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People Pleasers are Liars!

My coach Brook Castillo says People Pleasers Are Liars.
Here’s how she explains it.

Whenever you say yes to doing something or pretend to be someone who you think “they” want you to be even thought you really don’t want to do that thing and you are not that person at all – you are lying.
You are saying “yes, I will volunteer for that lunch” even though you really don’t want to, and you say yes in hopes they will like you and approve of you.
When you say yes and you don’t mean it what happens is they may like you for it but they are actually liking the “fake” version of you that is not you at all.
The real you wants to say no!
You lie to them and at the same time you tell yourself: “ I prefer they like a pretend version of me than me liking me for who I am.” Here’s the message you send to yourself “What I think is not important, so NO to you for wanting to stay home and YES to them and their lunch.

I want their approval and I don’t want my own approval.” You neglect your wishes and opinions and you make “theirs” so much more important than they should ever be.
So next time you do something you really don’t want to do notice that you are lying about what you really want to do. Why are you lying ?
If they won’t like you for how you really feel then why would you want their approval ?

When we chase approval from others and not ourselves we are always left wanting, we are left lying about who we truly are, and the worst part is we lose all the trust in our own ability to take care of ourselves.
We know we will always sell ourselves out for the next hit of approval from a person we don’t even really know.
Are you willing to be honest and allow people to be upset with you, to not like you and to disapprove what you are doing and to gain your own approval, and trust yourself again ?
Here’s what’s true for me, it’s not only freeing to be me and tell people the truth but also it’s super fun to go against the grain. Pst , don’t tell anyone but I really do love the thrill!
If you would like to have some fun with this as well DM me and we can have a coffee and a chat!

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