Archive October 2019

I want to be more confident in my life!

This is what I hear the most.
But what does being more confident mean to you ?
Does it mean that everybody would think you are confident ?
Does it mean you are not afraid of anything ?

Does it mean you never feel doubt ?

Does it mean that if you were confident everybody would like you ?

You have to really think about that for yourself, what exactly would “confidence” look like in your life ?

What I have found to be the most empowering is to be willing to sit in my own sht lol.
I mean sit in my own disappointment, doubt, lack of confidence, anger, failure, embarrassment.
Here is my definition of confidence: I am able and willing to feel any bad feeling!
There will still be fear and doubt and some people won’t like me or my message.

AND IT’S OKAY.

I can bear that.
THERE’S NOTHING I CAN’T HANDLE. (even my own lack of confidence sometimes!)
What is the most that you can bear ?
Does that create confidence for you recognizing what you are willing to bear?

 

N

Tags, , , , , , , , , ,

Meet yourself where you are.

That is my superpower – to meet myself wherever I am.

If I am angry then I meet myself in anger.

If I am disappointed then I let myself be disappointed.

If I am tired, my least favourite place to be as I’m finding out, I meet myself in the “I’m tired”.

That is my super power but I am not super human and I still resist these sometimes but I always, always strive to meet myself wherever I am.

Even it takes me a very long time that is the place I always want to meet myself at.

Simply because it feels better than fighting where I am.

That’s it.

It feels better to feel bad than to resist feeling bad.

That’s it.

If I am overwhelmed and a hot mess before meeting a client I lean in and admit that I am and I know that that skill is what makes me able to Help my clients!!!!

Not being organized and all together and happy, no.

Being overwhelmed and messy is part of being human.

Accepting their humanness is what I can teach my clients because I do that with myself every day and that feels amazing.

Where are you now?

What are you feeling?

What are you thinking?

Are you at peace with all of it?

If not why not?

Would you like to be?

Let’s talk.

Natalia

Tags, , , , , , , , , , ,

A sock on the floor.

I make decisions quickly and strongly!

The truth is that is not fully true.
I would like it that to be 100 true but its not.  And it’s okay.
I have holidays unplanned, cars uncleaned, errands not run.  And I am tired.
So what? So nothing.
I move on to the next task and the next and before you know it I don’t have a problem with making decisions.  I have decided I don’t have that problem. I make decisions quickly and strongly.
Here’s what I just realized, I don’t have to make all the decisions at once and be great at decision making forever. I just have to make one decision about me being great at decision making and the rest takes care of itself.
I see yet another sock on the floor(boys and socks, eye roll) and instead of walking right by it I pick it up and throw in the laundry basket, why?
Because I made one decision : I’m great at making decisions. (chanting in my head) And a sock is just another small decision.
What one decision do you need to make to make all the other decisions irrelevant?
N

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I did not want to stuff my face with chips!

You guys !!!!

Chips!!!
I went to an event last week with chips and wine and treats!!! And you know whats incredible ? Is that I did not stuff my face with them NOR did I WANT TO! What???
If you told me 2 years ago I would get to this point I would not believe you.
I used to eat everything, all the time.
If was was at a birthday party, dinner party or kids birthday party I would just go for it.
I think I did that my whole life to make myself feel more secure, more confident, more at peace with myself and how inadequate I felt.
I had no idea I was doing it back then, I just felt like being at an ‘event’ gave me full permission to eat whatever I want and however much I want!
And I did.
And my tummy would hurt!
And then I would do it all over again.
I just thought that I deserve a treat, whats the big deal, its just one bite, it tastes so good, everyone else is eating it, etc, etc.
I used to wonder what other people think when they don’t want to eat this cake or chips or have the extra chocolate.
“How is it possible?”
I kept wondering about them and wishing it was impossible for me to get to a point where I don’t want a peanut butter and jam sandwich before bed.
Well let me tell you that if it’s possible for me to be in front of the chips and NOT WANT TO STUFF my face with them then it is for sure possible for you.
I was on autopilot, I was not thinking about whether I was hungry, full or whether it serves me or not.
The only thought process I remember now is what I was thinking afterwards:
‘why did I overeat’
‘I wish I didn’t’
‘I hate my stomach sticking out that way’ and ‘I wish I could eat more not to feel all this horrible guilt and hate’.
So if you are eating on autopilot and you have a lot of weight to lose or only a few pounds, it doesn’t matter because you can definitely get to place where I am now, be at peace with myself and not crave the chips that are in front of me.
p.s. I am still human and I do occasionally relapse into thinking I want food but those moments are so rare and I know exactly what to do when that happens; i know how to take care of myself in those moments when I need some comfort food.

Tags, , , , , , ,

It’s like you worrying you will get fat if they eat cake!

When you notice that you are worried about what other people think you need to SEE that YOU valuing their opinion is only coming from you wanting to FEEL a certain way. (Or avoiding feeling a certain way)
You are trying to manipulate them to think a certain way SO that you can FEEL a certain way. (If they think I’m great I can finally relax)
GUESS WHAT?
THEIR thoughts can’t just jump INTO YOU.
You think a thought and that thought creates a feeling for you.
SO what you are trying to do can never work.
It’s always YOU who creates that feeling for yourself.
SO leave THEM alone and leave THEIR thoughts alone because your thoughts are the ONLY ones that can ever create what you want.
It’s like you worrying that you will get fat if someone else eats cake. That’s not possible because the cake in their body can only create fat for them, and never for you.
So you literally don’t have to worry about what they think or eat because it is impossible for it to effect you until you think it or eat it.
cheers!
N

Tags, , , , , , , , , , ,

Big Decisions

If you want big results you have to be willing to make BIG decisions.
Why is this important?
Well because we all want something BIG and amazing in our life, but are we willing to decide to go ALL IN on it and MAKE it the right decision?
The truth is I was just tested on this in my own life and it was SO hard!
I didn’t know if I would make it to the other side because I was stuck in the ‘I don’t know’.
“I don’t know if I can do it.”
“I don’t know how it will work out.”
“I just don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t know what the right thing to do is.”
All those thoughts did was block me from looking for solutions.
Even thought they pretended to be necessary and important stating the truth like that, they kept me stuck in dread and impossibility of me working it out.
By thinking those thoughts I kept on NOT deciding.
I thought I was ‘deciding’ which is always a lie.
Making a decision takes only ONE moment. 
The rest of the time we are afraid of making it.
And all the excuses we tell ourselves about ‘having to think about it’ and ‘needing more time’ and ‘not being ready’ are all ways for us to stay in the indecision.
Which pretends to get us closer to what we want but NEVER does.
We want decision making to feel comfy and safe and happy!
Because we think that will be a sign that we are doing it right.
That is also a lie.
How can a big decision to do something new in your life feel good?
New things never feel just good.
They may feel exciting and hopeful and full of relief, but there’s always that part where you are terrified and are risking embarrassment and complete failure.
SO what if making decisions was ALL about feeling unsafe, risky and scary?
What if THAT was your indicator of you doing it right?
Even AFTER you have made the decision you will for sure FREAK OUT.
But you know what – I GOT YOU.
I have gone through it and I know exactly what to expect and what you will come up against and how to get through it.
So if you want to freak out with me I promise you it’ll be fun!

Tags, , , , , , , , , , ,

I love my in-laws!

Do you love when your in-laws visit?

I do !

What if that was possible for you as well?

What if I told you it that you don’t need to change your in-laws to enjoy their company ?

What if all you had to do was decide to love them and there’s nothing they can do about it!?

What if it was as simple as that?

I know you are saying in your head “you’re lucky you have such good in-laws!, if you only knew mine!”.

That is all bs my friends.

In-laws are all in-laws.

They are just people.

You can love them or hate them.

That all depends on you and not them.

My in-laws are not better than any other parents. (Although i do think I lucked out!)

I am not better than anybody else.

So you can’t use those as an excuse not to believe me.

What if I was right on this one ?

What if you could just love them and find yourself saying those words to your husband right after their visit?

What?

That could be you!

What would that mean for you and your family?

Are you a little curious?

Let me tell you- it is SO worth it! .
Try it!

If you are having trouble with this and need someone further along that path to guide you I am here.
P.s. instead of your parents in law sub in any person. It applies to all the pps in your life. .

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

May be I don’t really want this.

“May be I don’t really want this”
.
Our brains are sooo good at coming up with excuses that work!
.
Are you “not sure” if you want to start a business or write a book or do that thing you secretly want to do ?
.
Sometimes you may take one step closer towards it and then get scared shitless because it’s hard and feels not so rainbowy as you imagined it.
.
Then your Go back to the safe “I’m not sure”, “I need to think about it”, “i’ll do it when the time is right”, “i know I’ll do it when I’m ready”. .
That only gives you temporary relief and not the results you want.
.
I have the best and the worst news for you: it never gets better !
.
It will always feel this scary and shitty and nerve wrecking as it does now.
.
The good news is you can start now and don’t have to wait for anything magical to happen. .
I’m doing it today, are you ?

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , ,

He used to make me SO angry!

We used to butt heads A LOT!

He is just like me in so many ways!

I used to get angry at him when he was getting angry at me or at his brothers.

“Why can’t he just be happy like his brother?” I used to think.

I used to be frustrated just thinking of picking him up from school or putting him to bed.

I wasn’t looking forward to our daily struggle.

That even sounds so strange to me when I’m writing it now because we are in such a better place today!

He hugs me whenever he can.

I am able to look at him and love him and appreciate all that he is going through and especially when he is frustrated.

He hasn’t changed one bit.

I haven’t changed one bit.

But my thinking has changed so dramatically that our relationship is completely transformed.

This is the picture from our hike on the weekend where he is hugging me and it is the best moment ever.

He also told me the other night “you’re the best” and that was a little cherry on top of how great things are now.

This type of transformation is available to you in your relationships with your partners, parents, kids or friends.

This is the best work I have ever done and I would love to share it with you !

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

50% shitty and 50%amazing.

My 50/50 this weekend during camping was this:
The amazing 50 percent: Beautiful sunsets and landscape of the Dinosaur Provincial Park.  Loved watching kids climb. Doug and I really enjoyed exploring the park and watching our kids try to climb everything (well, i was freaked out a bit, but luckily no injuries).
Shitty 50%: Freezing temperatures, trying to warm up by the fire, heater, wearing winter jackets to bed, kids getting sick, leaving early.
This was our first camping trip with our little twinsies who are 3 and a half now and it was so exciting to finally be able to do almost everything with them and as a whole family of 6.
I loved watching them hike with us, sit by the fire with us and take in this nature experience for the first time.
The flip side of that was listening to their unreasonable requests for mama, tissue, not wanting to go to the toilet and just plain whining for no reason at all.
I did a fantastic job packing and prepping and planning or this trip that we didn’t forget anything and had yummy food and that made camping feel seamless and enjoyable! AND I learned I can pack the whole car ON my own. A little badass of me if I may (my husband has always packed the car and so I felt a lot of pressure to do well).
 But the flip side of that is having to do all the work even when it feels overwhelming. SO worth it.
I really wanted to check out ‘comfort camping’ at this park and since we can afford that and it is October I was excited to sleep in a bed, and not have to put up a tent. Easy, simple camping where I just have to pack food and clothes! Love it!
WELL, the flip side of that as I found out was being bitten by a mouse on a finger while I was sleeping!
THAT was shittiest part of the whole 50% and i slept in the car after that the rest of the night AND we did NOT stay the second night!
Why am I telling you about my 50/50?
Because having this concept tucked away in the back of my mind the whole weekend allowed me to enjoy the 50% that were great instead of focusing on the cold, whiny kids and the f*ing mouse!
I would love to share this concept with you in more detail and if you are interested you know where to find me!

Tags, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,