But it's true!

But it’s true!

A lot of my clients say “but it’s true!”.
So what ?
Does that mean you need to think that in your head over and over again ?
What is the upside of thinking something that is true that is also creating frustration and resentment?
None that I can see.
What does serve me here ?
The best way I like to do this is to keep noticing the difference in how I feel when I focus on the “truth” or how I feel when I see the other side of things. .
I don’t try to jump to the happy place ( I do, it just doesn’t work until I really sit with the other yucky feeling), I notice how shitty I feel when I stick to what’s “true” ( and I’m putting it in quotation marks because what we usually think is true is just our observation).

I notice that it’s my thoughts about it is what’s making me feel shitty, and not the actual thing.
The more I do it the sooner it lifts and I am free from any sort of “justice needs to be done”. Does it serve you to think that thing you are thinking?
The way you know is by how you feel.
Happy Tuesday everyone !

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

9 years of marriage!

Dougie and I celebrated 9 years of being married in the beginning of this month! .
We always joke around and congratulate ourselves on still being married considering how many of us don’t stay married.
One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was getting up at 5:30 in the morning to have tea or coffee with him in bed. It’s not always easy, even though I do like an early start, but it is always worth it.

We chat about nothing and everything and put ourselves first before the kids and work and chores. We give each other our best energy before we ge too tired and cranky by the evening.
We both always feel the lack of it whenever we are on vacation or one of us is sick or away, and so it has been 2 years since we started this tradition and it has been a marriage saver! That and a bi weekly game of a tennis and a bite to eat.
So my happy thoughts are “I love Dougie”.

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is just a thought.

“This is just a thought.”

Today at the school pick up I saw my friend, gave her a hug and she asked me how I am. “Shitty” I said and laughed.
I was so delighted by my own happiness about feeling shitty that I surprised myself.
How can I feel shitty and happy at the same time?
So simple.
I felt bad all day, but I kept on saying to myself ‘this is just a thought’ to whatever my mind was telling me.
Whether it was ‘everything sucks’, ‘I’m so tired’, ‘I’m a bad coach’, ‘what if I’m doing it wrong’ – my answer to all those was ‘this is just a thought, you don’t have to believe it’.
I did not go down the rabbit hole and believe these “truths”.
What a relief. Life is supposed to be 50% great and 50% shitty and so I wasn’t fighting the bad part.
I just allowed it to be there and recognized what was creating it for me.
Can you imagine yourself a bad day that actually kinda feels good?
That doesn’t add up, does it?
But there is some peace to it.  I felt bad because I was thinking thoughts that made me feel bad. That’s it. Not the end of the world.
What thoughts are you believing but wish you wouldn’t? comment below!
N

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I say this a lot.

I’m sorry, you are right 

I say this a lot.

 I used to have a really hard time apologizing.  

I used to fight, avoid and blame.  

My fights would drag out into hours and sometimes days. 

I didn’t know how to do it better.

My mentor Brooke Castillo taught me to always agree with whatever I’m being accused of. 

And not in a fake way, not in a way to just diffuse the fight but still keep believing I’m right.

In a way where I can truly find the truth in what the other person is saying. 

Even if it’s 1% true.  

I agree with them. 

“You are right, I wasn’t thinking of you at all. I’m sorry.”

“It’s true, I did do that thing. I’m sorry.”

I don’t go into explaining what my true intentions were, I don’t justify it to them, I don’t make excuses.  

Not of that serves me. 

By making excuses I create more distance between me and that person. 

I own everything that I’m accused of and if I can’t see get there in that moment then I take my time TO see it, to find the ounce of truth in it.  

Sometimes it takes me a minute or a day.  

It is always worth it.  

It gives me so much peace to AGREE with them.

And when I sincerely apologize for whatever I’ve done I create connection and make my relationship stronger with that person. 

I have saved so much time by not fighting and dwelling in who’s right and who’s wrong.  

Just by finding the truth in what they say I have created so much trust and growth and connection with people in my life. 

And peace!

Try it my friends. 

There is no upside defending your position. 

Own your shit and notice how much time you save and how connected you feel to the people in your life ! 

 

N

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

100% worthy

I’m 100% worthy. 

I did not believe that.

I used to beat myself up after yelling at my son. 

I thought I must be a horrible, horrible person.

A monster. 

How can anyone be a good person when they get so angry at their kid. 

I used to be so angry at myself for yelling at them that I would snap at them more and more just by staying in that spin cycle.

Until this summer.

I embraced the impossible goal of having the best relationship with my son. 

I admitted it could be possible for me to have that. 

So I hired a relationship coach. 

3 months ago I was crying on the phone telling her “ I need to do this work because I don’t want to be this person anymore. I’m so sad.”

A few weeks ago I was telling her how a miracle has happened ( of course it was all my hard work ) and I had the best bed time routine with my son ever. 

I was looking forward to seeing him, I didn’t feel guilty or not good enough for something I have done earlier that day. 

I was feeling more love towards myself and him and finally being there on his side! Seeing life through his eyes and not getting mad at him. 

The other part of the breakthrough is that i did yell at him that day. 

The difference was what I made it mean when I yelled.

I did not make it mean that I’m a horrible person.

Instead I made it mean that that was a fluke and not at all reflective on my relationship with him.

 Not at all.

In fact our relationship is so strong and good that we can handle these fights.

(and by the way i do yell a lot less coming from the belief our relationship is solid.)

No problem .

Because you see what I realized is that when I have a good relationship with my son it doesn’t mean that I never yell at him, it means that I am not focusing on it solely.

My focus is on the rest of the 98% of my time with him that is all good and filled with good stuff. I am still a good mom.

I am still 100 % worthy.

I don’t need to beat myself up.

I can still enjoy my connection with him.

I have transformed my relationship with my son and my son did not have to change at all.

All I had to do is work on my mind.  

If you are struggling with your relationship with your child and are worried about how yelling is effecting them you can reach out to me and sign up for a free mini session where I can explain exactly how I can help. 

Natalia

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Downward Dogs and 5 Cobras

“I don’t want to” was the thought that kept me from doing 5 minutes of yoga each day for months now.

Until today.

Yesterday I finally asked myself what was the reason I kept on NOT doing the little tiny bit of yoga I would like to do.

That was my answer : is just that ‘I don’t want to’. I feel stiff and tired and I just don’t want to !

It was so simple and sneaky and true.

And so I kept on not doing it.

As soon as I realized it, I found it so funny and empowering.

Since when do I NOT do things because of not wanting to?

Not me. Not in the last year!

I did it this morning and my body really enjoyed that stretch and that movement.

My mind enjoyed the confidence in my own ability to do ANYTHING I want to do.

No matter how much I DON’T feel like it.

What a freedom.

I invite you to take a look at the thought that’s stopping you from taking action with something you truly want to do.

Then take action anyway because you want the result more than to feel good in that moment.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Love you all and looking forward to seeing more of you in September.

Natalia

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Your Future Self

Gifts to Your future self!

I just finished writing a handout for September for my clients and I am SUPER pumped!

You know that feeling when you realize something you really, really want is POSSIBLE? That is the feeling I feel now.

Amazing!

What do you wish for yourself?

What have you wanted for yourself for years and have not been able to do until now?

Look at that thing now and imagine that it has already happened 3,5, 10 years from now.

Now go deeper and imagine all the details of that and how you got there, what your life looks like now that it’s real.

What do you do each day?

Where do you go?

Where is your family?

All the things.

That’s it.  Check your feeling that you have when you imagine it to make sure it is the best feeling you can imagine and not the one of ‘it will never happen’, but of true possibility.

Now do that every day and ACT from that feeling SO that you can create that life you want. Those are the gifts you do for your Future self.

That is how I started my business, helped so many people in a few months, lost 20 lbs, stopped drinking wine and am having such a better relationship with myself every day.

IF you are curious to find out exactly how to apply this in your every day life I would be happy to have a chat and help, just reply back to this email.

Talk to you all next week !!!

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 year today!

A year ago today I started my blog!!!! Wha?!!! Whaaaaaa!
I am sitting in the rental minivan and the twins are in the back literally snoring while napping.
It’s our last day at the cottage with my brother, his wife and 3 kids and my parents. It has been such a good week, couldn’t wish for anything better!
I have a lot of thoughts swirling in my head but the main one that keeps coming back is the I am just proud of myself for sticking it out this year and doing exactly what I said I would do.
When I started the blog I said to myself, if I can commit to writing each week and then actually write each week – I can do anything.
Guess what! I did and I can!!!
Not only do I have a years worth of content up, but I have also helped 17 people this year, I have contributed to my family income and grew my own self confidence in a way that is so exciting to me!!!
So thanks for sticking with me this year.
I have enjoyed writing for you all and the process of writing and following through on my commitments to myself.
I have enjoyed getting feedback from all of you and am looking forward to the next year.
I hope your summer is just as lively and lovely as ours is. I can’t wait to see you all soon.
Natalia

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bad Moments.

Bad Moments.

What if you didn’t add the “bad” to the moments.
I had a bad fight with my son.
I think it’s bad.
Then I make it mean ‘I’m making our relationship bad’.
Later that night when I’m putting him to bed I keep thinking about how I was mean to him and how I should be better and how it’s not as good as it can be.
But what if I just drop the ‘bad’ part and see it as just a moment.  Then I don’t make it mean that it’s effecting the relationship in any way and my relationship with him is just as good as always.
Then come bed time and I am snuggling with him, talking, kissing him, enjoying his company, loving him – in other words present and actually having and see our good relationship.
You guys see the difference?
I do now as well.
That is the beauty of dropping the self judgement, or judgement of what you did.
What if life is full of moments and you get to enjoy the good ones despite the bad ones (even if you are tempted to beat yourself up for the ‘bad’ ones).
Have a great weekend every!
I am so pumped to fly to Toronto tomorrow with my crew!
A whole week with my brother and his family and my parents at a cottage on a lake!
Now that is deff going to be a great moment:) mixed in with a few whinny kid moments.
I can handle it.

Tags, , , , , , , ,

Take aways form Tony Robins event this week!

Hello my beautiful people!
Doug and I had the whole day together at Tony Robins event and it was great!  We listened, we learned, we laughed and we jumped. We also managed to sneak in a little coffee break at a beautiful French patisserie near by, which felt so good to sit and reflect and discuss!
Most of the lessons Tony presented I was already familiar with through my own coach, so I won’t talk about them but I will tell you what was new to me.
One concept he teaches is about 4 different classes of experiences we have in our life. Here is the picture.

IMG_4056

What happens when we spend a lot of time doing class 2 and 1 experiences in our life is we have a bit of an identity crisis and we freak out and we go straight back to class 3 experiences, which is where we are comfortable.
We crave familiarity and comfort and so we go back to doing things that are feel good to us in the moment but are not good for us.
That is so true as you start to grow and expand your self confidence. The freak out happens and you are right back to square one, thinking how did you get there and you are not growing at all.
That is my struggle this whole year ever since I set my impossible goal. Ever since I started coaching people, started my business.  Everything was and is going so great and it is also so scary and uncomfortable and brings up a lot of doubt and indecision for me.  If I’m not careful and I don’t do my own coaching I am right back to comfort eating and not feeling all the feels.
So if you are finding yourself going through a set back, know that it is only a set back, a ‘contraction’ as Tony calls it. It is totally normal and expected and you have to get right back to it to keep going instead of thinking you have failed.
The other concept that really spoke to me is the importance of using our body to live the life we want.
As I start to work more this year I spend more time sitting during the day which doesn’t feel good to my body so I have started including some quick walks here and there between my clients to refresh myself and when I heard Tony say ‘use your physiology” I knew exactly how that applies I my life.
Not moving feels bad and moving feels great.
Pretty obvious and yet I wasn’t thinking about it and not planning it in my day.  I am usually so active with my kids that when I’m not with them I start to feel it so much!
Now I am so excited to have that brought to my awareness because I love how I feel when I move! Its also such a great tool for pumping yourself up for whatever you want to feel that day.
I bet that is no news to you if you have been sitting all day at work and know all about how you should include some exercise in the day.
So for you here is what he says “if you don’t have energy you can’t create anything great. Energy creates energy. Movement creates energy.  So use your physiology to create positive energy to then create what you want with your life.”
Not simply ‘exercise to feel good’, but really use that as a tool to achieve all your big goals.
Alright, hope this was helpful and have a great Sunday ya’ll! I love using that ‘ya’ll’ even though I am not from the south of US, and from northern Canada, which cracks me up every time I want to write it to you all. So YA’LL, love you and see you soon!
N

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,