I got this message from my client yesterday: “ Today went really well. Funny thing is now I’m like “ oh this was super easy and natural, what was I worried about” but the truth is it’s because I did all the work.”
This person has been preparing for the event and the way she will show up at this event. She texted me to let me know it was a success and went well. I love receiving these messages, of course.
I’ve also been working with her on recognizing and giving due credit to herself for doing the work and creating the results she has (good or bad, especially the good).
And that is what she did super well here. Even though her brain went straight to ‘oh that was easy’.
Isn’t it funny that our brains do that?
You’ve been preparing and practicing and doing all the hard work in believing in yourself and believing good things about you. You go and do the new, scary thing and your brain discounts it to being easy. NO!
It WAS hard for you before you did the work. YOU DID the work and now you have made it easy for yourself, yes. But YOU created that, not the event.
Yes some people naturally assign all the credit to themselves and that is great. The rest of us are not so lucky and have to deal with this human part of our brain.
It is super easy to circumvent though. Just remind yourself just like my client did – that the reason it was a success, and went well and she did show up as the version of herself she wants to show up – is ALL because of the decision and the work she did. SO important.
IF she hadn’t noticed that and didn’t acknowledge that she created that for herself then she would have given up the most amazing knowledge she can ever have: that is that she IS in charge of her own experience in any situation.
KNOWING that is life changing!
Having a success or failure can then look like this :
“how did I create that for myself?”
“How did I show up that ended in this result?”
“What was I believing to act that confident?”
IF you believe in your ability to do that, then you will approach every situation with the thought of ‘how can I create what I want here?”
Dissecting each little success and failure is super helpful when we first start out.
That is exactly what my client did.
My job as a coach is to show her exactly how she created this with her thinking.
To make sure she does give herself credit.
To remind her that only 6 months ago she couldn’t have done that because she didn’t have the knowledge or the commitment.
Now she does!
When we bring her attention to every little win and how SHE created it we are creating ALL the reasons to keep doing the work, to taste the fruits of her labour and to get excited each step of the way!
Have a great Thursday everyone!