Archive June 2019

I’m writing a book.

Have I told you guys that I’m writing a book?
Yep.
I am that person who thinks they can write a book and then sits down and writes a book. I am currently 7 days in , 7 pages done. I write every day for a little bit, up to 30 mins. I am really enjoying it so far.
I declared this to my boys at bed time the other day, while reading books to them.
Austin thought for a second, and then said :
“So are you going to sell your book at the garage sale?”
We just died laughing.
OH the logic of a 6 year old.
Why garage sale ?
And he also brought up a good point: why write a book?
The purpose of me writing a book is not to sell it.
Here is my twofold purpose.
1. First and foremost I want to write for myself, to show myself I can write a book and also for the experience of writing.
I have discovered I love to write so here I am writing. That’s it.
The process is the goal.
The other part of it that I love to think about : what does it take to become that person who writes a book?
How does that person think about the world and about themselves?
So fascinating to explore that.
2. IF this books helps just one person in their life, that is a cherry on top.  I already see that person being me. So i get to enjoy both of those goals all at once.
But, today is sunday and we just got back from the longest bike ride we have ever done as 6 of us, 3 hours with multiple stops and snacks and all the boys did amazing ( twins got to ride with Doug and I on the back of my bike and the chariot, Cade did bike half of the way, which was super impressive).
So back to real life, morning was fun. Now i’ll have some lunch and a coffee and tidy up a bit. Get ready for a get together with some friends tonight! See ya’ll tomorrow !

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BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert, book review

Image result for big magicHolly cow she can write! She writes so well that she inspired me to commit to writing for 30 days staring (my blog and a page for my first book – because turns out I love to write! But this is not about me, this is about the brilliant gems that I am here to share with you from her book).
“My creative expression is the most important thing in the world to me (if I’m to live artistically), and it also must not matter at all (if I am to live sanely).”
Elizabeth goes in depth to explain this as she sees it as she believes that thinking about our creativity this way IS the best way to think about it as it serves us so well.

It makes it so easy to create all the time with no pressure to succeed and at the same time we DO make it a high priority to CREATE whatever it is we love to create – we will always make time for it and seek out even 15 mins a day just to do it.

I absolutely love that concept and have experience the powerful effect of it directly on my own life and how I approach creating value in the world. It becomes so light and fun and sustainable!

“When people are having an affair, they don’t mind losing sleep, or missing meals.  They will make whatever sacrifices they have to make, and they will blast through any obstacles, in order to be alone with the object of their devotion and obsession – because it matters to them.” 
Here Elizabeth Gilbert compares our relationship with our creativity(whatever shape it takes for you) to the relationship one has when they are having an affair.

She suggest that if we can see our art from that perspective and approach it with such willingness to do it whenever, wherever we will be so much more excited and inspired to give it our time!

This is what I always do myself and I love that about me.

If I have 30 mins, or even 15 mins I will sit down and write something or I will sit down and read something or learn something that I’m passionate about.  I am always squeezing in time with my ‘lover’ whenever I have. And this is the one affair my husband is supportive about:) He sees how happy it makes me.

“You must learn how to become a deeply disciplined half-ass.”
Elizabeth talks about how laziness and perfectionism are the two things that will always come in the way between us and our vocation.
Therefore we must, must, must learn to “become a deeply disciplined half-ass.”.
Work, work, work, work and don’t mind that it’s not perfect. Just get it done.
Amen.
“Possessing a creative mind, after all, is something like having a border collie for a pet: it needs to work or otherwise it will cause you an outrageous amount of trouble.” : “ eating a couch, digging a hole through the living room floor”
“If I’m not actively creating something, then I’m probably actively destroying something (myself, a relationship, or my own peace of mind.)”
So true! Love this quote.
“Passion makes you get divorced and sell all your possessions and shave your head and move to Nepal. Curiosity doesn’t ask nearly so much of you.”
Elizabeth encourages us to be curious with ourselves instead of looking for our passion.  This is her argument.
It’s just such a gentler approach than ‘I need to find my passion’, which can involve changing your life; which is not necessarily momentum building.
“Sometimes I think that the difference between a tormented creative life and a tranquil creative life is nothing more than a difference between the word awful and the word interesting.”
I love, love, love this perspective.
Brilliant.
All of my breakthroughs are going from ‘horrible’ to ‘interesting’ perspective.
Try this! It works!
“What would you do if you knew that you might very well fail?”
And for the final quote I picked this one.
If you are looking for a way to find what you want to do with your life, try this question.  What are you willing to fail at to do?
What would be exciting to fail at for you?
What is worth all the failure for you to pursue?
For me it is hands down this work, coaching myself and others and learning.
I thinks this is THE most fun!
Have a beautiful day everyone!
Natalia

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The type of client and student i am

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Does this ever happen to you that you realize one day that you are doing exactly what you want to be doing and being exactly who you want to be being?

The other day i was sending some of my favourite podcasts to my friend and at that moment i realized – i have HIRED and and am WORKING with all 3 of my favourite people, whom i admire and learn from all the time.

That was such an amazing thing for me to realize, because not do i claim to be the life coach but i am also a student and a client at the same time, which makes me a better coach. 

I am being the person, that same person that i expect my students be: do the work, show up, keep showing up, commit to working with a coach you trust. 

I truly believe that i can’t be in integrity and ask my clients to commit to working with me and to pay me and to learn from me if i’m not doing the same with my coaches.

And it works the other way around too.

If i am making big decisions and committing to work with a coach( or 3), if i am doing all the homework and experiencing the transformation then I can believe the same transformation is available to my clients when they do the work.

That is the magic, i believe.

I show up as the student and client i want my clients to be.  It’s super simple and exciting to think about!

Realizing i have hired 3 coaches made me feel like i’m that person who can’t stop getting tattoos !  ha ha. I am hooked on that high and i want more!

Who inspires you into action? Who is that person for you who makes you believe that you can do whatever you want and have the life you want?  If you would like to explore if coaching is for you, email me back and we can discuss it over coffee!

Happy Friday guys!

Natalia

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“That was easy” vs. “I made it easy!”

I got this message from my client yesterday: “ Today went really well.  Funny thing is now I’m like “ oh this was super easy and natural, what was I worried about” but the truth is it’s because I did all the work.”

This person has been preparing for the event and the way she will show up at this event. She texted me to let me know it was a success and went well. I love receiving these messages, of course.

I’ve also been working with her on recognizing and giving due credit to herself for doing the work and creating the results she has (good or bad, especially the good).

And that is what she did super well here. Even though her brain went straight to ‘oh that was easy’.

Isn’t it funny that our brains do that?

You’ve been preparing and practicing and doing all the hard work in believing in yourself and believing good things about you.  You go and do the new, scary thing and your brain discounts it to being easy.  NO!

It WAS hard for you before you did the work. YOU DID the work and now you have made it easy for yourself, yes. But YOU created that, not the event.

Yes some people naturally assign all the credit to themselves and that is great. The rest of us are not so lucky and have to deal with this human part of our brain.

It is super easy to circumvent though. Just remind yourself just like my client did – that the reason it was a success, and went well and she did show up as the version of herself she wants to show up – is ALL because of the decision and the work she did.  SO important.

IF she hadn’t noticed that and didn’t acknowledge that she created that for herself then she would have given up the most amazing knowledge she can ever have: that is that she IS in charge of her own experience in any situation.

KNOWING that is life changing!   

Having a success or failure can then look like this :

“how did I create that for myself?” 

“How did I show up that ended in this result?”

“What was I believing to act that confident?”

IF you believe in your ability to do that, then you will approach every situation with the thought of  ‘how can I create what I want here?”

SO FUN!

Dissecting each little success and failure is super helpful when we first start out.

That is exactly what my client did.

My job as a coach is to show her exactly how she created this with her thinking. 

To make sure she does give herself credit. 

To remind her that only 6 months ago she couldn’t have done that because she didn’t have the knowledge or the commitment.

Now she does!

When we bring her attention to every little win and how SHE created it we are creating ALL the reasons to keep doing the work, to taste the fruits of her labour and to get excited each step of the way!

Have a great Thursday everyone!

N

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Thank you letter to Mark Manson!

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You guys!

I was just reading ‘Big Magic’ By Elizabeth Gilbert. (amazing book by the way, I am LOVING it so much, i’m almost sad to be almost done.)

And the coolest thing happened. She was referencing Mark Manson‘s article.  Not just any article but THE article that had changed my life!!!!

In this article he talks about how finding your passion doesn’t have to be hard. If it’s your passion you are already doing it, that’s kind of the definition of passion.

Usually because we already doing it and we are ‘looking’ for a our passion, we don’t realize what it is that we are doing, which is ultimately is our passion already and we are already doing it.

My biggest take away from that article was that i’m already doing what i’m passionate about and i’m just realizing that it’s a thing, a skill, a talent.

The questions that he suggest you can use to find out what it is that you love to do already is the following. : “What do you do that while doing it you forget to go pee?” (the rest of the questions i forget because this one worked right away!)

I absolutely love that question because i right away knew exactly what it is that i do and i LOVE doing it. Talking to people and figuring our problems! I literally would hold my pee until after so i wouldn’t have to interrupt the magic.

That article changed my life and i am a life coach now, and i couldn’t be happier about it. so this is a thank you letter to Marc Manson. Thank you for doing your work and showing up for yourself! Your work is inspiring and valuable!

I must also mention the ‘shit sandwich’, which he talks about.  Brilliant, brilliant! What kind of shit sandwich are you willing to eat in order to do what you love?

If you are not willing to put up with something that sucks in what you do, you will not do it! It’s as simple as that.

He made me realize that I’m willing to put up with so much discomfort, fear, doubt, confusion, procrastination in order to coach and be coached and grow and achieve. Love it!

 

 

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Do it anyways

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Happy Tuesday ya’ll!

As you may know Tuesdays are my day off and today was a special edition day off!

I had a photoshoot session this morning for my new business.  My friend Andrea was so generous with her time and spent the morning taking professional pictures of me.

We had a great time as we always do, with lots of dress changes, scenery and goofing around.   We wrapped up the morning with a lunch and a coffee and our favourite pass time of talking about business, coaching, life and more business.

The day didn’t start out on such a high note though and that’s why i’m telling you this story.

I did not feel like doing the photoshoot AT ALL.

Tired, moody, demotivated and other things i won’t bore you with.

All i wanted to do was stay home and go back to bed.

But I know better than to listen to that urge now.

I did go back and forth in my head about canceling or rescheduling and blaming it on the forecast.

Then something happened that perked me right up.

“Do it anyway…” the voice said.

I have recently seen my own coach post about that and so it floated up in my head when i needed it most.

You see i would never get anything done if i listened to that voice in my head all the time. Sure you know the voice i’m talking about.

So easy to listen to that voice when it’s something like driving kids to school ( of course i will drive them even if i don’t feel like it.)

But when it comes to going for our dreams, creating something of value, doing something that we don’t have to do at all – then is super easy to listen to the voice and believe its sound reason.

“The forecast calls for rain – reschedule for sure!”

“No, we are doing it anyway!”

And the day turned out beautiful, mostly sunny with no rain.

 

So my friends, whatever it is you want and planned to do  – do it anyway, do it even if you don’t feel like it, even if the circumstances are not perfect. Because you know what, an ‘imperfect – done’ is better than a ‘perfect – never started’.

 

Natalia

 

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What if the it’s all rigged in OUR favour?

What if we believed that the universe is working for us?

Would we try to manipulate what others think about us?

Would we worry so much that what others think about us is true or untrue?

Would we be afraid that others think something horrible about us?

Would we change how we show up in a way that would ensure that others think great things about us?

 

What if we assumed others ALREADY think amazing things about us?

What would that be like for us?

Would we agree?

If not, why not?

If we agree then what do we get to think and feel?

“I’m amazing”.

Feel amazing!

Show up as your best self and think of giving as there’s nothing that you need from anyone.

You are whole and complete no matter what.

How fun would that be?

Try that on.

Have a beautiful Monday everyone!

 

Natalia

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“True Belonging is Not Fitting In.” – Brené Brown

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“True Belonging is not fitting in.” -Brene Brown.

I must admit that when my friend asked me to write about this quote I didn’t quite get it.
Which is now so exciting because it took me a while to think on it and really internalize the meaning.
If I was to explain it super simply I would say this:  When I tried to fit in I was agreeing with everyone and everything and now that I belong I speak what’s on my mind.
I’m not afraid of what others will think.
When I tried fitting in I was constantly scared of doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing.
By trying to fit in I felt so lost.
I felt exhausted.
I felt out of control.
Now I allow other people to be wrong about me.
I KNOW what I believe.
I have strong beliefs and I share them.
I am at peace with what I think and what others think.
That feeling of peace is the sense of belonging.
That full permission to be yourself, to say exactly what you think and assume you will be accepted.
P.S.Have you thought about what brings you peace and a sense of belonging? Or does its seem like a distant mirage that is drowned in anxiety and overwhelm? Let me help you find what yo believe in and find your sense of belonging? I promise you it is worth the work and life changing! Simply email me back and say “I’M IN!”.
 
Natalia 

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Why you should manage your mind!

 

58205107278__7152E222-A839-4BF9-9B54-DCEC42AF3D64I have a good one for you this week!!!

Do you ever scroll through Instagram or FB and see a picture of a friend with her friend, smiling, posing, dressed up?
We have all been through that loop of comparison, jealousy and beating ourselves up over not having it as awesome as them.
The reason I’m brining it up is because this week I had an amazing example of what this exact experience can be like when you work on managing your mind.
Earlier in the week I had coached one of my clients on this exact scenario.  The person was being sucked in by all the comparing, feeling not good enough, self loathing, jealousy etc.  After we had that conversation I went on with my week.
2 days later I was scrolling through facebook and came across a picture of my life coach posing with one of her students. Smiling, happy, at a retreat in a beautiful place.
Immediately I thought that I wanted to be the one hanging out with my mentor, whom I adore, not taking kids to soccer.  I felt so down and frustrated.
What happened next was simply a result of all the work I’ve done on myself: I noticed I was doing it and quickly snapped out of it. It only took a few minutes, that’s it.
I should be exactly where I am: taking kids to soccer.  How do I know this to be true? The reason I know it should be this way is because IT IS!” When you stop arguing with reality, life gets easier.
NOW in my eyes this is a huge difference in how I handled this situation compared to how I used to handle it 2 years ago.
Managing our mind changes our lives.  This worked saved me hours, and probably days of feeling bad about myself, my life, my activities, my everything.  How fantastic is that?
This is WHY I am such a proponent of working on our brain and owning our feelings and thoughts.
Even though my brain goes to the negative as a default (just like the rest of us), I am so aware of what it’s doing and skilled at directing it that it is almost effortless now to not get sucked into the petty bs, and therefore have the life free of comparison and full of inspiration.
P.S.
Have you thought about what you think about when you scroll through social media? 
If you haven’t and would like to learn how not to be triggered by the picture perfect social media world I would love to show you how.  
Simply email me back.  
If you find this email helpful please forward it to someone who you think can benefit from this information. 
Thank you!
Natalia

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What is Self-Confidence?

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It is the ability and willingness to feel any feeling.

You are self-confident if you are not afraid to feel

• fear
• failure
• embarrassment
• humiliation
• isolation

What is the worst that can happen in life?

– death
– loss
– humiliation
– divorce
– decease
– rejection
– embarrassment

 

What makes those things bad for us?

The only way they are bad for us is through our feelings about them.

When they happen we feel pain, loss, humiliation, hurt, fear.

We are afraid we will be permanently damaged if these things happen.

That is not true.

If we are willing and able to process any feeling and stay with it as long as needed we will come out stronger and more confident on the other end.

That is all that’s required of us: to be willing to feel any feeling.

When we avoid ‘life’ because we are avoiding feeling horrible we think we are doing what’s best for us.

We think we are being safe, smart by choosing what’s predictable, comfortable and familiar.

What in fact happens is we are having doubts about ourselves.

We don’t know if we can handle what happens to us.

We are not sure if we can handle losing a close one, getting divorced, going for that promotion and being rejected.

When we are having self doubt we are creating the opposite of self-confidence.

What is your opinion of yourself and is it creating self-confidence or self-doubt?

 

P.S. If you want to know more about self-confidence schedule a one on one session with me and we can uncover your current beliefs about yourself and create new ones which will create the new confident you! Email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com to schedule a time that works for you! Are you in ?

 

Natalia

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