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I’m having an identity crisis

Last night my second son asked me what I did that day (even though he was here with me the whole day lol)

I listed all the things. He said ‘what else?’

I thought.

I said ‘I cooked dinner…, hm, I cooked lunch… and HOLLY SMOKES I cooked breakfast TOO !! WHAT THE HECK!!!!”

I literally said those things out-loud and could NOT believe what I was saying with my own mouth. 

(notice how i said that I believed instead of I am  – huge difference between the two! obviously because what I thought was completely different from what I was doing) 

 I am a person who doesn’t cook so how is it possible that I cooked 3 meals that day for my whole family ???!!! (6 people – no big deal!!!)

TO be honest I was a bit furious with my own brain for doing that! 

HOW dare you keep on believing something about me that is NOT EVEN TRUE!!!

I DO EFFING COOK! —- POOF – that old story GONE. 

And yes I type in caps because that is how outraged I was at my own brain!  Also I was a bit delighted about this new discovery about myself and entertained, because it is funny I could believe that AND cook 3 meals that day !!! So good! 

If my son never asked me that question I would have kept on believing that I’m a person who DOESN’T COOK! RIDICULOUS! 

So yes i’m having an identity crisis in the kitchen and in the rest of my life as well because i’m growing into a person who is a successful business person, who makes a lot of money and TALKS NICE TO HERSELF.

SO just like I dropped my story about me not cooking, I am realizing I have to drop my story now that ‘I don’t talk nice to myself’.

Because the me who talks nice to herself  – NEVER thinks that. 

That person thinks ‘I always talk nice to myself, that’s just what I do.’

It is true that for you to become who you want to become you have to have an identity crisis and give up all of your current stories about yourself. 

What you think are facts about you are not at all facts or even true – they are simply thoughts you have practiced believing and then created a bunch of evidence to support them.  That’s it. 

Create NEW, BETTER STORIES about yourself and then practice those. 

Love you guys!

P.S. This is a great example of what happens in coaching – I ask you a question and you tell me what you do and you tell me what you believe and if the two don’t match up I show that to you.  YOU SEE IT. YOU see that you cooked 3 meals and you ALSO believe that you DON’T COOK – you brain is never the same after that.  You walk away a different, better version of yourself.  You drop the belief that is a LIE. Right there, without any convincing or trying to be ‘positive’ about it! JUST SEEING it does the job of no longer believing it.
I help you change your brain and the rest takes care of itself!!!

P.S.S. After working with me my mom was able to change her story of “I never finish anything” to “I follow through on what I have decided” and it didn’t happen overnight, she practiced it every day and created a bunch of evidence to support that new belief.  And it all started with her getting coached and seeing her thoughts and actions. 
I can help you with that as well! One on one coaching, just reply to this email now.

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This is just what happens

  • So you know how we are born, we go to school, get married, get a job, have kids. It’s a thing that we all do or try to do if we can. We may do it in a different order, skip some steps or take longer but it’s just what we do.

    So when I came across my life coach who was offering her help I ignored it completely because it’s not what we do, I didn’t know anybody who was doing it so I didn’t even hear her offer at first.

    Then when I heard some of her clients talk about their lives and what changed for them from working with her I was SOLD, I wanted some of that for me, hearing real people talk about how they could lose weight and start a business and make money, be confident- did it for me. I wanted all of those things! FOR ME!

    But at the same time I thought this is just a scam, she just wants my money, may be I’m a fool, may be I can’t do this, and I definitely don’t want to spend money on this, nobody is doing it and they will definitely think I’m such a fool for paying money for this.

    This is not what people do!

    Hiring a life coach is not part of the plan!
    But I wanted to feel confident so badly, I wanted to be doing all those things those people were doing!
    So I had to literally convince myself that I can Become confident and be just like her clients who achieved all those things.
    I will admit it took me months to convince myself To even try it.

    It wasn’t a gym membership, which is easy to share about with friends.
    It wasn’t even the same as going to a psychologist, which is more commonly done but not so commonly shared.

    This was brand new and there was a big chance of it not working.
    Doing something that nobody is doing is scary.

    But from my experience I gained my whole life by doing something that nobody is doing, I gained my confidence, my fun in life, I gained all the things I thought were impossible for me.

    I lost the safety of being liked by everyone but I can’t even remember why that mattered now.

    So I think it is so worth it to let yourself convince yourself to do something you want. Have a real conversation with yourself and negotiate.
    What do you want and what are the risks, and are you willing to work hard to get that.

    Have a real conversation with yourself and negotiate.
    What do you want and what are the risks, and are you willing to work hard to get that result no matter what.

    P.S. Now I will share with you what my client said here so watch what your brain says and be curious about why it says that, does it say “it’s not for me” or “I wish I could have that” and be curious.

    If you have been convincing yourself to do this I think you are ready, what is your one doubt that’s stopping you? I can help you overcome it so that you can also get what you like.

    P.s.s. she says: “What you told me in our first chat blew my mind.
    I never really saw things the way that you described it and I knew the awareness was there but its kind of like you helped me recall it and you put it in a logical way which I am not able to do. I’m a very emotional person and you explained it so well that it was easy to understand and it made so much sense that it changed completely the way I was in control gain, I was no longer the passenger, I was the driver. I was in control again.”

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“All families are NOBLE and TRASHY”.- Brooke Castillo

If we accept that about our family we no longer have to hide the trashy part and really make peace with it;)

we all have a bit of both, agree?

@lifecoachschool #families #trashy #embrace #hide #shame

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I’m working on ‘cultivating’ being me because that is what gets me the life i want by attracting people who want my help.

Yes i want to help people but i also want this for ME, helping people is FOR ME, i have fun with it, i feel good when i do it, i expand my comfort zone and skills and push myself. ALL of it is for me. 

I want you to do the same.

Because really what you and I both want is not that much different.  

We both want to feel in control of our life, to feel love, to be confident, to have FUN,  to have all the things we want in life.  

The path there is being the most US we can be. 

If I am the most ME I can be then that also means i have accepted all of my flaws, and i am loving all the great parts of me. I am USING them to create and build the life i want.

If you are the MOST YOU you can be then that means the exact same thing – showing the world ALL parts of you. 

And i don’t mean showing everyone on instagram like I do, no, it may mean coming to terms with being judgmental of your husband and no longer blaming him for how you feel. Saying to him ‘i have this thing i’m insecure about and it often comes out when i think of you, i am working on it. it has nothing to do with you, it’s all me and my work.’

Now that is super powerful, you are not beating yourself up for doing it and you are also NOT hiding it.  

It is what it is and you know you are working on it and it’s okay. 

That is what i mean when i say you love ALL of you, all of your judgements, all of the mess ups, all of it. It also means you get better at seeing all the amazing sides you. 

We often wait to get rid of our flaws to fully embrace our strengths but that only dulls them.  Embracing both is MAGIC.

Because you are not shaming yourself about judging you are so much lighter and you laugh and enjoy yourself when you feel great! nothing is holding you back! You are YOU at all times. 

So cultivate being YOU in all the ways. 

If you see me share something vulnerable do the same with yourself – share one thing you wish was different about you – even with just yourself – just so you make peace with it. 

I hear ‘love yourself’ a lot.
But here’s the specific how – take one thing you don’t like about yourself now and chose it as part of your brand, that’s what makes you YOU and that is what the world needs – your husband and kids need you EXACTLY the way you are.  THAT is the way to loving yourself.

WE need you to be MORE YOUl



P.S.  My mom and I used to fight like crazy all our life UNTIL i did this work and changed our relationship dramatically!  So dramatically that i was able to coach her without judgement! 

Here’s what my mom says about working with me one on one: 

“Natalia helped me solve little problems in life but by doing that work I got my confidence in my life that I have always wanted. I started trusting myself, others, my work, and it’s a big deal for me. 

Natalia showed me where I was not being honest with myself. 
My relationship with myself is the most important to me.  And all the things I am able to do now are the result of that.
Natalia was the catalyst in learning to trust myself and be more confident.  I had all the knowledge and read all the books. What she gave me made it all work.”

Click here to sign up for one on one coaching with me and be MORE of YOU with me.  

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