My Story

My Story

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It all started 6 years ago
 
I was brushing my toddler’s teeth while my husband rocked our 5 month old baby to sleep.  
 
It had been a long day, and a few long sleepless months.  
 
I had not yet learned to manage my feelings, nor get my 2 year old to follow my directions.  
 
Long story short, I lost my temper on my 2 year old because he wouldn’t cooperate with me.  
 
It was not the first time I yelled at my kids, but it was the first time I really scared myself.  
 
I did not want to be some out of control monster, visiting every time my kids wouldn’t listen.  
 
I felt cornered, defeated, hopeless and hurt.
 
My husband heard my outburst and came to check on me.  
 
He took over with the kids.  
 
I went straight upstairs and called a psychologist.  
 
I had been considering getting help with my anxiety in the past.  
 
It seemed as though the time had now come.   
 
That is where my journey began.  
 
Over the next few years, I spent dozens of sessions with the psychologist.  
 
I began to understand what was going on inside mewhat was causing my anxiety, my angry outburstsand the cause of my overwhelm.  
 
I learned some coping strategies, how to get perspective, and how to set boundaries.  
 
I had a start.
 
Fast forward 3 years
 
My two boys had become four with the arrival of newborn twin boys.  Four boys under 5.  True wealth I tell ya!  While the boys were healthy, beautiful and full of energy I was quickly loosing all of mine.  
 
The pressure was high to feel better, to refill my tank, to do some selfcare to meet my own needs.
 
My problem was that I had no idea how to do that, or even where to begin.  
 
I had no clue what I wanted, and the things I thought I wanted never seemed to make me feel better at all.  
 
This inability to meet my own needs and process my emotions was only compounding my frustration.  
 
I wanted to make myself happy but didn’t know how.  
 
I wanted to stop yelling at my kids for just being kids.  
 
I did not have the tools to stop myself from taking my frustration out on them; to stop blaming them for my feelings.  
 
I could not live like that any longer.  
 
I had to dig deep and believe I could be better for myself, and I am so grateful I did.  
 
I have found all the answers I needed, and even the ones I didn’t know I was looking for.
 
On my journey to yell free parenting I found a life coach who taught me that our thoughts create our feelings.
 
I learned how to create the life I want by managing my mind.  
 
As a bonus I have also learned to stop all my emotional eating and drinking.  
 
I have learned to process my emotions without avoiding them through food, tv or social media and the like. 
 
As a result I can now maintain my normal body weight effortlessly. ( I have lost 18 lbs in the last year).  
 
I have been able to connect with my husband and my children in a way I have always wanted, despite our differences.
 
I have improved my relationship with my mom to a point where we never fight and I truly enjoy her company.  
 
have learned to manage my anxiety and eliminate my overwhelm.  
 
I have mastered time management, and have proven to myself I can truly do anything I set my mind to.
 
The thing I am most proud of is how I have improved my relationship with myself, and stopped yelling at my kids as a result. 
 
Out of my struggle came a desire to help other moms who are struggling with their own yelling and frustration.
 
I love coaching women who believe there is a better version of themselves waiting for them.  
 
I fully believe we are all 100 % worthy of love and self approval.
 
We can evolve into the version of ourselves that brings us the most joy.  
 
The version of ourselves we purposely decide to live.
 
I am an entrepreneur who coaches moms be their best self; for themselves and their kids.   
 
 

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Why I Choose Not to Drink Wine.

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I used to love wine at the end of the day.

Now I never even think about it.

2 posts ago I shared with you my food life style and what I don’t eat and a big part of that is not drinking any alcohol. 

I must tell you guys – it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life!!!

I was not an alcoholic by any means.

But I did use wine as a crutch.

Whenever I would have a crazy day or the kids were being too loud or its the weekend or a holiday or whatever – I was used to having some wine.

And there came a point in my life where I was not wanting the wine but I was more needing the wine to escape what was happening, mainly my own frustration.

Through all the work with my own coach I have learned to look at alcohol the same way I look at drugs or smoking – and that is ‘No, thank you”.

Why should alcohol be any different?

The big difference is that alcohol is socially acceptable and even encouraged in certain situations (celebrations, weekends, vacations).

To that i think: I don’t smoke or do drugs just because it’s the weekend or a holiday or I’m in Mexico, so why should I drink and feel horrible?   

No, thank you!

This has set me so free!

This one decision, applied every day makes me feel so amazing, so in control, so free.

I feel fantastic knowing I can choose to not drink and not drink.

I can also choose to have a glass of wine and I do do that once in a blue moon mainly to remind myself that if I want to drink that is always the option, but I am the one in control and I actually don’t want to do that at all.

I am not afraid of having a glass of wine. I’m not afraid that if I do have some wine then i will slide back into the weekly routine of having a wine when the kids are irritating me.

I’m not afraid of that at all.

It feels so freeing not to want it when I feel stressed and also not to THINK about it.

Before I made the decision not to have it, I used to think about it a lot.

“Will I have a glass tonight”

“do I want to, I don’t want to”

“but everyone else will be having one”

“what will they think?”

“may be I should, what’s the big deal”

On and on and on the chatter would go.

Mainly because I was not living the life I wanted to live.

Meaning – I did not want my kids seeing me drink wine with dinner every night.

I was not being the example I wanted to set for my kids.

I was not living the life I wanted to live by escaping it.

The internal conflict was creating a constant brain chatter about wine which was exhausting.

To sum it up, I don’t drink alcohol. I believe I add so much more to my life by not having it. 

I believe having it robs me of my life, robs me of the motivation I need to create the life I want. 

Here’s a cheers (with a glass full of grapefruit Perrier, a lemon slice and some ice) to the life you can create without escaping the life that you have now.

It is worth all the work.

Cheers!

Natalia

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Save Time by Meal Planning with the one and only Andrea Mele at BusyMomNutrition!

 

I’m so excited to share with you all my conversation with Andrea Mele, my very good friend and a nutrition coach at Busy Mom Nutrition!

Click on the link above to listen to the whole conversation or read the summary of what she teaches below!

A lot of you have expressed to me your struggle with lack of time and I heard you all and I am on a mission to provide you with all the information you need to be in full control of your time and have the time you want for things that you truly want to do in your life.

Andrea has a great program she developed to help busy moms like myself to eliminate any stress that comes with food and feeding our families.

One of the best tools she has taught me is to meal plan every week.

It saves me time and headache when i think of my week and the dinner plans.

So here is what she recommends:

  1. Take a look at your upcoming week and note all the activities you have going on.
  2. Make a meal plan for that week accommodating those activities. for example:
    • Tuesday kids have swimming – eat at the cafe at the gym.
    • Friday night is date night so kids will have pizza and we are going out.
    • Saturday night dinner at friends house, no need to cook
    • Cook – Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. Choose the recipes for those nights.
  3. Make a grocery list based on that meal plan.
  4. Commit to meal planning and grocery shopping on the same day each week.
    • ( Plan on Thursdays, grocery shop on Fridays)
  5. Commit to meal prepping for 2 hours each weekend. Take care of your future self!
  6. Check your freezer for any protein you want to use first before adding items to your grocery list.

The benefits pay off right away.

By planning you save time by:

  • freeing yourself from stressing about diner each day
  • not running to the store every day during the week
  • by prepping on the weekend for the week you save time during the week when a lot of your food has been prepped or cooked already

I love this approach because of the time it saves me but i also know that a lot of people seek Andreas help because it helps them make better choices for their family, in terms of nutrition.

Sure it seems to be a lot of work and i would have to say that yes it is work but it is work WORTH doing so that you can reap the benefits for yourself in the future.

I always say that i take care of my future self by planning ahead.

Love that concept and love that Andrea has a step by step process on exactly how you can implement it in your life!

If you are interested in learning more about Andrea and what she does you can check out her website at www.busymomnutrition.ca.

Have a fantastic Sunday everyone and may be…  make a plan!

 

Natalia

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How I lost my last 17 lbs!

Hey guys !

You have asked me to write something on the BODY image and so I want to share with you how I lost my last 17 pounds!!!!

After all we often think we should ‘lose weight’ or change our body in some way when we think of how our body looks.

A year after having all my kids, I plateaued at around 10 pounds over my normal body weight.  Or so I thought was my normal body weight.

So here’s a short version of how I lost my last 17 pounds:

1. Don’t overeat.  (Super easy)

2. Feel all the negative feelings when I don’t overeat. (Super hard)

That’s it.  It is extremely simple and also hard at the same time.

It actually used to be hard at first and now its so almost effortless.

So now let me tell you the long version of the same story.

The reason I overate was because I was feeling anxious, bored, overwhelmed, nervous, you name it and I would be eating because of it, to avoid it.

Of course I wasn’t aware of that at the time, not consciously at least.

By doing this work I learned a lot about emotional eating and what it takes to stop overeating.

It required me to be willing to feel super uncomfortable when I wanted to overeat.

I was willing to feel anxious or bored and deprived and NOT eat anything.

Once I was willing to do that my whole life changed.

I was back in charge of my body and what I put in it.

I was no longer at back and call of my feelings, of my bad habits, cravings or mindless eating.

I have lost all the 10 pounds I thought I needed to lose and an extra 7 pounds on top of that just because I decided to feel my feelings instead of avoiding them by stuffing my face.

Today I can truly enjoy my body when I get dressed in the morning and when I go to bed with a happy stomach.

When I pack for vacation I no longer have to dread putting on my swimsuit and have a potbelly sticking out, I am excited to be the size I was when I was 20!

How amazing is that!

I was overweight ( now lots of people may roll their eyes if they know me and they would say I can’t claim that title, but to those people I will say that for a decade I went to bed with the big stomach ache from overeating, which kept me up half of the night, so that i think even a little person can feel overweight and achy and want to lose that weight).

I was over my normal weight and that caused me to beat myself up, put up with the stomach ache, have low self confidence and just in general not feel in charge of my body.

So if you asked me what I have to offer on the subject of ‘body weight’ I would have to say it all starts with your willingness to feel all the uncomfortable feelings.

Your body is simply a reflection of the choices you make when you avoid ‘life’.

Part of my lifestyle now is not eating anything after dinner ( no desert or snacks); I also don’t eat any flour or sugar during the day .

This keeps my hunger scaled back to only require what I need to fuel my body.

I do plan exceptions (a treat planned ahead of time, and never as a response to a craving in the moment), sometimes a birthday cake or a non alcoholic beer. I do that as a practice of not being afraid to consume those foods and being able to still eat them without binging for a week afterwards.

Another big change I have included in the new me is not consuming any alcohol.   And let me tell you – life is SO much better without it!

I will talk about that one in my next blog!

Stay tuned!

Natalia

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Blog Special! Full recording of the presentation on this topic: 2 Questions You Can Ask Yourself to Feel Better

 

  1. What am I thinking that’s creating this feeling?
  2. Why am I choosing to think that?

Then choose a thought that serves you better.

Simple!

Enjoy the video!

And thanks again to all my lovely participants!

 

Natalia

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Our Manual For Our Kids

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I have a long manual for my kids and 2 mornings ago I found out that in that manual I have “My son must eat egg salad(he refused to take it for his lunch). He used to eat it and like it and so he must eat it and like it now”.

Have you guys had one of those mornings where you had a tantrum because of something idiotic as your child refusing EGG SALAD????

Yep, that was me.

Afterwards, when the kids have left for school and I was left alone with my own crazy, I sat down to work.

I filled out my manual and shook my head at the ridiculousness of it all.

Did I just really flip out and get super upset over my son saying no to whatever I offered him for lunch.

If I was to picture myself reacting that same way if my husband, or friend refused an egg salad then that sounds absurd and also I would never do that!.

But don’t we all have that with our kids sometimes???

“They used to eat this! I went through all the trouble of making this for them and now they tell me they don’t want it” . Rage. Full on rage.

I’m happy to say that I never run out of personal examples that help me relate to my clients. This is what we do. We do this to ourselves. Not our kids.

We say to ourselves: “ my kids should do this, or shouldn’t do that” and that causes ALL of our unnecessary suffering when they don’t follow our ‘manual’.

After all it is our MANUAL for them.

This is what they should do and how they should do it so that WE can feel good.

Don’t they know this by now?

We have only told them 50 million times!

Yet they still don’t want to eat the cursed egg salad!

Bummer..

This is the reason why I do what I do!

After that horrible morning fo screaming and fighting I coached myself, looked at what thoughts created that for myself, sat there, and looked at them, and really saw how ridiculous it all was, and from seeing it all on paper I had enough distance from it to really let go of that one manual item that was not serving me AT all.

Before I discovered coaching I would have had a day full of self loathing, may be even some more screaming, a bad mood and no end in sight, no way out, no real answers, no tools to feel better, truly better.

What a relief and how exciting to know exactly WHAT to do when life happens.

Do you ever find yourself hopeless and not doing well?

Let me help you!!!   

I love, love, love sharing my story and what I’ve learned so that you can feel better!

So fun.

May be a little hard for you but so fun for me!

So! Egg salad! You no longer are on my manual for my kids.  I am all good whether they eat it or not.

See you all next week!

Natalia

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Overwhelm

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Happy Sunday Everyone!

Thank you to everyone who was there for my presentation on How To Feel Better this week! I will be posting a video of it up next week in case you are interested.

This week i had a chance to study my own overwhelm and to report it back to you here.  Listen to my ‘podcast’ below to learn what i did to feel back in control.

Let me sum it up for you here: i came up with my own formula for overwhelm.
Here it is:

Thoughts about 1 New thing
+
Thoughts About Lots of jobs
+
Thought “How will i do it all?”
=
Overwhelmed Mama

This is what i did to feel better:
1. Write down all the things i was thinking about

2. Ask “Can I do each of these things on their own?” – yes

3. Decided to THINK about only ONE thing i need to do now.

4. Decided NOT to think about ALL the things i need to do AT ONCE.
Hope this helps ! Comment below about what creates your overwhelm and how do you solve for it!

Have a great week everyone!

Natalia

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Lessons Learned From Marianne Williamson

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Based on her book: “A Return to Love.  Reflections on the Principles of A COURSE IN MIRACLES”

Hey there guys!

How’s your weekend going?

I’ve decide to start sharing with you who my teachers are and what they teach me. And here’s the first one in those series.  We’ll take a break from time management for a little bit and I’ll make sure to come back to it and wrap up all the other important parts so you guys have ALL the info you need to be in charge of your time.

One of my teachers that is Marianne Williamson.  She wrote this book called “A Return to Love” Reflections on the work of A Course in Miracles.

Here are a few of my favourite quotes from that book!

We will always learn what we have chosen to teach”.

I love this quote because I experience this with a lot of things in my life, small things like by teaching kids to ski I master the sport myself at a deeper level, and big things like teaching all you guys about how amazing you all are: I learn how amazing we all are, more than I have ever imagined.

 

“Since no thoughts are neutral, every relationship takes us deeper into heaven or deeper in to hell”

Such a simple way to look at relationships!!

All relationships are – are our thoughts.

If those thoughts are loving then you are creating a loving relationship (heaven for yourself) or if the thoughts are unloving then you create an unloving relationship (or hell) for yourself.

 

“Forgiveness is the key to inner peace because it is the mental technique by which our thoughts are transformed from fear to love.” 

Love thinking about forgiveness as a technique to transform our thoughts and feel better.

Whenever you are feeling bad that means your thoughts are fearful and you can use forgiveness to changes those thoughts to loving thoughts! Sounds easy right! But we all know it’s not always easy.

 

“We must reveal ourselves at the deepest level in order to find out how lovable we are.” 

That one spoke to me so much as I am going through my initial stages of starting a business and opening up on my blog, creating videos and all of it is requiring me to dig deep and work with the painful experiences that I’ve had and use them to teach.  It is so scary to open up! What if yo’all don’t like me ?!
But the opening up is so worth it as you gain such freedom in being exactly who you are, without hiding anything.  Whatever you are ‘hiding’ from others, I encourage you to open up and love yourself with all that exposed. Do it!

 

“Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives.  They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.”

I’ve learned that to be true with my husband, the more we open up to each other and support each other the more growth we both experience.
It’s a beautiful thing if you can be as crazy as you can be with your partner and it’s all good, that’s when growth happens.

 

“We don’t get to the light through constant investigation of the darkness.  The only way to the light is through entering the light.”  

Wow, that is so true. Small things and big.  We don’t get to mental health through constant investigation into what’s wrong with us, we imagine and strive and work towards the mental health we DO want.

 

“It often seems that our lives get worse rather than better when we begin to work deeply on ourselves.  Life doesn’t actually get worse, it just that we feel our own transgressions more because we’re no longer anesthetiser by unconsciousness.”

Who here has found this to be true? I am raising my hand for this one.

 

“Your power is a result of your decision to reveal it.”

That is such an interesting way to describe it. Love it!

 

This next one I love because it can help anyone with promoting(in business and in life) themselves:

“If we think of selling – We’re afraid of either success or failure.  If we make the switch from selling to service we can focus on love. The issue is the presence of fear, and it’s inevitability whenever love is absent.”

This worked like magic for me to be able to show up for my clients and serve them on the highest level. “I am here to serve.” – Is all I have to say to myself and the fear disappears.

 

“When our desire is to give instead of get, our core belief is that we have so much abundance, we can afford to give it away.”

And this quote is why I’m here to serve you guys! I truly feel this way and I’m so pumped to share with you everything I know and see how amazing your lives become!

If you are looking to really study the teachings of The Course in Miracles, this book is an excellent choice, I would highly recommend it.

Love you guys!

Have a great week everyone!

Natalia

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Save Time with Massive Action!

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As i promised here is more on Time Management!

During the last 2 weeks ago I talked about Planning, Following through with your plan and then Deciding Strongly.

All those things will save you time, make you more time for things you want to do.

Once you’ve decided strongly you will start doing whatever it is you need to do for that decision.

And here is where Massive Action is absolutely necessary.

By taking Massive Action you will always always get a result.

The way to know if you’ve taking Massive Action is ask yourself this: Do i have the result I want?
If you do great, keep taking the same massive action to create the same result.
If you don’t, you just need to change massive action.

That’s it! Let me know how this works out for you! I’d love to answer any questions you have about this. Just shoot me an email IM me.

Have a great week!

Natalia

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Save Time by Making Decisions Strongly

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The first thing I talked about that makes time is planning your time.

Make sure you include time off, and time to relax, and time to play, and time to be spontaneous. 

Follow through on your plan no matter how you feel at the moment.

The second thing that will give you more time is making decisions strongly.

I know this so well because I used to be and still sometimes am the most indecisive person.

And I am also a life coach which means I have worked my butt off to make my decisions strongly and never look back.

So trust me when I say that you will have loads of time when you don’t indulge in indecision. 

The most painful part of that showed up in my parenting.    

I would tell my kids no to whatever they were asking for and then doubt it and change my mind. 

That would only build more evidence that I make ‘wrong’ decisions for the future and so I would indulge in more indecision the next time around.

It was a vicious circle.  I did not like the person I was being and I felt I had no control over that.  My kids would constantly whine for everything and I felt like I was failing as a parent.   It sucked.

Now I have learned that what makes my decision right or wrong is what I decide I want it to be. 

If I DECIDE it’s the right decision then my brain will be at work looking for the evidence that it is the right decision.

If I let my brain go to it’s default it will always come up with reasons why it was not the right decision no matter which option I pick.

To sum it up:

There are no wrong decisions.

Decide strongly and never look back. 

You will save yourself a ton of time.

My coach has this analogy of going on a hike and not deciding which trail to take.

You start hiking and then turn around, start on another train and then turn around, and on and on you try to hike on different trails without actually getting anywhere because you keep changing your mind. 

On your hike you will feel doubt, you will feel scared, you will feel like you made the wrong decision. 

If you can believe there is no wrong decision then you can stay committed to your original decision and you will be amazed at how much time you save by just going straight up the mountain and not questioning yourself.

Have you guys heard of MASSIVE ACTION? I can’t wait to tell you all about it next week and how it can also save you time!!! Exciting!

Have a beautiful week everybody!

Natalia

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