Tag momofboys

Confidence is knowing you will talk nice to yourself, always


Make a deal with yourself that no matter what is going on externally or internally you will talk nice to yourself through it and after it. Then do exactly that. Have your own back.

That starts now with exactly what your life looks like already, no matter how far it is from what you want it to be- don’t use it against yourself. .
Be on your side about everything.

I snapped at the twins this morning while trying to do work, and I came right back and apologized, I didn’t beat myself up for it. I said sorry and moved on.


I ate tacos with tortillas yesterday even thought I don’t really like eating bread things (IG makes me feel bloated), but I did and I moved on. I made it mean that yes I had a taco, but it doesn’t mean anything about me or my future. That is how I’m having my back every single situation in life.

And I fuck up a lot, that’s why I’m practicing this.


But what I know for sure it feels so much better to be nice to myself no matter what. And safer.


#safe #talknice #haveyourback #confidence

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Entitlement

I had a total tantrum yesterday, in my head, and then later at my husband, about the same thing.

I was so frustrated with finding and figuring out a template for my ebook!
I expected it to be easy, fast and fun!
How wrong was I!!!
It was harder for me than writing a book!!!!
I was wrong.
This wasn’t supposed to be easy or fun or fast.
I’ve never done it before and I had to spend time figuring it out.
I was wrong.
It felt so, so bad.
After all I wrote a book and I deserve to be happy and everything work smoothly because I am so amazing.
How wrong was I.
Even grown ups have tantrums and are completely wrong.
Entitlement creates suffering.
I was entitled to an easy process and I screwed myself over with it.
Next time you freak out, you can ask yourself what are you feeling entitled to? Why?
When you don’t get what you want but you think you deserve it, do you lose your shit in your head and may be act it out too? Just like a 3 year old?
It’s totally okay:)
See it for what it is.
We are allowed.
Noticing my own thinking saved me DAYS or may be even weeks of dwelling on this and complaining and not working on it.
I noticed it, acknowledged it and moved on.
Hope this helps you recognize where this shows up in your life! Have a great day!
Natalia
P.S. Thinking this doesn’t apply to you? It may not be as obvious as a 3 year old tantrum, it may look like this “I don’t have time for this!” Or “he should’ve known” or “nobody appreciates what I do” , these are all tantrums in our heads, feeling entitled to time, understanding and appreciation. And I agree that those would be lovely but when we don’t get them, being upset about it doesn’t help!  I can help you create time, understanding and appreciation for yourself, regardless of what others do! If you are even a little bit curious you must come talk to me! It will change your life!!!

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I’m a good/bad mom

According to my 3 year old you can be a good mama and a bad mama.
What a relief! Did you know about this? 😉

My 3 year old: “Mama, you’re a good mama.”

Me: “Really? Even after I yelled at your brother “
Him: “Yes, you was a bad mama when you yelled and now you are a good mama”


•love this picture from our summer, isn’t it the best when they nap on on your lap! ❤️❤️❤️

 

N

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Freedom from having to worry!

I made a decision once and gave myself freedom from ever having to worry about working out ever again. •

y husband and I have this ongoing joke about the workout that we do every week, once a week. •
It is only 15 mins long but super intense, it’s weight training, after which I feel like I just ran a half marathon! •
But because it is so short my husband has been calling it 6 min abs, referencing the episode in the movie “something about Mary”, scroll to see the clip. •
6 min abs brings me so much joy for these reasons :

I have freedom from ever thinking “I need to workout” because I don’t love going to the gym to hit the weights. •
I love having this freedom from ever worrying if I’m doing enough and when I will find time and it I should do and what class I should do and which trainer to pick and which body part to worry about ! •
Ugh ! Enough ! •
I never ever ever think these thoughts and for that reason alone I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what @evolvedhealth has to offer. •
Instead I get to think “I have exercise taken care of”

”I am getting so strong!” • “ I love my 6 min abs workout !” “ I never have to worry about working out !”
• “ I can keep up with my 4 kids !” . •
Now THAT is true freedom to me, never having to worry about my body! •
After making fun of my workouts my husband ended up joining me and now he comes home saying how hard they are! So fun! •
If you hate going got the gym but would like to be strong and fit I would highly recommend trying this out!!

P.S. if you feel that way about life, you wish you could do something and never worry about it let me introduce you to coaching, I look at coaching the same way I do at doing this exercise- I have a weekly session that sets me up for my week and I know I have my mental health covered. If you want to feel in control of your life and also make it amazing then I invite you to sign up for a free session with me to find out how I can make that happen for you.

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But it’s true!

A lot of my clients say “but it’s true!”.
So what ?
Does that mean you need to think that in your head over and over again ?
What is the upside of thinking something that is true that is also creating frustration and resentment?
None that I can see.
What does serve me here ?
The best way I like to do this is to keep noticing the difference in how I feel when I focus on the “truth” or how I feel when I see the other side of things. .
I don’t try to jump to the happy place ( I do, it just doesn’t work until I really sit with the other yucky feeling), I notice how shitty I feel when I stick to what’s “true” ( and I’m putting it in quotation marks because what we usually think is true is just our observation).

I notice that it’s my thoughts about it is what’s making me feel shitty, and not the actual thing.
The more I do it the sooner it lifts and I am free from any sort of “justice needs to be done”. Does it serve you to think that thing you are thinking?
The way you know is by how you feel.
Happy Tuesday everyone !

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100% worthy

I’m 100% worthy. 

I did not believe that.

I used to beat myself up after yelling at my son. 

I thought I must be a horrible, horrible person.

A monster. 

How can anyone be a good person when they get so angry at their kid. 

I used to be so angry at myself for yelling at them that I would snap at them more and more just by staying in that spin cycle.

Until this summer.

I embraced the impossible goal of having the best relationship with my son. 

I admitted it could be possible for me to have that. 

So I hired a relationship coach. 

3 months ago I was crying on the phone telling her “ I need to do this work because I don’t want to be this person anymore. I’m so sad.”

A few weeks ago I was telling her how a miracle has happened ( of course it was all my hard work ) and I had the best bed time routine with my son ever. 

I was looking forward to seeing him, I didn’t feel guilty or not good enough for something I have done earlier that day. 

I was feeling more love towards myself and him and finally being there on his side! Seeing life through his eyes and not getting mad at him. 

The other part of the breakthrough is that i did yell at him that day. 

The difference was what I made it mean when I yelled.

I did not make it mean that I’m a horrible person.

Instead I made it mean that that was a fluke and not at all reflective on my relationship with him.

 Not at all.

In fact our relationship is so strong and good that we can handle these fights.

(and by the way i do yell a lot less coming from the belief our relationship is solid.)

No problem .

Because you see what I realized is that when I have a good relationship with my son it doesn’t mean that I never yell at him, it means that I am not focusing on it solely.

My focus is on the rest of the 98% of my time with him that is all good and filled with good stuff. I am still a good mom.

I am still 100 % worthy.

I don’t need to beat myself up.

I can still enjoy my connection with him.

I have transformed my relationship with my son and my son did not have to change at all.

All I had to do is work on my mind.  

If you are struggling with your relationship with your child and are worried about how yelling is effecting them you can reach out to me and sign up for a free mini session where I can explain exactly how I can help. 

Natalia

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5 Downward Dogs and 5 Cobras

“I don’t want to” was the thought that kept me from doing 5 minutes of yoga each day for months now.

Until today.

Yesterday I finally asked myself what was the reason I kept on NOT doing the little tiny bit of yoga I would like to do.

That was my answer : is just that ‘I don’t want to’. I feel stiff and tired and I just don’t want to !

It was so simple and sneaky and true.

And so I kept on not doing it.

As soon as I realized it, I found it so funny and empowering.

Since when do I NOT do things because of not wanting to?

Not me. Not in the last year!

I did it this morning and my body really enjoyed that stretch and that movement.

My mind enjoyed the confidence in my own ability to do ANYTHING I want to do.

No matter how much I DON’T feel like it.

What a freedom.

I invite you to take a look at the thought that’s stopping you from taking action with something you truly want to do.

Then take action anyway because you want the result more than to feel good in that moment.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Love you all and looking forward to seeing more of you in September.

Natalia

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Take aways form Tony Robins event this week!

Hello my beautiful people!
Doug and I had the whole day together at Tony Robins event and it was great!  We listened, we learned, we laughed and we jumped. We also managed to sneak in a little coffee break at a beautiful French patisserie near by, which felt so good to sit and reflect and discuss!
Most of the lessons Tony presented I was already familiar with through my own coach, so I won’t talk about them but I will tell you what was new to me.
One concept he teaches is about 4 different classes of experiences we have in our life. Here is the picture.

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What happens when we spend a lot of time doing class 2 and 1 experiences in our life is we have a bit of an identity crisis and we freak out and we go straight back to class 3 experiences, which is where we are comfortable.
We crave familiarity and comfort and so we go back to doing things that are feel good to us in the moment but are not good for us.
That is so true as you start to grow and expand your self confidence. The freak out happens and you are right back to square one, thinking how did you get there and you are not growing at all.
That is my struggle this whole year ever since I set my impossible goal. Ever since I started coaching people, started my business.  Everything was and is going so great and it is also so scary and uncomfortable and brings up a lot of doubt and indecision for me.  If I’m not careful and I don’t do my own coaching I am right back to comfort eating and not feeling all the feels.
So if you are finding yourself going through a set back, know that it is only a set back, a ‘contraction’ as Tony calls it. It is totally normal and expected and you have to get right back to it to keep going instead of thinking you have failed.
The other concept that really spoke to me is the importance of using our body to live the life we want.
As I start to work more this year I spend more time sitting during the day which doesn’t feel good to my body so I have started including some quick walks here and there between my clients to refresh myself and when I heard Tony say ‘use your physiology” I knew exactly how that applies I my life.
Not moving feels bad and moving feels great.
Pretty obvious and yet I wasn’t thinking about it and not planning it in my day.  I am usually so active with my kids that when I’m not with them I start to feel it so much!
Now I am so excited to have that brought to my awareness because I love how I feel when I move! Its also such a great tool for pumping yourself up for whatever you want to feel that day.
I bet that is no news to you if you have been sitting all day at work and know all about how you should include some exercise in the day.
So for you here is what he says “if you don’t have energy you can’t create anything great. Energy creates energy. Movement creates energy.  So use your physiology to create positive energy to then create what you want with your life.”
Not simply ‘exercise to feel good’, but really use that as a tool to achieve all your big goals.
Alright, hope this was helpful and have a great Sunday ya’ll! I love using that ‘ya’ll’ even though I am not from the south of US, and from northern Canada, which cracks me up every time I want to write it to you all. So YA’LL, love you and see you soon!
N

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What if the it’s all rigged in OUR favour?

What if we believed that the universe is working for us?

Would we try to manipulate what others think about us?

Would we worry so much that what others think about us is true or untrue?

Would we be afraid that others think something horrible about us?

Would we change how we show up in a way that would ensure that others think great things about us?

 

What if we assumed others ALREADY think amazing things about us?

What would that be like for us?

Would we agree?

If not, why not?

If we agree then what do we get to think and feel?

“I’m amazing”.

Feel amazing!

Show up as your best self and think of giving as there’s nothing that you need from anyone.

You are whole and complete no matter what.

How fun would that be?

Try that on.

Have a beautiful Monday everyone!

 

Natalia

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What is Self-Confidence?

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It is the ability and willingness to feel any feeling.

You are self-confident if you are not afraid to feel

• fear
• failure
• embarrassment
• humiliation
• isolation

What is the worst that can happen in life?

– death
– loss
– humiliation
– divorce
– decease
– rejection
– embarrassment

 

What makes those things bad for us?

The only way they are bad for us is through our feelings about them.

When they happen we feel pain, loss, humiliation, hurt, fear.

We are afraid we will be permanently damaged if these things happen.

That is not true.

If we are willing and able to process any feeling and stay with it as long as needed we will come out stronger and more confident on the other end.

That is all that’s required of us: to be willing to feel any feeling.

When we avoid ‘life’ because we are avoiding feeling horrible we think we are doing what’s best for us.

We think we are being safe, smart by choosing what’s predictable, comfortable and familiar.

What in fact happens is we are having doubts about ourselves.

We don’t know if we can handle what happens to us.

We are not sure if we can handle losing a close one, getting divorced, going for that promotion and being rejected.

When we are having self doubt we are creating the opposite of self-confidence.

What is your opinion of yourself and is it creating self-confidence or self-doubt?

 

P.S. If you want to know more about self-confidence schedule a one on one session with me and we can uncover your current beliefs about yourself and create new ones which will create the new confident you! Email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com to schedule a time that works for you! Are you in ?

 

Natalia

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