BE MORE YOU

BE MORE YOU

I’m working on ‘cultivating’ being me because that is what gets me the life i want by attracting people who want my help.

Yes i want to help people but i also want this for ME, helping people is FOR ME, i have fun with it, i feel good when i do it, i expand my comfort zone and skills and push myself. ALL of it is for me. 

I want you to do the same.

Because really what you and I both want is not that much different.  

We both want to feel in control of our life, to feel love, to be confident, to have FUN,  to have all the things we want in life.  

The path there is being the most US we can be. 

If I am the most ME I can be then that also means i have accepted all of my flaws, and i am loving all the great parts of me. I am USING them to create and build the life i want.

If you are the MOST YOU you can be then that means the exact same thing – showing the world ALL parts of you. 

And i don’t mean showing everyone on instagram like I do, no, it may mean coming to terms with being judgmental of your husband and no longer blaming him for how you feel. Saying to him ‘i have this thing i’m insecure about and it often comes out when i think of you, i am working on it. it has nothing to do with you, it’s all me and my work.’

Now that is super powerful, you are not beating yourself up for doing it and you are also NOT hiding it.  

It is what it is and you know you are working on it and it’s okay. 

That is what i mean when i say you love ALL of you, all of your judgements, all of the mess ups, all of it. It also means you get better at seeing all the amazing sides you. 

We often wait to get rid of our flaws to fully embrace our strengths but that only dulls them.  Embracing both is MAGIC.

Because you are not shaming yourself about judging you are so much lighter and you laugh and enjoy yourself when you feel great! nothing is holding you back! You are YOU at all times. 

So cultivate being YOU in all the ways. 

If you see me share something vulnerable do the same with yourself – share one thing you wish was different about you – even with just yourself – just so you make peace with it. 

I hear ‘love yourself’ a lot.
But here’s the specific how – take one thing you don’t like about yourself now and chose it as part of your brand, that’s what makes you YOU and that is what the world needs – your husband and kids need you EXACTLY the way you are.  THAT is the way to loving yourself.

WE need you to be MORE YOUl

DO THAT.

Natalia 

P.S.  My mom and I used to fight like crazy all our life UNTIL i did this work and changed our relationship dramatically!  So dramatically that i was able to coach her without judgement! 

Here’s what my mom says about working with me one on one: 

“Natalia helped me solve little problems in life but by doing that work I got my confidence in my life that I have always wanted. I started trusting myself, others, my work, and it’s a big deal for me. 

Natalia showed me where I was not being honest with myself. 
My relationship with myself is the most important to me.  And all the things I am able to do now are the result of that.
Natalia was the catalyst in learning to trust myself and be more confident.  I had all the knowledge and read all the books. What she gave me made it all work.”

Click here to sign up for one on one coaching with me and be MORE of YOU with me.  

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Life Results

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she reminded me of all the non business related results that I’ve created in my life. 

Oh right, those. I am so focused on my business that I forgot about those. 

Here are a few:

Certainty that I can figure it out. 

Feeling connected with my husband. Moving towards him always.

Brave enough to create time for me and what I want, outside of kids and family.  Willing to feel guilty and deal with guilt and still do it. 

Enjoying my kids more than I have ever before (except for those time when I just don’t lol).  

The body that I love, that I feel proud to be in.  That one is probably one of the things I’m most proud of, that and my relationship wth my husband. 

Proud of myself for sharing my ideas with the world, feeling exposed and vulnerable and doing it anyway.

Being understanding and accepting with my mom.  Huge shift there.

My next one that I’m working on is my relationship with myself.   

I feel like all the road lead there.  So I’m standing at the doors of that final destination and figuring out what that looks like, loving myself and having my own back always. 

So far it feels a lot like hitting my head against the door and hurting and not getting anywhere. But I feel I am close.

In fact I know it is only a decision we make in each moment – how we react to ourselves. 

What non tangible results do you want for yourself?

Go get those results. Do anything necessary to get them. 

It feels amazing.

P.S.  Doubt it would work for you? That’s normal. Doubt is part of our survival instinct, it’s doing its job. Doubt doesn’t mean we are doing something wrong or we shouldn’t be doing it.  Trust me I know. I have had doubt every step of the way and here I am with a bag full of results I have always wanted. And I still have doubts every single day. It’s normal and part of the process.  So come chat with me despite your doubts, bring me your doubts.  Let’s go!
P.S.S.  here’s what my clients say: “Working with Natalia made my feel like I’m not just another number in the psychologist book.  I felt I was finally reconnecting with myself even while having anxiety.  I was able to get personal with myself.  You gave me the access key to get personal with myself and understand what is going on in my brain.”

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Falling off of ripstik, failing in life

I did a thing this weekend.  I learned how to ride a ripstik. 


What is it? It’s like a skateboard but only with 2 wheels, one at the back, one at the front. (I’ll post a video on IG so proud!)

As I watched my oldest son try and fail, try and fail, try, try, try, fail and get slightly better each time I really wanted to try. 

So I did.  It was scary.

What was soooo interesting to me was to watch my own reaction. My first attempt I was so scared to fall. I couldn’t even get up on it. 

After that I didn’t want to try again.  My brain just told me I can’t do it. It’s for the kids. It’s not for adults.  I’m too big, I won’t be able to do it.  Don’t worry about it. You’re a mama, your job is to make sure kids are safe. Why are you bothering me with that stuff?!

But I DID want to ride it. I DID.  What my brain was offering me was just a way out because I was scared. 

What I have learned from starting a business is that what it takes to be successful in business is willingness to FAIL.  If I am willing to fail unlimited amount of times then I will eventually succeed.  That’s it.

And I think it applies to everything in our life. What do we want? Well to get that we just have to be willing to FAIL infinity times to get it. 

Here’s what I have learned: is that I was so resistant and scared of falling that I almost didn’t try at all. ALSO after my FIRST failure I almost didn’t try at all. ONLY 1 FAIL and I was never going to try again. 

We as adults are so afraid to fail, be embarrassed, humiliated, FALL down, get hurt, etc, etc.  We avoid that at all cost.

Unless of course we are onto ourselves and we keep trying and KNOW that failing IS what it takes to get there. 

I watched my son go at it again and again, falling, getting hurt and trying again. Stealing every free moment he has to attempt it again.  Failing was fun to him! He didn’t think of it as failing.  He thought of it as getting a little better each time and doing a wheelie ( life one wheel up). 

So fail on purpose and fail often.  Fail more than once.  Try and try again. Think of the fun trick you will make once you get it. Think of the fun.

If you are working on being nice to yourself and find yourself talking nasty to yourself again, great you are failing, great – you are actually attempting something again.  Choose to not beat yourself up over it and choose to just try again.  

Go do what you want to do and fail as many times as necessary.  Get hurt, physically and emotionally, be embarrassed, feel sad.  Great work. Do it again. 

Natalia 

P.S.  This is where a skill set of a coach is very useful.  You will fail and you will want to quit.  Your brain will offer you a million reasons to stop trying.  And if you are not surrounded by people who are attempting the same thing you will believe it and quit.  All a coach does is not let the person quit on themselves, no matter what a brain tells them. Not holding you accountable but helping you understand how your brain works and that it takes 100 fails to get there.  You are doing it right. I work one on one with my clients so when you are ready this work is here for you. 
P.S.S. is what one of my clients(mom of 2) says: “For anyone who is on the fence about doing this work I would say that for me it was definitely the key help, so it does work. 
And it does change you, it doesn’t just help you it changes you in a positive way.
You are not just resolving whatever problem you have you are actually get a new key to open up the door you couldn’t open before so you can actually achieve even more. So it is worth it, it’s really worth it.   Everybody should know the stuff that you have to share.”

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How to NOT kill your family during quarantine

HOW to NOT kill your family during quarantine?

First we have to understand that the only reason we would want to kill our family is because we believe that they are the reason we are angry and frustrated.

IF we believe they are the source of our suffering then of course we would want to eliminated that source.

But the truth is your family is never the source of your suffering.

The actual source of your suffering is what you are thinking ABOUT your family.

IF we could touch that source it would look like words on paper.

Those words on paper are what lies between your family and your frustration.

They are what is making you want to kill them. Not your family.

So how do you NOT kill your family during a quarantine?

You simply recognize that they are not to blame for how you are feeling.

And I’m not suggesting you blame yourself for your thoughts.

That would not be useful.

You simple take your responsibility back for how you feel every time you feel frustrated.

Give credit back to your thought and not to your family.

You can’t control your family but you can choose your thoughts.

Natalia

P.S. Think of me as a specialist of thoughts. I am an expert in recognizing them and figuring out when they are useful or not. I am also trained in showing you your thoughts without any judgment. I don’t know what’s best for you. Only you know and I am here to show you what you are thinking so you can take that awareness and choose thoughts that serve you best. I am that outside observer that is essential in showing you what you are thinking because we can’t do that level of work on our own brain, because we are IN our brain. WE need outside help. That is the reason why I get coached, i am a human with a human brain. I need someone else to show me what they see and what I can’t see with my own brain. This is what I am offering to you so email me back when you are ready to take a look at what’s in your brain!

One person who doesn’t take your excuses

“I don’t know”

“It’s so confusing” 

“There are so many options”

I want to suggest you do know!

You know exactly what you want and what you don’t want.

You just don’t want to take action on it because you are afraid.

You are either afraid of what will happen if you take action or it will be worse if you don’t change anything. 

So if you are going through that with people pleasing or saying yes to things you actually don’t want to be doing then the best you can do for yourself is tell yourself the truth: “I do know what I want, I am just not willing to get it for myself.” 

Doesn’t that feel a lot better than feeling victimy and helpless that comes from ‘i don’t know what to do’.  

Don’t take that crap from your brain.  You do know. 

Natalia

P.S. Having a coach is having that one person in your life who won’t take any of your excuses.  If you are ready for some hard coaching then I am here to do that for you, simply email me back. 

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“I’m right on track.”

It’s true this doesn’t come naturally to me but I do remind myself that I am not behind on where I should be in life.
I am exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing, right on time.
A big sigh of relief! Nowhere to rush, all is going well.
Press the reset button and keep on going with your daily jobs, kids, chores.
Feel the difference of your behind the scenes as you try on this thought?
You ARE right on track in your life.
Stay here for just a moment!

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AND IT’S OKAY.

Here’s a fun thing to try on this weekend.

Whenever you catch yourself sharing or complaining or straight out stating a problem – add. “AND IT’S OKAY” at the end.
Just try it on for fun.
I am tired. And it’s okay.
It’s been such a long week. And it’s okay.
I’m single parenting this weekend. And it’s okay.
They are fighting again. And it’s okay.
They don’t like me. And it’s okay.
I’m not suggesting you actually be okay with all those things.
You can keep being not okay with them.
I just want to show you that you do have an option of making that subtle change of feeling for yourself without actually changing your life.
I know for sure that when you need it and use it will give us a sigh of relief.
This is the truth of my life right now AND IT’S OKAY. 
Have a wonderful weekend!
Love you all!
And yes I am single parenting this weekend, and it’s okay!!!
N

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I love me anyway!

I love me anyway.
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This is what I practiced all through out the Christmas break.
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As my brain continued to tell me how bad I am at taking care of the kids, or being in social situations, or showing love for my husband, or stuffing my face with desert. .
“I love me anyway.”
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Because, what’s the alternative? .
Agree with everything and keep beating myself up. Well that will just create more of horrible feelings and more of the same behaviour. .
So I went all in on having my own back no matter what.
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Sure I wasn’t able to do it perfectly always and I got really frustrated with myself but as soon as I remembered to love myself anyway I tried to do just that. .
And you know what, giving myself that space to be bad at things and love myself anyway felt so good. It gave me space to be ‘not good’ and not act it out on others. I was just okay with being ‘any quality’ Natalia. .
Doing this for me made it so much easier to love others when they were not at their best. I loved them anyway. .
Fail, Fail, fail. I Love me anyway. .
Happy Monday my friends!
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P.S. This is exactly what you can expect to learn and apply when you work with me on your relationships. This is THE best work ever that pays off tenfold. Trust me, it’s worth it!!! I invite you to schedule your free mini sessions with me where we get on the phone and talk about what relationship you want to work on and why. I guarantee you it will change your life. Just message me on here.

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One more thing

I have added one more thing to my morning routine and it is gratitude, and already I am seeing the world through a different lense.
This a moment from a dance party we have each night after dinner (while one of the boys does the dishes and I put away the food).
I found myself wanting to go join the party and watch the kids dance last few nights. Before I would’ve been happy they are out of the kitchen and enjoyed the peace.
Now I am so impressed with the routine we’ve made with the kids: boys doing the dishes and us enjoying 5-10 min of kids dancing and really having that release each night. How fun! We often join them.
Last night Tyler and I were in the kitchen and the party was downstairs and I told Tyler I want to go downstairs to see if papa is dancing! Because not only is it fun to watch the kids but Doug is a good dancer !
So thanks for this practice I am now being able to be more present and enjoy the family and have fun! Thanks @kalina_malina for helping me add this to my day! .

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I have SO much more time!

Breakthrough
An amazing thing has happened ! I feel now that I have more time then ever with my little twins !!! Which is incredible considering where I started.
I used to be home with them and then working part time. I took them grocery shopping with me , to their gymnastics, put them for nap and all the other million things I did as a mom ( and still do ). But back then I was so convinced that I must be with them as much as I can or it will not be enough !!!!
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I felt I didn’t have enough time for my work and for my twins!
I felt I was stuck and this was an impossible problem to solve!
I had such struggle going to work full time because I thought I would be taking the time away from my time with the boys.
And here I was sitting in the hot tub with them yesterday at 3:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I thought “ how lucky am I that I get so much time with them !”
How can spending less time with them and feel like I have SO much more time with them ???
It all goes back to really thinking a thought and believing it and finding evidence for it and then living the results of it.

I imagined that it was possible for me and I went to work in my head believing it. .
And now it is true.
So what do you want to believe about you and your life ?
P.S. one way to start this is to write down a sentence of something you want as being true today. For example “I am a great mom” or “ I am a 100k earner” and then work on believing it each day. Believing is not enough if you are not willing to take action and fail. I can help with all of it, keeping you in action to make it true. I can do that but you still have to show up for yourself. .

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