to show love to that person but haven’t had success with it yet.


  • The way your struggle shows up for you is that you are mean to that person, whether it is subtle judgements that you don’t share with them, or it is full blown fights and yelling and everything in between.


  • Finally you suspect it has something to do with your relationship with yourself because you notice that you are also very harsh on yourself. 

I feel very passionately about helping YOU if the above describes you and what you are going through.

I invite you to email me or direct message me wherever you see this message and schedule a call with me where we can talk about what is going on for you right now and whether or not I can help you.

Love you all,


P.S.  If this resonates with you and you had the urge to email me back but decided to ‘do it later’ or ‘think about it’  i want you to notice that urge and hear it as if your kid was asking for a hug.  Would you tell your kid you will hug them later or drop everything and give them a hug now.  This is exactly what it’s like when YOU are asking yourself to do something for you.  You can either move towards yourself or tell yourself ‘you don’t matter, i’ll hug you later’.  This is your first conscious chance to HEAR yourself and give that hug.

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I trust the process of life.

Image result for heal my life
For people who are anxious a lot and feel that tense feeling in their stomach, here’s what helped me a lot back when I first started out.
I read Louise Hay’s book called “You can heal your life” and it changed my relationship with myself.
It taught me to have my own back and to be there to take care of myself.
Louise Hay work consists of finding and using affirmations to change the energy and to attract what we want in our life.
Affirmations below are the ones I used 2 years ago and I also used them a lot with my older boys when they were a bit anxious going to school and being away from home.
These are super dear to me, they have proven themselves over many times. I love these saying. They are so powerful.
Life brings me only good.
I trust the process of life. 
I am safe.
I have time and space for everything that I need and want in my life.
I love and approve of myself.
All is well.
I can take care of myself. 
Everyone loves me and I love everyone.
Have a beautiful Tuesday everyone!

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“True Belonging is Not Fitting In.” – Brené Brown


“True Belonging is not fitting in.” -Brene Brown.

I must admit that when my friend asked me to write about this quote I didn’t quite get it.
Which is now so exciting because it took me a while to think on it and really internalize the meaning.
If I was to explain it super simply I would say this:  When I tried to fit in I was agreeing with everyone and everything and now that I belong I speak what’s on my mind.
I’m not afraid of what others will think.
When I tried fitting in I was constantly scared of doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing.
By trying to fit in I felt so lost.
I felt exhausted.
I felt out of control.
Now I allow other people to be wrong about me.
I KNOW what I believe.
I have strong beliefs and I share them.
I am at peace with what I think and what others think.
That feeling of peace is the sense of belonging.
That full permission to be yourself, to say exactly what you think and assume you will be accepted.
P.S.Have you thought about what brings you peace and a sense of belonging? Or does its seem like a distant mirage that is drowned in anxiety and overwhelm? Let me help you find what yo believe in and find your sense of belonging? I promise you it is worth the work and life changing! Simply email me back and say “I’M IN!”.

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