Saying NO

Saying NO

I just said no to someone.

I actually said yes to them first but after a while I realized I’m not going to be fully present if I go through with it and I want to be.

So I called back and said that I won’t be at my best and it’s probably not fair to them for me to waste their time.

So I said no to the offer to meet.
But at the same time I said yes myself.
I said yes to what I need to do for me today.
I said yes to what I need to do for my kids.
The other person totally understood.
So often we think saying no to someone is bad.
Saying no is hard. Saying no is not nice.
What we forget to see is that by saying no we create space for us to say yes something else, something that we want to say yes to.
Think about it.
Happy Friday guys!

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THE best job in the world!!!

You know what I just realized a few days ago????
That I literally have THE BEST job in the world – because I get to work with my friends, helping my friends !
My first clients is my friend and had been my friend for 16 years now!!!!!
She was a bridesmaid in my wedding, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding !
We have gone on vacations together, we have gone camping together, we hosted bachelorette parties for friends together, we knew each other before we met our husbands to be, before we had the kids, before we ended up in the jobs we are at.
How amazing and fun is that !!!!
Freaking amazing !
I LOVE seeing her every week! Seriously !
I don’t think I couldn’t have imagined it better than that!
And I am pretty sure I actually did imagine it that way and made that happen because we create all our results !
SO if you are at all interested in having your job FEEL that way for you, you know where to find me, i can hook you up with that FEELING!
Now I have a lunch date with my husbanator and later a girls night!
Sea ya’ll tomorrow !

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Summer Planning

You really do need to plan MORE in summer and FOR summer.
The bigger the chunk of ‘free’ time you have the more you have to plan.
I keep saying it over and over again and I keep finding more and more proof for it.
I spent almost 2 hours yesterday morning getting help from the one and only Andrea Mele at Busy Mom Nutrition.
 I came with overwhelm, sadness and just fully given up.
I left with a sense of relief, renewal, a sense of control and preparedness.
What a difference.
A weight off my shoulders.
I am now fully ready for the summer, for kids to be home, for them to ask for snacks all day long, and for me to say no when I need to and I’m ready for them to be upset.
I’m also ready and committed to spend 15 mins each week meal planning.
I am ready to spend each morning prepping breakfasts and lunches.
Doug and I share the dinner responsibilities so I will keep doing what I do with him for that.
Sure enough, I had a client ask me exactly what I do to address summer plans/food/meal planning etc. today! I laughed out loud because I just figured it all out yesterday! So I was happy to have answer for her.
Life is funny isn’t it.
Do your work and it will not only pay off for you but you never know who else it will help.
Cheers to summer !
I’m excited!
P.S. Have you given up on yourself and are sad and overwhelmed?  Email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com and I can help. I’ve been there and i know exactly what to do.

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I trust the process of life.

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For people who are anxious a lot and feel that tense feeling in their stomach, here’s what helped me a lot back when I first started out.
I read Louise Hay’s book called “You can heal your life” and it changed my relationship with myself.
It taught me to have my own back and to be there to take care of myself.
Louise Hay work consists of finding and using affirmations to change the energy and to attract what we want in our life.
Affirmations below are the ones I used 2 years ago and I also used them a lot with my older boys when they were a bit anxious going to school and being away from home.
These are super dear to me, they have proven themselves over many times. I love these saying. They are so powerful.
Life brings me only good.
 
I trust the process of life. 
 
I am safe.
 
I have time and space for everything that I need and want in my life.
 
I love and approve of myself.
 
All is well.
 
I can take care of myself. 
 
Everyone loves me and I love everyone.
Have a beautiful Tuesday everyone!
Natalia

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8 kids

Can you host a playdate without getting stressed out before and after? YEP.

I just hosted a total of 8 kids (4 of which are mine), and I was cool as a cucumber all throughout the prep, the tidy up, the getting kids to help out, all throughout the time at the playground with 8 kids!
Counting heads every few minutes.
All throughout kids spraying water with water guns inside the house:)(that didn’t last long).
Over-all I am calling it a success.
I want to say it was easy because all the kids are big and they just played, but you know what, it was easy because I made it easy!
I didn’t make a big deal out of  anything.
My standards were super low: don’t lose a kid, don’t let a kid get hit by a car (on the way home), some sort of food on the table. Done:)
So there you have it.
4 years ago I was stressing over prep and snapping at my kids before everyone showed up, wanting everything done perfect.
Welcome to today. 8 kids at the playground and then transfer to the house! so fun!
The best part seeing Austin put his hand around his best friends shoulder as they walked home. Priceless!

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I’m writing a book.

Have I told you guys that I’m writing a book?
Yep.
I am that person who thinks they can write a book and then sits down and writes a book. I am currently 7 days in , 7 pages done. I write every day for a little bit, up to 30 mins. I am really enjoying it so far.
I declared this to my boys at bed time the other day, while reading books to them.
Austin thought for a second, and then said :
“So are you going to sell your book at the garage sale?”
We just died laughing.
OH the logic of a 6 year old.
Why garage sale ?
And he also brought up a good point: why write a book?
The purpose of me writing a book is not to sell it.
Here is my twofold purpose.
1. First and foremost I want to write for myself, to show myself I can write a book and also for the experience of writing.
I have discovered I love to write so here I am writing. That’s it.
The process is the goal.
The other part of it that I love to think about : what does it take to become that person who writes a book?
How does that person think about the world and about themselves?
So fascinating to explore that.
2. IF this books helps just one person in their life, that is a cherry on top.  I already see that person being me. So i get to enjoy both of those goals all at once.
But, today is sunday and we just got back from the longest bike ride we have ever done as 6 of us, 3 hours with multiple stops and snacks and all the boys did amazing ( twins got to ride with Doug and I on the back of my bike and the chariot, Cade did bike half of the way, which was super impressive).
So back to real life, morning was fun. Now i’ll have some lunch and a coffee and tidy up a bit. Get ready for a get together with some friends tonight! See ya’ll tomorrow !

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BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert, book review

Image result for big magicHolly cow she can write! She writes so well that she inspired me to commit to writing for 30 days staring (my blog and a page for my first book – because turns out I love to write! But this is not about me, this is about the brilliant gems that I am here to share with you from her book).
“My creative expression is the most important thing in the world to me (if I’m to live artistically), and it also must not matter at all (if I am to live sanely).”
Elizabeth goes in depth to explain this as she sees it as she believes that thinking about our creativity this way IS the best way to think about it as it serves us so well.

It makes it so easy to create all the time with no pressure to succeed and at the same time we DO make it a high priority to CREATE whatever it is we love to create – we will always make time for it and seek out even 15 mins a day just to do it.

I absolutely love that concept and have experience the powerful effect of it directly on my own life and how I approach creating value in the world. It becomes so light and fun and sustainable!

“When people are having an affair, they don’t mind losing sleep, or missing meals.  They will make whatever sacrifices they have to make, and they will blast through any obstacles, in order to be alone with the object of their devotion and obsession – because it matters to them.” 
Here Elizabeth Gilbert compares our relationship with our creativity(whatever shape it takes for you) to the relationship one has when they are having an affair.

She suggest that if we can see our art from that perspective and approach it with such willingness to do it whenever, wherever we will be so much more excited and inspired to give it our time!

This is what I always do myself and I love that about me.

If I have 30 mins, or even 15 mins I will sit down and write something or I will sit down and read something or learn something that I’m passionate about.  I am always squeezing in time with my ‘lover’ whenever I have. And this is the one affair my husband is supportive about:) He sees how happy it makes me.

“You must learn how to become a deeply disciplined half-ass.”
Elizabeth talks about how laziness and perfectionism are the two things that will always come in the way between us and our vocation.
Therefore we must, must, must learn to “become a deeply disciplined half-ass.”.
Work, work, work, work and don’t mind that it’s not perfect. Just get it done.
Amen.
“Possessing a creative mind, after all, is something like having a border collie for a pet: it needs to work or otherwise it will cause you an outrageous amount of trouble.” : “ eating a couch, digging a hole through the living room floor”
“If I’m not actively creating something, then I’m probably actively destroying something (myself, a relationship, or my own peace of mind.)”
So true! Love this quote.
“Passion makes you get divorced and sell all your possessions and shave your head and move to Nepal. Curiosity doesn’t ask nearly so much of you.”
Elizabeth encourages us to be curious with ourselves instead of looking for our passion.  This is her argument.
It’s just such a gentler approach than ‘I need to find my passion’, which can involve changing your life; which is not necessarily momentum building.
“Sometimes I think that the difference between a tormented creative life and a tranquil creative life is nothing more than a difference between the word awful and the word interesting.”
I love, love, love this perspective.
Brilliant.
All of my breakthroughs are going from ‘horrible’ to ‘interesting’ perspective.
Try this! It works!
“What would you do if you knew that you might very well fail?”
And for the final quote I picked this one.
If you are looking for a way to find what you want to do with your life, try this question.  What are you willing to fail at to do?
What would be exciting to fail at for you?
What is worth all the failure for you to pursue?
For me it is hands down this work, coaching myself and others and learning.
I thinks this is THE most fun!
Have a beautiful day everyone!
Natalia

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The type of client and student i am

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Does this ever happen to you that you realize one day that you are doing exactly what you want to be doing and being exactly who you want to be being?

The other day i was sending some of my favourite podcasts to my friend and at that moment i realized – i have HIRED and and am WORKING with all 3 of my favourite people, whom i admire and learn from all the time.

That was such an amazing thing for me to realize, because not do i claim to be the life coach but i am also a student and a client at the same time, which makes me a better coach. 

I am being the person, that same person that i expect my students be: do the work, show up, keep showing up, commit to working with a coach you trust. 

I truly believe that i can’t be in integrity and ask my clients to commit to working with me and to pay me and to learn from me if i’m not doing the same with my coaches.

And it works the other way around too.

If i am making big decisions and committing to work with a coach( or 3), if i am doing all the homework and experiencing the transformation then I can believe the same transformation is available to my clients when they do the work.

That is the magic, i believe.

I show up as the student and client i want my clients to be.  It’s super simple and exciting to think about!

Realizing i have hired 3 coaches made me feel like i’m that person who can’t stop getting tattoos !  ha ha. I am hooked on that high and i want more!

Who inspires you into action? Who is that person for you who makes you believe that you can do whatever you want and have the life you want?  If you would like to explore if coaching is for you, email me back and we can discuss it over coffee!

Happy Friday guys!

Natalia

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“That was easy” vs. “I made it easy!”

I got this message from my client yesterday: “ Today went really well.  Funny thing is now I’m like “ oh this was super easy and natural, what was I worried about” but the truth is it’s because I did all the work.”

This person has been preparing for the event and the way she will show up at this event. She texted me to let me know it was a success and went well. I love receiving these messages, of course.

I’ve also been working with her on recognizing and giving due credit to herself for doing the work and creating the results she has (good or bad, especially the good).

And that is what she did super well here. Even though her brain went straight to ‘oh that was easy’.

Isn’t it funny that our brains do that?

You’ve been preparing and practicing and doing all the hard work in believing in yourself and believing good things about you.  You go and do the new, scary thing and your brain discounts it to being easy.  NO!

It WAS hard for you before you did the work. YOU DID the work and now you have made it easy for yourself, yes. But YOU created that, not the event.

Yes some people naturally assign all the credit to themselves and that is great. The rest of us are not so lucky and have to deal with this human part of our brain.

It is super easy to circumvent though. Just remind yourself just like my client did – that the reason it was a success, and went well and she did show up as the version of herself she wants to show up – is ALL because of the decision and the work she did.  SO important.

IF she hadn’t noticed that and didn’t acknowledge that she created that for herself then she would have given up the most amazing knowledge she can ever have: that is that she IS in charge of her own experience in any situation.

KNOWING that is life changing!   

Having a success or failure can then look like this :

“how did I create that for myself?” 

“How did I show up that ended in this result?”

“What was I believing to act that confident?”

IF you believe in your ability to do that, then you will approach every situation with the thought of  ‘how can I create what I want here?”

SO FUN!

Dissecting each little success and failure is super helpful when we first start out.

That is exactly what my client did.

My job as a coach is to show her exactly how she created this with her thinking. 

To make sure she does give herself credit. 

To remind her that only 6 months ago she couldn’t have done that because she didn’t have the knowledge or the commitment.

Now she does!

When we bring her attention to every little win and how SHE created it we are creating ALL the reasons to keep doing the work, to taste the fruits of her labour and to get excited each step of the way!

Have a great Thursday everyone!

N

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Thank you letter to Mark Manson!

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You guys!

I was just reading ‘Big Magic’ By Elizabeth Gilbert. (amazing book by the way, I am LOVING it so much, i’m almost sad to be almost done.)

And the coolest thing happened. She was referencing Mark Manson‘s article.  Not just any article but THE article that had changed my life!!!!

In this article he talks about how finding your passion doesn’t have to be hard. If it’s your passion you are already doing it, that’s kind of the definition of passion.

Usually because we already doing it and we are ‘looking’ for a our passion, we don’t realize what it is that we are doing, which is ultimately is our passion already and we are already doing it.

My biggest take away from that article was that i’m already doing what i’m passionate about and i’m just realizing that it’s a thing, a skill, a talent.

The questions that he suggest you can use to find out what it is that you love to do already is the following. : “What do you do that while doing it you forget to go pee?” (the rest of the questions i forget because this one worked right away!)

I absolutely love that question because i right away knew exactly what it is that i do and i LOVE doing it. Talking to people and figuring our problems! I literally would hold my pee until after so i wouldn’t have to interrupt the magic.

That article changed my life and i am a life coach now, and i couldn’t be happier about it. so this is a thank you letter to Marc Manson. Thank you for doing your work and showing up for yourself! Your work is inspiring and valuable!

I must also mention the ‘shit sandwich’, which he talks about.  Brilliant, brilliant! What kind of shit sandwich are you willing to eat in order to do what you love?

If you are not willing to put up with something that sucks in what you do, you will not do it! It’s as simple as that.

He made me realize that I’m willing to put up with so much discomfort, fear, doubt, confusion, procrastination in order to coach and be coached and grow and achieve. Love it!

 

 

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