Feeling good intolerance

Here’s a thought i heard today you might like: “I’m learning to trust the good in my life”.

You know when you go to check on your kids when they are sleeping and they look so amazing and beautiful that it becomes too much for you to handle,  you get scared that something will happen to them?

Your feeling of love turns into fear and loosing this fortune. 

I call this being uncomfortable with feeling good. Really. 

We are intolerant to feeling good. 

We can’t take too much of it, at some point we get very uncomfortable with feeling THAT good. 

To avoid that discomfort we have thoughts like ‘it’s irresponsible to not worry, i don’t want to brag, this is white people problems; adding complaining at the end to make us seem more normal’.

Those are the ways we bring ourselves back where it’s more comfortable: some good and some problems.

I’m definitely a believer that we can grow our capacity to have and feel good in our life. 

Practice feeling good without guilt, excuses, fear or shame. (and i do that with that sentence : “i’m learning ot trust the good in my life” and i lean in and feel the love without being afraid. just adding a second here and there)

It’s not a mystery, it’s intentional brain management. 

Natalia

P.S.

My job is just like the job of a fridge technician.  He comes in and adjusts the way the fridge works SO that the food doesn’t rot. We need the food to stay cold so that we can be healthy and have a great life. 
I come in and adjust the way your brain works SO that your THOUGHTS (food) don’t get rotten and make you sick.  IF we let the fridge do it’s thing without setting the thermostat and maintaining it, keeping the door closed our food will get rotten and we will get sick.

The exact same thing happens with our brain.  If we keep the door open and LET every opinion into brain well we will feel sick- sad, unsure, ashamed.
If we don’t set the temperature- which is what thoughts are acceptable to achieve the life we want – if we don’t set that then again we will get sick.

Food fuels our body. Thoughts fuel our mind, which creates our life.  Keep your food cold and manage your thoughts.  – your friendly neighbourhood life coach:) 

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I’m having an identity crisis

Last night my second son asked me what I did that day (even though he was here with me the whole day lol)

I listed all the things. He said ‘what else?’

I thought.

I said ‘I cooked dinner…, hm, I cooked lunch… and HOLLY SMOKES I cooked breakfast TOO !! WHAT THE HECK!!!!”

I literally said those things out-loud and could NOT believe what I was saying with my own mouth. 

Because I HAVE BELIEVED ALL MY LIFE THAT I’M A PERSON WHO DOESN’T COOK! 
(notice how i said that I believed instead of I am  – huge difference between the two! obviously because what I thought was completely different from what I was doing) 

I THOUGHT
 I am a person who doesn’t cook so how is it possible that I cooked 3 meals that day for my whole family ???!!! (6 people – no big deal!!!)

TO be honest I was a bit furious with my own brain for doing that! 

HOW dare you keep on believing something about me that is NOT EVEN TRUE!!!

I DO EFFING COOK! —- POOF – that old story GONE. 

And yes I type in caps because that is how outraged I was at my own brain!  Also I was a bit delighted about this new discovery about myself and entertained, because it is funny I could believe that AND cook 3 meals that day !!! So good! 

If my son never asked me that question I would have kept on believing that I’m a person who DOESN’T COOK! RIDICULOUS! 

So yes i’m having an identity crisis in the kitchen and in the rest of my life as well because i’m growing into a person who is a successful business person, who makes a lot of money and TALKS NICE TO HERSELF.

SO just like I dropped my story about me not cooking, I am realizing I have to drop my story now that ‘I don’t talk nice to myself’.

Because the me who talks nice to herself  – NEVER thinks that. 

That person thinks ‘I always talk nice to myself, that’s just what I do.’

It is true that for you to become who you want to become you have to have an identity crisis and give up all of your current stories about yourself. 

What you think are facts about you are not at all facts or even true – they are simply thoughts you have practiced believing and then created a bunch of evidence to support them.  That’s it. 

Create NEW, BETTER STORIES about yourself and then practice those. 

Love you guys!

P.S. This is a great example of what happens in coaching – I ask you a question and you tell me what you do and you tell me what you believe and if the two don’t match up I show that to you.  YOU SEE IT. YOU see that you cooked 3 meals and you ALSO believe that you DON’T COOK – you brain is never the same after that.  You walk away a different, better version of yourself.  You drop the belief that is a LIE. Right there, without any convincing or trying to be ‘positive’ about it! JUST SEEING it does the job of no longer believing it.
I help you change your brain and the rest takes care of itself!!!

P.S.S. After working with me my mom was able to change her story of “I never finish anything” to “I follow through on what I have decided” and it didn’t happen overnight, she practiced it every day and created a bunch of evidence to support that new belief.  And it all started with her getting coached and seeing her thoughts and actions. 
I can help you with that as well! One on one coaching, just reply to this email now.

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Unsupervised Questions

We all do this.
“Is this the right thing to do?”
”What if I’m wrong?”
”What if they are right?”
”What if it’s not worth it?”
The list goes on and on.

Ask a better question and the quality of answers will change. “If there is no right decision which one sounds more fun?”
“If we are both right, what do I want to do?”
”Why do I want to do this?”
What do you guys think about this subtle yet powerful shift?

Natalia

P.S. This is what one of my client said after working with me:
“Once I got control of my life back I felt awesome, free, lighter. It got me back to my confidence definitely, it got me back to who I really am.” So the question is not “can that be you” because it absolutely can but a better question is what do you want out of your life? What do you want to feel on the other side? It is possible for you now.

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This is just what happens


  • So you know how we are born, we go to school, get married, get a job, have kids. It’s a thing that we all do or try to do if we can. We may do it in a different order, skip some steps or take longer but it’s just what we do.

    So when I came across my life coach who was offering her help I ignored it completely because it’s not what we do, I didn’t know anybody who was doing it so I didn’t even hear her offer at first.

    Then when I heard some of her clients talk about their lives and what changed for them from working with her I was SOLD, I wanted some of that for me, hearing real people talk about how they could lose weight and start a business and make money, be confident- did it for me. I wanted all of those things! FOR ME!

    But at the same time I thought this is just a scam, she just wants my money, may be I’m a fool, may be I can’t do this, and I definitely don’t want to spend money on this, nobody is doing it and they will definitely think I’m such a fool for paying money for this.

    This is not what people do!

    Hiring a life coach is not part of the plan!
    But I wanted to feel confident so badly, I wanted to be doing all those things those people were doing!
    So I had to literally convince myself that I can Become confident and be just like her clients who achieved all those things.
    I will admit it took me months to convince myself To even try it.

    It wasn’t a gym membership, which is easy to share about with friends.
    It wasn’t even the same as going to a psychologist, which is more commonly done but not so commonly shared.

    This was brand new and there was a big chance of it not working.
    Doing something that nobody is doing is scary.

    But from my experience I gained my whole life by doing something that nobody is doing, I gained my confidence, my fun in life, I gained all the things I thought were impossible for me.

    I lost the safety of being liked by everyone but I can’t even remember why that mattered now.

    So I think it is so worth it to let yourself convince yourself to do something you want. Have a real conversation with yourself and negotiate.
    What do you want and what are the risks, and are you willing to work hard to get that.

    Have a real conversation with yourself and negotiate.
    What do you want and what are the risks, and are you willing to work hard to get that result no matter what.

    -Natalia
    P.S. Now I will share with you what my client said here so watch what your brain says and be curious about why it says that, does it say “it’s not for me” or “I wish I could have that” and be curious.

    If you have been convincing yourself to do this I think you are ready, what is your one doubt that’s stopping you? I can help you overcome it so that you can also get what you like.

    P.s.s. she says: “What you told me in our first chat blew my mind.
    I never really saw things the way that you described it and I knew the awareness was there but its kind of like you helped me recall it and you put it in a logical way which I am not able to do. I’m a very emotional person and you explained it so well that it was easy to understand and it made so much sense that it changed completely the way I was in control gain, I was no longer the passenger, I was the driver. I was in control again.”

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“All families are NOBLE and TRASHY”.- Brooke Castillo


If we accept that about our family we no longer have to hide the trashy part and really make peace with it;)

we all have a bit of both, agree?


@lifecoachschool #families #trashy #embrace #hide #shame

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Brains are fascinating!


I woke up this morning from a dream where I thought that my little guy was drowning!

I pulled him out and it was over in seconds but that scared face coming out of the water WOKE me up early and I was so shaken up! Here’s what I find so interesting, I’m always so amazed how an image in my head from a dream can create such strong emotion!!!

NOTHING has happened, I was sleeping! Yet my brain thinks my son was drowning! And now I’m picturing strapping on a life jacket on him for the future to make sure he doesn’t drown!

And trying to prevent that from happening NOT because he was drowning but because I had a dream of him drowning ! So fascinating !

This is what our brain does when we are awake too- it imagines stuff and then goes to solve for that imaginary scenario, because we think it’s real! Or potentially real in the future! Or realistic!

It’s so crazy and cool to realize that none of it is real, it’s all our perception and when we think it’s real we go down the rabbit hole and believe something we don’t have to beleive. We suffer unnecessarily.

What a powerful beautiful software we have in our brain, we can use it for worry or we can use it to imagine a wonderful future for ourselves.

Both are imagining, worry is just imagining something terrible happening in the future and the other is imagining something great happening in the future.

So thanks to that dream I got yo spend extra quiet time with myself this morning, with a coffee, NOT being afraid that my son will drown. I read and watched a scholars video on money.

#brainsatefascinating


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YOU HAVE TO BECOME A DISASTER BEFORE YOU BECOME THE MASTER

 I really, really want to start a podcast!

And the reason I like the best for starting it is !

To learn and practice so that one day it can help hundreds and thousands of people.


But first I have to become a disaster at it haha I don’t think it’ll be that bad! Let’s find out !


I guess the same is true with loving yourself – we have to first see what a disaster we are at it to then become a master of it.

#podcats#patflynn#master#failure#success#loveyourself#yellingatkids#stopyelling#momoftwins#momof4#momofboys

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My mom says

“I LEARNED TO MAKE A DECISION AND DECIDE THAT IT’S THE RIGHT DECISION” – NINA MATVEEVA

This is so powerful and straight out of my moms mouth!
Can’t help it but brag she learned it from working with me:) SO good!


Her testimonial coming

soon!! #decisions #decide #rightone #rightdecisions #mom

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I AM ENOUGH

Because I am. And you are too.


And when you think you would be better with more discipline or less weight, it’s a lie.


More patient with your kids or more loving with your mom and then you are will acceptable. Not true.


You are enough already – impatient and snappy. Why?


Because it FEELS good to think “I am enough” and from that feeling – we are a lot more loving to ourselves and others, which is what we want, right?


You are enough.

#iamenough#youareenough#mom#momof4#momoftwins#yyc#acceptingyourself#talknicetoyoueself

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Confidence is knowing you will talk nice to yourself, always


Make a deal with yourself that no matter what is going on externally or internally you will talk nice to yourself through it and after it. Then do exactly that. Have your own back.

That starts now with exactly what your life looks like already, no matter how far it is from what you want it to be- don’t use it against yourself. .
Be on your side about everything.

I snapped at the twins this morning while trying to do work, and I came right back and apologized, I didn’t beat myself up for it. I said sorry and moved on.


I ate tacos with tortillas yesterday even thought I don’t really like eating bread things (IG makes me feel bloated), but I did and I moved on. I made it mean that yes I had a taco, but it doesn’t mean anything about me or my future. That is how I’m having my back every single situation in life.

And I fuck up a lot, that’s why I’m practicing this.


But what I know for sure it feels so much better to be nice to myself no matter what. And safer.


#safe #talknice #haveyourback #confidence

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